The Cupid’s Chase 5k has been put on for about a decade and is one of 48 similar races across the country put on by Community Options. Community Options helps fund programs and housing for people with disabilities, so obviously a good cause. It’s held in Maxcy Gregg park and features a fairly fast out and back course through Shandon. While known for being on the pricey side, the race has a reputation for some awesome awards and door prizes.
I missed last week’s Be the Buffalo, so it didn’t take long for me to develop a bad case of the FOMOs and generalized race withdrawal. Cupid’s was the only race this weekend, so I hoped it would bring out all the hardcore CRCers already out there scrounging for 2025 points even before they get their 2024 plaque. Greedy bastards (me included). The registration was a little steep at 45 bucks but fortunately this esteemed publication had a discount code. READ YOUR NEWSLETTER, PEOPLE.
For better or worse, Cupid’s also starts at 10 am, so plenty of time to sleep late and get ready. I always appreciate ample time for my dramatic colon to play out its typical three act play on race mornings. I get there an hour early and it looks like a decent crowd. Weather is nice though crazy warm for February, 60ish. True to form, Cupid’s race packet has a Nike tech shirt with $22 tag still on it. Not too shabby. I even wore it to the race because apparently, I’m a notal noob.
Silent H and I slog jogged a few miles and checked out his new Honda, even though it made me sad with the recent death of my prized 2005 pilot with all the race stickers. Rest easy, big blue. One surprise encore for my colon and everybody starts lining up. The crowd is sizable but no Hunter (aka 2024 SC male runner of the year) or other super elites. Tanner is on hand, and I say he might have the W on this one. There are some pesky high school kids though, so that’s always a wild card. After my start line selfie, I look over and see Phil Midden. OH NO. Like OJ Striggles, Phil is exactly my age and a far superior runner, as well as a long-time destroyer of my trophy hunting hopes. He rarely races, but when he shows up, he gives me a good beat down. Oh well.
So I should really break this race down into three separate dramas.
1) THE TURN. This course is a simple out and back, with the first part straight up Blossom until you turn on Amherst. Nothing super surprising in the early going. I paced with J-Ly early and Tanner and a group of kids led the way up ahead. I powered up the hill and I’m focused on getting my breathing back when I spot some chaos up ahead. The lead cop car appears to stop suddenly, back up and then turn on Sims. Everyone in the lead pack follows the car. OH NO. I hate misdirects. I’m the next runner and I have a crisis of conscience. Well, I’d like to call it a crisis of conscience. More like a “what should I do so have a chance at that sweet CC swag”. I could run the right course, but we’re only a block or two from the turnaround. Community Options is not exactly a bunch of USATF road racing officials, so a slightly short course is probably not going to result in the lead pack getting DQ’d. Where is HYC when you need him?? The thought of being the lead guy to run the right course and getting a win on a technicality does cross my mind, though. Ultimately, I decided running a 4k today doesn’t sound too bad , so I turn on Sims too.
2) ON PATROL LIVE. After I make the turn, I realize this is even shorter than I thought. I’m all in my head, knowing my time is going to be useless, and Phil has probably stolen my swag already anyway. I’m awakened from my Debbie downer episode when some dude in an SUV takes a hard turn onto the course, followed by a scream of some choice words by the cop managing the intersection. I’m about to cross when I see the cop jump in his car, flip his blue lights and haul ass down Wheat to go get the SUV guy. I look both ways at the intersection, which is a little hard to do when you’re pulling 5k pace as an albino sasquatch. Thankfully any other cars there decide they don’t want to get arrested for vehicular manslaughter either. I didn’t see the aftermath, but H reported he saw the SUV guy in handcuffs. Dayum.
3) AMBULANCE FOR ARTIS. So I burn down Blossom as hard as I could, but the two high schoolers in front of me are not going to let a near grandmasters chunky boy chase them down. We approach the finish line and see the clock flip over to the 17s. Yeah, this is super short. I hit the finish in 17:17, Garmin has 2.75 miles. Extrapolate the pace and consider a touch of Blue Shoe Kick and it’s probably about a 19:15. Not too bad. Not too long after, I’m jibba jabbing at the finish when I hear a scream and some brakes. Apparently, Artis Love came crashing through the finish and took a hard right, fearing a Kobayashi style “reversal of fortune”, aka puke. Only problem is that the finish is on Blossom st with an active right lane. A car brakes hard and Artis seemed to take a side swipe from the mirror. I went running over. Because everyone wants a psychiatrist as their first responder. THOUGH WE ARE M.D.s, DAMMIT. Sorry, got triggered. Luckily, he seemed ok, though I’m sure the adrenaline was high. The kid who hit him stopped and was appropriately freaked but he was glad Artis was all right. We walked Artis back to a chair by the finish, when I guess the RD decided to call in the cavalry. A fire truck and an ambulance with lights and sirens showed up and planted themselves right in front of the finish line. Dude got a level 1 trauma response for a bruised hip. Luckily Artis got checked out and was able to walk around later, though I’m sure he was sore the next day.
But, even with all the 911 action, let’s get to the important part – THE AWARDS. Cupid’s Chase awards are usually awesome, but totally random and highly variable. I swear someone will get a 100 dollar gift certificate while the next age group will be a key chain and a pen. I moved back into Debbie Downer mode for the awards until I heard the glorious announcement of the 3rd place overall PHIL MIDDEN. YESSSS. I call this “PULLING AN OJ”, where you get a consolation age group win because the real fastest guy got pulled up to the overall/masters. Some would be ashamed of this victory, but it’s safe to say, between flying elbows, turkey costumes and incessant poop talk, I HAVE ZERO SHAME. I got some rechargable running lights for my efforts, which, while not $100, was better than Julia’s candle collection.
In the overall, Douglas Nover and Justin Meza took the top 2 spots over my age group nemesis Phil Midden. Hannah Hilal and Meredith Moyer took the top 2 women’s spots, with Jennifer Lybrand third.
Age group honor roll: Finn Jaworek won the 2-12 boys. Jordan Seeger won the 20-24. Sellers Valimohamed and Julia Ghering took the top 2 in the 25-29. Artis survived his trauma for 1st in the 30-34. Tanner Lybrand won the 35-39 and was 4th overall. Daniel Mosher and Amy Magee both placed 2nd in the 40-44. Adam Lawrimore took 2nd in the 45-49 behind the sasquatch. Merrit McNeely was 1st and Jennifer McLeod 3rd in the 45-49 women. Kirkwood and H took the top 2 in the men’s 55-59, while Lynda Leonardi and Pam Griffin did the same among the women. Beverly Bauer and Sue Porter were 2-3 in the 60-69 group. Brigitte Smith won the 70+ women while George Cassidy, Jerry Rich and Leeds Barroll swept the men’s podium.
Notable finishers – Most importantly, Patrick Hall is the actual winner of this race, since he was the only one who ran the whole correct course. Other finishers included Joey and Gabriella Swearingen, Antjuan Seawright, Stephanie Mosher, Marcus Cunningham. Tameika Cunningham, Alex Ponomarev, Pete Poore, Harry Strick, Ron and Helene Lipe, Jennifer Reeves, Bridgette and Bryan Honor and current CRC tour race participation leader, Margie Shelburg.
Tour de Blue Shoes 