Author Archives: drachtungbaby

Shandon Turkey Trot and Burn 5k – Columbia,SC – 11/28/25

The Shandon Turkey Trot and Burn 5k, put on by Erin’s GRIT endurance, is now in its 7th year, and the race goes to benefit theShandon Neighborhood Council. The origin of this race actually dates to the 1980s, as the original Shandon Turkey Trot was a 4k/8k event that was held for over 30 years at Hand Middle School. That race was renowned for its cool turkey trophies, which I’m sure still exist among my “Raiders of the Lost Ark warehouse” trophy boxes in my attic. I know, I somehow still have trouble throwing away even generic winged foot medals from who knows which race in 2009. I have a serious problem. Sadly, the race kind of petered out in the late 2010s with declining participation and eventual degeneration from awesome turkey trophies into (GASP) paper certificate age group awards. Shudder to think. Luckily, they contacted Erin to revamp the race in 2019 and registrations have skyrocketed after missing a year for COVID in 2020. Turkey trophies were back as well. A mainstay of the race has been a costume contest, and this race remains perhaps my favorite non-Halloween cosplay event. Every year I drag out my turkey costume, which has grown, if it is even possible, more hideous over the years. I mean there’s the giant turkey gut and even a solid B-cup turkey “breasts”, topped off by the gobbler headpiece, which really makes the whole ensemble. Its original glory is preserved on the main pic of the race site here:

https://runsignup.com/Race/SC/Columbia/ShandonTurkeyTrotBurn5K

 

This year was going to be interesting, though. Interesting, in that I usually don’t prep for this race with a grueling multi-surface 50 miler in rural Maryland 5 days prior. So yes, legs were just a little wrecked. But I wasn’t going to miss this one. I mean being the unofficial GRIT spokesmodel is one thing but shaming decent runners by getting turkeyed is a unique perverse joy. Secret… despite its hideousness, the skirt-like undercarriage of the costume actually doesn’t slow you down too much. I mean the turkey PR is a solid 19:08, just off the all-time cosplay PR of 19:03 in the green velour of the Lucky Leprechaun. But hell, I wasn’t touching those numbers this year, even without the ultrarunning leg destruction. 

On race day, it was a great day for the costume. Probably the coldest it’s been in recent memory, probably high 40s. The crowd was already incredible. Erin said there were like 1200 people signed up, and I believe it. I even recruited my nephew Landon and 2 of my cousin Jen’s kids (Connor and Izzy) after Thanksgiving dinner, and surprisingly they all showed up too.  I picked up my packet and slog jogged a couple of miles with Silent H, Drew, the Yerg and Wes Sawyer. Drew had a disappointing day at JFK but still logged 28 miles, but said his knee was better since the race. Upon arriving back to my car, and just 15 minutes before the race, I was met with a tragedy of epic proportions. I strapped on the turkey-gut-and-boobs ensemble and went to grab the headpiece. WAIT. WHERE IS THE GOBBLER??? I ransacked the back of my car but realized it must have fallen out of the bag in my 50 shades-esque closet of costume delights. UGGGGGHH. Yeah, it was basically ruined. I mean, the turkey body is ugly but the headpiece beings it over the top. I was pretty devastated and had to apologize to Erin, who may end up firing me. A terrible oversight. 

Nonetheless, I showed up with my ¾ turkey outfit at the start line. While it used to be a trophy hunt, this race was now stacked. There were a bunch of cross-country kids at the start line and Hunter Jarvis was there to smoke every one of them. Yerg was in his Santa costume, and there was no contest that Christmas would beat out Thanksgiving this year. On the ladies’side were masters beasts Ashley Holman and Shannon Godby and a couple of fast looking 20 somethings. 

