Now in its second year, the True to the Brew 5k is the latest race in the True to the Brew Series to promote the Palmetto Trail. The series already includes the “trail lite” experience of the 10k on the Peak to Pomaria section and the technical singletrack of the half marathon at Croft State Park. This race takes a different approach though, and features the urban Capitol City passage, all on paved roads. Palmetto Conservation Foundation president Mary Roe and GRIT race director Erin Roof have continued to make it friendly to beer freaks like myself, with Craft and Draft doing packet pickup and providing post-race refreshments. It rarely takes much arm twisting for me to go out to run a race and stuff my face with breakfast sandwiches and IPAs. I must preserve my Sasquatchian physique.

This race had me a little antsy, since I’ve fallen into a yearly pattern of getting hurt in the Dam to Dam relay , not taking enough time off, careening into a vortex of chronic pain and eventually getting healed by physical therapy.  Apparently, this is the punishment for still trying to race as much as I did 15 years ago. Anyway, my right hamstring has been a bit gimpy, and I’ve paused the mileage ramp up for Boston next month. But hey, what’s better than healing up an injury than blasting out a 5k at 100 percent?

Showing up on race morning, I realized this was definitely not going to be a PR kind of day. The first week of March is always a complete crap shoot in terms of weather. My birthday is March 3, and I’ve had parties in snow (1980!) and 75 degrees. Well, this Saturday it looked like the latter. It was 68 degrees getting in the car at 7:30. Race time was 9 am. Yikes. I did a solo warm up and did all kinds of bizarre tantric poses trying to loosen up that hammy. I’m sorry for the unlucky souls who had to witness all the weirdness. I thought I was being super clever finding a rogue portapotty near Craft and Draft, though it was locked. Using my years of experience in desperate pooptastrophes, I quickly unlocked it from the outside not once thinking that SOMEONE MIGHT ALREADY BE IN THERE. Thankfully Brad Batchelder was on his way out when I opened the door like an idiot.

Strolling up to the start, I was in full Debbie Downer mode. I was already sweating. At least my misery had company, since a ton of CRCers were out to claim the double Tour de Columbia points for this event. No Hunter Jarvis or super elites so at least the point chances remained relatively high. I already knew that my portapotty buddy was probably going to take me down for masters but maybe I could at least get 2nd.

The start felt good, and there was a little bit of a breeze, so maybe it wasn’t going to be that bad. Yeah, the first left turn on Wheat dispelled that notion immediately. The cross breeze dried up and we were turned right into the blazing sun. I cursed out into the void, which was occupied by a few young dudes and Shannon Godby. I felt like I was going pretty fast, aided by my new adidas adios pro 4s, the decidedly less-than-blue blue shoes. Teal is probably closer, maybe 1984 Miami Dolphins “blue”. It was the best I could do. I hit mile 1 in 6:36 or something. I’d like to be sub 20 but between this heat and the gimp hammy this will have to do. I didn’t dare try to ramp it up. The reason: my Achilles’ heel is an unusually warm race day. My freight train physique requires several weeks of training to heat acclimate, and I will implode if I try to go hard before I’m used to it. Case in point, the 2014ish Bayler’s Bash on a 70-degree Christmas Eve. Total bonktastrophe complete with my only 5k walksies ever. But I can’t let up too much this time. The freight train has a passenger, and Shannon is along for the ride. I mean she is literally breathing down my neck and probably drafting on my considerable wake. I’ll have nightmares for sure. It’s nice to make a turn on Prospect and head back toward home on Monroe. At least the sun is out of my face. Mile 2 is almost exactly the same as mile 1, and finally I lose Shannon’s industrial machine breathing in my ear. I feel myself slowly dying in this heat, but I figure just maintaining pace will be enough today. I manage to track down Micah Simonsen on Monroe, but I am definitely not confident I can hold the lead. Especially when I misjudge the turn on to King about three blocks too early. Wheels are coming off by the time I actually do reach King, but I can almost see the finish right away. I’d like to say I had a triumphant classic Blue Shoe finish, but I pretty much mail it in. I might have even been passed at some point, but I was so delirious I can’t be sure. I flopped across the finish in 20:26. Not my finest performance, but it was good enough for 3rd masters. Unfortunately, I had to leave early to taxi my middle son home for USC Spring break, but I did make sure to guzzle a Palmetto trail beer and grab my hot sauce and PT mug prizes!  

In the overall, Victor Shellhammer took the win in 18:51, while GRIT family Parker Roof took home 2nd in 19:28. Douglas Smith was 3rd overall but I guess opted for 1st masters. Damn these superfit middle aged dads. Benjamin Laprise took 3rd overall. Nora Dragovic crushed a 19:32 and took first overall female, really impressive at 41.  Kacey Miller was 2ndin 22:20 since Shannon opted for first masters, and Korinne Collins rocked a 22:34 for 3rd.  Female Masters included Geraldine Schnupp in 2nd and Sarah Donohue in 3rd. Bathroom buddies Brad Batchelder and the Sasquatch took the rest of the male masters podium.

Age group honor roll – women:  Pippa Kenagy was champion of the 11 to 14. Lauren Carpenter took third in the 15-19.  Julia Gherin g and Meg Hicks went 1-2 in the 25 to 29 after last week’s Disney half. Ryan McCormick won the 30-34. Ashleigh Carpenter was 2nd in the 40-44. Stefanie Hauser was 3rd in the 45-49. Shenequa Coles and Angie Thames were tops in the 50-54. Sara Wilcox and Kelly Danias did the same in the 55-59.  Melody Kreiling, Shirley Smith and Beverly Breuer swept the 65-69. Wildewood pickleball fanatic Glenna Gillentine won the 70-74 with Helene Lipe a close 2nd.

Age group honor roll – men: Kyle Logue won the 35-39. Micah Simon and Chad Powell took the top 2 in the 45-49.  President Shelley won the 55-59. Joey Swearingen and Phil Smith were 1st and 3rd in the 60-64. Lorand Batten was 2nd in the 65-69.  Pete O’Boyle, George Cassidy and Leeds Barroll swept the 70 to 74. Ron Hagell and Alex Ponomarev won the 75 and over.

Other notable finishers: Patrick Hall, Jon Baysden, Marty Wentzel, Darci Cannon, Violet Beets, Sara Kozar, Son Nguyen, Gabby Swearingen, Teresa Harrington, Michael Jensen, Lois Leaburn, Michael Beaudet, Gretchen Lambert, Jenny Schneider, Deana Rennick, Mary Cassidy, Jennifer Rudasill, Jerry Rich, Pete Poore, Harry Strick, Ron Lipe, Clara Beaudet, Heather Herndon, and Dianne Steadman. Let me know if I forgot someone. drachtungbaby@yahoo.com