With the gun, we were off, and I was pretty much being stampeded from the get-go. I had to do my attention whoring wing flapping at the start and probably almost took out a couple of people. Yes, I’m that guy. Sorry. My legs still kind of feel like bricks but I manage to maintain a respectable pace. I see Tracy up ahead taking some pics near the turn onto Heyward and more wing flapping ensues. I’m looking for my nephew Landon but he must be kicking my ass because I can’t see him anywhere. H is up ahead, and I try and pace with him. Mile 1 was a touch under 7 minutes, so not too bad. Cardio feels great but every step I feel a touch of the Appalachian Trail that turned by legs to hamburger on Saturday. Luckily this course is a typical Shandon rectangle and is pretty flat. We make a turn on Ott and then Duncan, and there’s a nice cheering section out there with Jeff Godby and the boy scouts, as well as Drew Soltau. Speaking of Drews, Drew Williams is in a different area code because he is way out of my sight. We finally make a turn on Bonham and head back on Wilmot. It’s a long stretch, but my legs are feeling marginally better. I have to navigate through the crowd a bit butkeep Silent H just a few paces ahead. Mile 2 comes back right at 7 minutes. I figure I can probably make it one mile on fumes, so I decide to ramp up the pace near my non-Turkey 5k effort. I catch up to H and this other guy in a turkey costume. I mean I can’t be SECOND turkey, right? I forget that we don’t go straight home but circle back towards Heyward. Ugh. At least we can see the rest of the pack there and it was good to get some encouragement. More turkey flapping at the Heyward turn for Tracy. I know there’s about half a mile from there, so the blue shoe kick starts getting engaged. At Hand Middle, I can see the finish, so I start really blasting it out. Now, I’m not sure if he passed me or I caught up and he ran faster, but Eric Gilfus and I suddenly get into a hard-core pissing match for the ages at the finish. I am blasting it out, but I’ll be damned, I had nothing left. finished a step ahead of me.  Crossed the finish in 21:17, with a nice 6:30ish last mile. I ‘ll take it. Also, first in age group! Trophy hunt still (somewhat) successful. Age group awards were the awesome turkey trophies, and once gain CRC won the team event. PRETZELS FOR ALL. And I even found by turkey head at home. It was a good day.

Gilfus giving the Turkey a basting.

In the overall, Hunter Jarvis , as expected, cruised to a 15:32, over a minute clear of the field. Brock Moreaux and Brandt Boggs were 2nd and 3rd . Karolina Iznerowicz was top female, running an impressive 17:51. Ashley Holman crushed a new PR in 19:14 for 2nd and another masters beast Nora Dragovic was 3rd. 

Drew Williams recovered nicely and rocked a sub 19 with an 18:55, first male masters. Wesley Sawyer was only a few steps behind in 18:59. Brad Batchelder was 3rd in 19:10.  In female masters, Marylander non-actress Meg Ryan won 1st , with Shannon Godby 2nd and Amy Hulion 3rd. 

Female age group honor roll: Cooper “HONEYBADGER” Robbins won the 11-14 a day after winning her AG on Thanksgiving day at BGCM. Two races in two days?…Honey badger don’t care. Sara McFall was 1st in the 35-39 despite being a late turkey victim. Kelly Cox was 3rd in the 40-44. Shelley Rivers was 3rd in the 45-49. Running buddies Shenequa Coles and Angie Thames went 1-2 in the 50-54. Renee McCormick was 2nd in the 60-64. Melody Kreiling, Carol Wallace and Beverly Breuer swept a brutally competitive 65-69. 

Male age group honor roll: Michael Visser slayed the sub 18 dragon and smashed a new PR in 17:54 to win the 25-29. Douglas Nover was 3rd. Brett Martin also destroyed his old PR, breaking the 20 minute barrier in style with a 19:22 to take the 40-44. Joyce says it’s all her doing. Jonathan McFall was 2nd in a blazing 19:31. Christmas came early in the 45-49 with Santa Yerg taking first in 19:39. Sean Higgins, Roy Shelley and Frank Seier swept the 55-59. In the 60-64 age group newbies Joey Swearingen and Jimmy Jarvis finished 2nd and 3rd. Triathlon beast Lorand Batten was 2nd in the 65-69. Jerry Rich and Leeds Barroll were 1st and 3rd in the 70-74. Alex Ponomarev and Richard Wright did the same in the 75-79. The ageless Ron Hagell was second in the 80+. 

JP photography montage by tracy from the newsletter

Special shout out to my family – Landon McDonald, Izzy Martin, Connor Martin, Jen Martin and Jason Martin for joining me out there!

Other notable finishers (this list is definitely not complete but just who I recognized at first glance with over 1026 finishers): Randy Hrechko, Jonathan Kirkwood, Tommy and Cheryl Outlaw, Michael and Amanda Smyrl, Matt Pech, Joey Campbell, Michaela Willoughby, Marty Wentzel, Sophie and Mallie and Ben and Wendy Homeyer, Kana Rahman, Lauren Carpenter, Amy Coward, Karen Vidra-Zug,  Jamie Zug, Dianne Freeman, Patrick McCormick, Lisa Smarr, Heather Srulavich, Margie Shelburg, Bridgette Honor, Ken Lowden, Kelly Dania, Cassidy Carter, Jenny Schneider Jessalyn Smith, Sarah Soltau, Merritt McNelly, Deana Rennick, Pete Poore, Riana Shelley, Jeff Radenbaugh, Amy Hildreth, Rusty Painter, Melinda Waldrop, Michael Beaudet, Missy Caughman, Joanna Holden, Matt and Olivia Buffum. Penny Leitner, Pippa and Penny and Darci Kenagy, Betsy and Lily Theriot and Pamela Griffin. 

 

JFK 50 miler – Boonsboro to Williamsport, MD – 11/22/25

So anyone who even casually knows me, knows I am a 5k guy. I love the speed, the “lay it all out on the course” ethos, crashing through the finish in a ball of fury and sweat. But…I’ve always been a little “ultra-curious”. The genesis of this blog is rooted in me having read reports from ultras like Western States, Javelina, and Leadville. These reports read like some tragicomic novel, full of triumph, redemption and resilience… but also lots of vomiting, pooping and chafing. I figured ultras probably weren’t for me, though I eventually gave into temptation over the years and dabbled in some 50ks and even the Mount Mitchell Challenge (close to 40 miles) . I distinctly remember finishing Mount Mitchell and deciding THIS IS IT. After 7.5 hours I couldn’t fathom running another step. 

 

But then this year rolled around, my 50th on the planet. I got fixated on the idea of running 50 miles to represent the 50 years. Yes, some guys have midlife crises with sports cars and affairs, I just dream of dumb running things. But what 50 miler? I’m a terrible trail runner, and most 50 milers (and ultras in general) are on trails. I also really, really hate multiple loop courses. And that was what led me to the JFK 50. Apparently, President Kennedy was hopeful to promote increased physical fitness across the nation in 1963, and he came up with the gold standard as being able to complete a 50 mile hike. There were several 50 mile events held that year because of this, and even Bobby Kennedy (the original, sane one) finished a 50 mile walk that summer.  The Maryland race that became the JFK 50 was first held in March 1963. As we all know, JFK was sadly assassinated in November of that year and all of the events, save this Maryland one, went away. This became the JFK memorial 50 mile hike and run in 1964 and morphed into the event it is today, which is now considered the oldest and largest ultramarathon in the world. Although I love the history, I saw that the race had a cool hybrid point-to-point course, with part Appalachian Trail (15.5 miles), part canal towpath (26.4 miles) and roads (8.4 at the finish, 2.5 at the start). PERFECT. I was in, and I somehow hooked Drew Williams in as well. We both signed up at midnight on March 1, with the race date in November.

Of course, it’s only fitting that the nagging knee pain that I had been dealing with for a couple of weeks exploded into a full-on injury in the weeks to come. Like a typical obsessive runner, I tried to deny that I was hurt and just made it worse. I ended up shutting down my running for a few weeks, having the pain come back, and eventually breaking down and doing the prudent thing of getting physical therapy and an orthopedist to look at it. Luckily it was just quadriceps tendonitis, but I had to shut down the running again, this time for two months. I worked through the physical therapy like a man possessed, and thankfully I was finally able to start running again by mid July. I eased back into it for several weeks, but it wasn’t until mid-August before I was approaching the typical 40ish miles a week to which I am accustomed .  And my long run was a half marathon. I figured the 50 miler was absolutely out, but I still kept the hotel registration just in case. The JFK 50 does not allow deferrals or transfers, so the 200 bucks was already gone. So I threw myself into a ridiculously short training plan, basically ramping up my miles and especially amping up the long run. This peaked with a 24 mile run on the Palmetto trail (meant to approximate the flat towpath). At this point, I figured I could maybe make it to the start line and give it a try. Of course in my taper, I developed some toe/sole tightness which raised the unholy specter of plantar fasciitis. I took yet ANOTHER week or so off in my taper, and the foot issue appeared to go away. Still, I was on the fence about pulling the plug on this thing literally until the Sunday before the race. SO ..TL/DR = I WAS EXCEPTIONALLY UNDERPREPARED. 

 

The start line for the race is in the tiny town of Boonsboro, Maryland, so myself, Drew and Tracy made the 7.5 hour drive up on Thursday. I figured I was going to need a day to recover from the car ride and I was definitely right. Tracy was going to crew for us, which was exceptionally nice because a) crewing an ultra is not fun and b) it was her birthday on Friday. Having a crew is not usually vital, but having someone to deliver road shoes after the trail part was critical for me at least. In addition to Drew and I , Tanner Lybrand, Duane Kimball, Michael Nance and Ken Hinely were also there to represent Columbia at the race. 

 

THE START

There’s a ten minute stroll to the start line from the parking area. As per the usual, I am a stew of anxiety. I forgot to stretch out in the hotel room since I was maniacally obsessing over gear and gels and stuff. And of course, the pooping. Drew apparently forgot that memo because he went to find a portapotty and I never saw him again. I also decided to try and hit the start line potties but soon realized the epic line and glacial pace was not going to work out with the 6:30 start. I went ahead to the line and stood about 20 meters back, hopefully in front enough to avoid the masses but not too far to be caught up with the David Sinclairs and Hans Troyers. I had one major goal – JUST FINISH, though I had hoped to finish in daylight and avoid the so-called “vest of shame” for the evening finishers. But hell, I’d take a 12:59:59 if I had to. 

THE ROADS (2.5 miles)

With the start, it feels great to finally be moving. The first 2.5 miles are on paved roads leading out of Boonsboro, rolling hills. It feels like a typical marathon until after a roundabout and then the climb begins. The net elevation gain is 1172 feet in the race and almost all of this is in the first 5.5 miles. It’s still kind of dark and there’s a pretty thick fog, so it’s hard to see how bad this mountain is. Fortunately, we had scoped it out the day before and saw that it was indeed pretty brutal. Tanner and Drew, who apparently had been portpottying it until the last second, caught up with me and we ran together for a bit. But I was starting to get pretty winded and I was super afraid of wrecking myself only two miles in. I started walking for a bit, but then I got scared of getting caught behind hundreds of people  in a conga line on the singletrack trail. I started shuffling again and luckily the next bend was the trail entrance at 2.5 miles. I ducked into the portapotty and managed the world’s quickest pee stop. 

 

THE APPALACHIAN TRAIL (15.5 miles)

After the tough climb to the trail, we lose some elevation and then start climbing again. And yeah, this is when I wish I had trained on trails. I am all over the place and there’s rocks everywhere.  What’s worse is my foot feels tight and I’m thinking the plantar is going to flare up again, and it’s barely 4 miles in. I start thinking about where it might be good to drop if I have to, but there aren’t many options until the Weverton cliffs at the end. We mercifully get dumped out on a road for a couple of miles, but this isn’t much help because the incline has gotten even worse. I end up walk/jogging most of the road. Finally the road ends, and we enter the trail again at one of the most technical downhill sections. There’s a brief clogging with everybody going super slow on these tight switchbacks, but it soon releases out for more climbing. There’s the first aid station near there and I take one of my gels. I am terrible at the mental math involved in the carbs/salt/calories equation of long run nutrition, so I figure I’ll just use the aid stations as reminder to refuel. We finally hit the top of the climb at the White Mountain overlook, just over 5.5 miles. I suppose there was some scenery there, but I’m still laser focused on keeping upright on the trail. SO MANY ROCKS. I think I went through the full Kubler-Ross grief cycle about the rocks , first with denial, anger , bargaining and depression, but finally ended up accepting them. I made a point of landing my tight foot on the pointy ones and it seemed to help. I started thinking of songs to play in my head (fyi, no headphones allowed at the JFK) and decided to think of every rock centric song I could think of, with my preferred ones being “ROCK you like a hurricane” and “For those about to ROCK, we salute you”. Anything to take my mind off the growing fatigue in my legs. I was able to run most of the AT section, with limited walksies. The only other aid station was at mile 9.3 and featured an ever so brief moment in a grassy field. I took another gel and pounded some Gatorade and water. I made a prophylactic portapotty trip, but it was a false alarm. The next 6 miles were largely a blur, but it seemed the rocks were marginally less and there wasn’t much elevation change. The legs were already getting heavy, and I apologize to my fellow runners for the Tourette’s like F^&ks I kept shouting whenever I didn’t lift my legs and almost tripped. Finally, we hit some super steep declining switchbacks, and I knew we had to be at Weverton Cliffs, the end of the trail. I could hear a huge crowd somewhere down below, but it seemingly took forever to get there. Fortunately, I was far enough up in the field to avoid the totally clogged conga line I saw in some of the YouTube videos of the race. It was so sweet to see the last few steps and hit pavement for the first time in ten miles. Went through the AT mat at about 3:05.

 

THE TOWPATH

There’s a massive amount of noise and support at the Weverton aid station and I was pretty jacked to be through with (what I thought) was the weakest part of my race. Tracy was there with my shoes, and I switched out like I was doing a sprint triathlon. She said Drew and Tanner were about 10 minutes ahead of me, so I was glad they were doing well. Of course, the first part of the next section is actually MORE TRAIL as you pass through some forest, under a highway and over a railroad track. At some point I grabbed half a PBJ sandwich because, obviously, I was so dialed in on my nutrition. I thought it would be fantastic to jump on the Chesapeake and Ohio canal towpath, but it was exactly the opposite. Yes, it was nice cushy flat ground, but I soon realized I had absolutely trashed my legs on the AT. I mean, I was having trouble maintaining 10-minute pace and I saw my heart rate was in the 140s even shuffling like I was. I was also desperately trying not to think of the monumental task ahead of me. It was going to be a full marathon on this path, not to mention 35 miles to the finish, and I was struggling at mile 1. Damn, I should have worked on my trail legs. I eventually just stopped and told myself to walk it out for a bit and get this heart rate down. It worked, and when my HR was around 100 I started my shuffle again. I decided I was going to have to break this part into about 8 5ks, which is roughly the distance between each of the aid stations. Early on, I would shuffle to an aid station and walk for a while, dining on the unique smorgasbord of JFK aid station food. Among other things, I recall shots of pickle juice, potatoes, chicken broth, corn dog bites, grilled cheese sandwiches. I ate all of these things. I chewed on salt tablets and took gels with caffeine. It sounds awful now, but these things kept me going. I felt like I was the DeLorean at the end of Back to the Future where they just dump food in the food processor as fuel. Luckily, I have an iron clad stomach. I hit a low point around mile 28, made worse by seeing Drew sitting down. His knee was swollen, and he had been there a while. He was in great shape for this race and had peaked perfectly, but the Appalachian Trail takes no prisoners, and he had tweaked the knee somewhere on that rocky nightmare. Sadly, he had to drop. I soldiered on, but it took me a long time to start running again. Around this time, the trail damage to my legs had worn off a little, though now the sheer volume of miles was making things tough. I mean, I was well over a marathon, and I hadn’t done an ultra since 2018 or so. Fortunately, the on course support is amazing at JFK and helped me get through. There was Mr. Incredible, and the people out playing music. I do appreciate the guy fast forwarding through “Another one bites the dust” on his playlist as I approached. My favorite was the guy blasting Led Zeppelin from the top of the other side of the Potomac. When you don’t have headphones, you need something to break the monotony of 26 miles on a flat path. There was an older guy that I saw at a couple of aid stations that seemed to look into my soul when yelling out encouraging words, and I kept wondering if he was a hallucination. Dark point number 2 was definitely the “38 special” aid station. I was just wrecked, and the idea of 12 more miles seemed next to impossible. I shot gunned a pickle juice and a chicken broth and apparently the sodium explosion was enough to keep me going. I was almost done strolling through the station when I realized I was super thirsty. I happened to see a woman with a gallon of water at her feet and I begged her for some. She was more than happy to fill up my bottle, and she probably saved my race then and there. Thanks, Towpath Angel!  After starting to shuffle again, it got quiet on the path, and the sun came out for a while. It was really beautiful, though I may have appreciated it more when I wasn’t 39 miles into a race. There was one rogue portapotty around mile 40 and I stupidly tried to go again. Not only was it a “nonproductive visit” but my quad wanted to cramp up the second I sat down. NOPE. Back out onto the trail. Finally a guy appears and says “see that orange Gatorade sign? THAT’S THE END”. I had a couple of emotional half-teary FU%^K YEAHS and started rocking a blistering 9-minute pace for a bit. I also looked at my second watch and saw 2:48 pm, just 10 minutes under the vest of shame cutoff. YESSSS.  Entire towpath marathon was a brutal 5 hours and 2 minutes, total time was 8:18.

THE ROADS, PART II

Crossing the towpath timer and heading out on to the roads was such a psychological boost. Yes, the Dam 4 road is crazy steep and was definitely walked, but it was the first time when the glimmer of finishing the race began to seep into my brain. Thankfully the organizers have mile markers from the finish starting at 8 miles out. It was a little painful since my garmin had tracked a full mile ahead, but I knew this already. Plus, the course is technically slightly long at 50.2 miles anyway. These roads were no joke. I thought they were pretty flat from the videos I watched, but they were definitely rolling. I was no longer pretending to run for extended periods, just running the downhills and power hiking the ups. There were a few of us leapfrogging each other , and all of us were a little giddy with the prospect this thing may be over soon. I must admit I got passed on the towpath and the roads by all kinds of people I wouldn’t expect. Some woman, who had to be in her 50s, whipped my tail at the mile 4 sign, WITH THE VEST OF SHAME. I was like damn, you go girl, I got nothing. Two more aid stations on the roads, and I was powering through, still eating chips and sucking down more chicken broth. Apparently, my lust for soup knows no bounds in this race. But at least I wasn’t cramping. At some point I realized I was a 5k to the finish, and  debated just walking the rest of the way in, but my pride wouldn’t let me. Around 2 miles out I could hear the interstate, and it gave me a rush of adrenaline. At 1.5 miles I decided to go all in with no more walksies. Make yourself shuffle to the finish. Turning the last corner was more emotional and exciting than Boylston street in Boston. I could see the arch and although the sun was getting low, I was definitely making it there in daylight. I mustered the meekest of kicks and crossed the line in 10 hours and 7 minutes. SO JACKED. I’ve been running for 17 years and I’ve done probably 500ish races, but this one has to be toughest and most rewarding to finish. A great way to wrap up the worst, or perhaps the best, birthday present ever. 

Amongst the Columbia contingent, Ken Hinely led the way with an 8:28. Tanner Lybrand was 2nd in 8:52. Duane was pacing a friend and still nearly caught me after being 40 minutes behind at Weverton, 10:11. Mike Nance was sick and had a rough day but still powered through to finish in 11:37.

Hans Troyer won this thing in 5:10, a 6:10 overall pace. That seems almost as superhuman as Kipchoge’s sub 2 marathon. Just nuts. Watch his Youtube documentary “The Kid” for a great look at what makes this dude tick. Jade Belzberg was the women’s winner in 6:07, also absolutely insane. 

Special thanks to motivationtheoryrunning, messin’ with zacksquatch and Great cove running TV for their amazing YouTube videos of the race, which I watched obsessively.  Thanks as well to Tracy for crewing this thing on her birthday weekend –  I owe her one. 

Overall , this race is incredibly well done and I can’t recommend it enough. I mean, not that I’ll do it again. But check back in a few weeks…

 

https://connect.garmin.com/modern/activity/21064020889

 

JFK 50 miler | Run | Strava

Nightmare in Elmwood 5k – Columbia, SC – 10/25/25

The Nightmare in Elmwood 5k started up in 2022 to benefit the Elmwood Park Neighborhood Association, and it’s already a Blue Shoes favorite. I mean, I already love racing in costumesfor any reason, and this event actually encourages it, so what’s not to love?

Of course, the key question is WHAT COSTUME? After finding my favorite outfit of all time last year, William Wallace of Braveheart, I had to find something that was at least almost as good. I spent a ridiculously long time researching costumes for this year. The ideal costume is at least somewhat runnable, but most of the best outfits are questionable in their friendliness towards blasting out a quick 5k. I mean I have a great “Duke from Bridgerton” costume, but damned if I’m going to haul ass in 18th century British formalwear. After I scrolled through a few hundred outfits, I found it: Luke Skywalker training with Yoda in a backpack.

I mean a) it’s from one of my favorite childhood movies (Return of the Jedi) b) Luke is actually running and training in this outfit in the movie c) everyone loves Star Wars and d) my kids favorite youtube video of all time is Bad Lip Reading’s version of the Luke-Yoda scene. I’ve probably seen it a hundred times. PERFECT.

https://youtu.be/U9t-slLl30E?si=6qCcx-hpUllpjr3W

Less than perfect, on top of the ridiculous price, was when I finally got the costume a week later. It involved multi-stepinstructions, and I basically had to build a Yoda supported by metal rods. Initially, it looked like Yoda had received blunt trauma to the head, so I had to carefully pack his “brain” with enough plastic so it would fill out his rubber cranium. All the metal wasn’t exactly light either. Plus, despite the weight and expense of the thing, the backpack straps holding it together looked like something that might be on a preschooler’s hello kitty bookbag. I was definitely going to have to find a better way to secure this thing. Luckily, tying strategically placed knots seemed to hold it in place. At least I hoped. It wasn’t like I was going to test run this thing out in the neighborhood. They already think I’m nuts for running in every conceivable weather condition. The NextDoor Karens would definitely be posting about rubber Yodas. 

 

So, my maiden run would have to be on race day. I got there an hour early, and the primary parking lot was already full. Dang, this race has gotten popular. Fortunately, it was pretty cold ,maybe high 40s, so running in my long Luke pants wouldn’t be too awful. I did a quick quarter mile warmup. It felt like it might be a little bouncy with the backpack, and maybe some arm chafing and…CLANK. I look back, and while Yoda’s cranium was intact, he had now endured massive spinal trauma. As in,his head had basically fallen off. DAMMIT THIS CAN’T HAPPEN. Fortunately, I was able to perform roadside jedi master neurosurgery by slamming Yoda’s head into his neck post. I think it clicked. Crisis averted. I can only imagine what I looked like to any bystanders. Later, Roy joined me for some more warmup miles. I soon realized I was already chafing on my shoulders and President Shelley offered me some of his Body glide. Again, I can’t imagine the visual of two men lubing up the arms and backpack of a giant Luke Skywalker and rubber Yoda. Talk about a nightmare.

At the start, there’s a crazy amount of people and costumes. Erin said there was like 700 signed up. That’s nuts for the fourth year of a race. It looked like quite a few fast people up near the front including Douglas Nover and Michael Visser doing a double dip with Go Leo Go 5k earlier that morning. (I later found out that Douglas, Margie Shelburg, Ashleigh Carpenter and Lauren Carpenter all TRIPLE dipped with the Law Dog run that night – wow.) Shawanna (dressed as Amy Rose from Sonic the Hedgehog) and Ashley Graham (as Rumi from Kpop Demon Hunters) were sure to battle it out for the women’s title.Unfortunately I was not cool enough to know who either of these characters were, though the costumes were amazing.While I was fairly certain my costume would be a challenge, it was nothing compared to Heather Hawn’s inflatable green alien or Andy Mikula’s inflatable Gizmo (from Gremlins). Those things are difficult to see out of much less run in. 

Andy the mogwai and Heather the alien

As per usual, everyone takes off like a bat out of hell at the start. Especially when you turn onto Park Street and plummet down a mountain. I wonder how many of these guys know you have toclimb this mountain at the end?  I was just trying to remain upright since Yoda was bouncing all over the place and I was afraid of him, or possibly me, breaking my neck. As soon as you hit the bottom of the hill you end up coming back up on Lincoln and weave your way through the Elmwood neighborhood.  I have to say the Elmwood people go all out for Halloween. Most of the houses are decorated to the hilt and the crowd support is amazing for a local 5k. Eventually, you get dumped out right near the Elmwood street overpass and, fittingly, head to the cemetery entrance.

PICS from JP PHOTOGRAPHY, Montages assembled by Tracy Tisdale in the Columbia Running Club newsletter.

I was feeling decent about my costume pace (7:30) until I saw I was getting my ass beat by a giant pickle (Micah Simonsen). Fortunately, the course is mostly level in the middle with an out and back on the paved trail to Finley Park. Yoda is finally staying put and I’m able to ramp up the speed some. I struggle a little with a middle-aged looking Richard Simmons and manage to pass him. I figure masters is probably out of my reach, but hopefully I can score an age group.

Not sure if the temperature had risen a lot since my arrival, but the Luke pants are killing me by this point. The turnaround at the park feels good to be headed back home, plus, you get to see the whole field behind you, which is fun. Mile 2 was slightly faster in 7:11, with the marker just before you hit the Elmwood overpass again. Luckily you get to skip the cemetery out-and-back coming home. I’m feeling pretty good at this point, so I try and kick it in some in the last mile. I sidle up next to some young dude, who realizes it’s an old fat man with a yoda pack, and he surges back ahead.

OK, bro, we will see. Sure enough, we make that next-to-last turn onto Park and hit that killer hill. It’s short, but really steep. I punch it in to full kick mode and leave the kid behind. I hadn’t been going that hard before but now I’m holding on to my backpack for dear life, Yoda’s neurologic integrity be damned. One last turn and I blast out whatever I had left, making sure I posed for the photographer of course. Kicked through the finish in 22:26. A few seconds later the kid comes through and deposits his breakfast next to me on a tree. Nothing like the shame of getting beaten by a 50-year-oldchunky costumed dude AND getting the post-race pukes. I loved it, because I am a terrible person. I missed masters thanks to the Yerg and Pickle boy but I was able to pick up 1st in age group. Plus, I got one of the popcorn bags for top costumes. Given that I’m in the middle of JFK 50 training, and my general tendency towards gluttony, I’ll probably eat it all myself.

In the overall, Dr Mark Kushinka took the win in 17:30 over Ryan Schaffer and Demetris McCray – all under 18 minutes. In the women’s race, Ashley Graham took home the win in 19:34 with Lizzie Bird 2nd and Shawanna White 3rd.  Women’s masters top 3 (with Shawanna going to overall) was Ronda Sanders, Lindsay Nimmo and Kelly Cox. Rob Yerger, Wes Sawyer and Micah Simonsen took the male masters podium.

Age group honor roll, women: Hayden Hall and Lauren Carpenter (purple m&m) were 2nd and 3rd in the 15-19. Michaela Willoughby won the 25-29. Meredith Frye won the 30-34. Korinne Collins (blue crayon) was 1st and Lucretia Collins (skeleton) were 1st and 3rd in the 35-39. Ashleigh Carpenter(green m&m) was 2nd in the 40-44. Katharine Myers won the 45-49.  Rita Hipp and Joanna Holden were 1-2 in the 50-54. Lynda Leonardi was 2nd and Sara Wilcox 3rd in the 55-59. Rosa Creech was 3rd in the 60-64. Mary Cassidy on the 65-69. Helene Lipe, Eileen Korpita and Diane Freeman won the 70-74/.

Age group honor roll, men: Douglas Nover was 1st and Michael Visser (Sonic) 3rd in a brutally competitive 25-29. Jeffrey Campbell and Jon Baysden were top 2 in the 45-49. Brett Looker (Richard Simmons) and Michael Smyrl were 2-3 in the 50-54. Roy Shelley won the 55-59. Joey Swearingen, Phil Smith and Son Nguyen swept the 60-64. Lorand Batten was 3rd in the 65-69. George Cassidy and Jerry Rich were 1st and 3rd in the 70-74, and Ron Hagell and Rich Wright took top 2 in the 75+. 

Other notable finishers:

Betsy Theriot, Bruce Edmonds (Kenny Powers) , Marty Wentzel, Jonathan Kozer, Amanda Smyrl, Mary Kate Korpita, Todd Derrick, Stephanie Hauser, Marcus Cunningham (Dr. Robotnik), Sarah Soltau (black cat), Kana Rahman (yellow crayon), Makenzie Wilt, Clara Beaudet (batgirl), Michael Beaudet, Gabriella Swearingen, Wendy Homeyer, Missy Caughman, Deana Rennick (strawberry shortcake), Melinda Waldrop, Stephanie Mosher, Cassidy Carter (avocado) , Andy Mikula (Gizmo), Pete Poore, Jenny Schneider (orange m&m), Ted Creech, Nicki Charlton (evil minion), Rosa Creech , Jennifer Reeves, Ron Lipe, Heather Herndon, Margie Shelburg and Kerry Stubbs.

PICS from JP PHOTOGRAPHY, Montages assembled by Tracy Tisdale in the Columbia Running Club newsletter.

Run With All Your Heart 5k – USC School of Medicine – 9/20/25

The Run with All Your Heart 5k is a race created by the Future Leaders of Medicine group at USC School of Medicine and goes to fund a charity which fights pediatric cancer (Curing Kids Cancer). It was originally run around Segra Park, but they recruited Erin Roof and GRIT endurance and moved the venue to the School of Medicine campus. As a former med student myself, it’s always fun to come back to the old stomping grounds. I honestly have no idea how these kids manage the informational firehose of med school and find time to manage a road race in their spare time. But maybe I was just lazy.

But I’m glad they got GRIT involved. The last time I remember med students putting on a race was the old Strides for Health, in like 2010. The race course was kind of chaotic and it was a minor miracle we stayed on the non-certified route. The med student director thought a) it was a great idea to run it in June and b) run the race himself despite being the director too. Being a typical med student overachiever, he went all out and then everybody got to practice their EMT skills as he passed out and required an ambulance to take him away.  Fortunately, he was ok, but damn, dude.

But Erin was sure to avoid that epic cluster from happening again. The new race has actually been run pretty smoothly, though the med student directed years featured “top 2 overall” awards and nothing else. I was assured there would be standard 3 deep this year. Packet pickup was at Craft and Draft, and while there wasn’t free beer, at least I couldn’t complain with a portion of the proceeds going towards Curing Kids Cancer. Plus, it was a step up from the 1980s American macrobrew vibe of Nightcaps. However, I did miss the nostalgia of cigarette vending machines and Miller light.

Showing up on race day, things were not looking good. It was ridiculously hot. After a couple of weekends with temps barely clearing 60 in the morning, Saturday was 71 when I got there an hour early. After a Friday dinner of tikka masala, a couple of IPAs and a night of trash sleeping, my warmup turned into a combo of 11-minute slog jog miles and a game of find an open bathroom. Sadly, my 1998 student ID didn’t work on the other med school entrances, so I was forced to use the regular bathrooms for the race.  Ugh. They even had a med student volunteer blocking the hallway to go further into the building. I thought about exercising my inexhaustible privilege and entitlement to push past him but decided against it. I do have poop performance anxiety with people waiting though. I’ll put it in the next DSM.

I did a couple of miles with Lady Godby and although the course seemed pretty flat, I was already soaked in sweat. Damn you Summer, part III. There was a huge crowd at the start and lots of Hammond XC runners, so I was already working myself up in a Debbie Downer funk about not even winning anything. But hey, usually I feel like trash at the start of what ends up being a really good race.

With the gun, all the kids take off like a bat out of hell, and we begin a winding route through the campus behind the main building. I’m not more than a quarter mile in and I feel like an absolute wreck. The sun is beating down, my legs feel like brick, the whole nine yards. Everyone is ahead of me, including Artis, who appears he’s going to make this the day he finally beats his geriatric-giant-headed-chunky-boy nemesis.

We then get thrown out onto Byron rd. which is essentially flat and straight. I kind of mail it in for a while, settling in behind Shannon, hoping I’ll catch my breath and feel better. Mile one in 6:26, so basically right at 20-minute pace, which isn’t too bad. The problem is, I just want to quit. Heart rate is too high and I’m really laboring for some reason. I assume it’s the heat. JLybrand is out on a corner with her kids so I decide I can’t bail out in front of them.

Finally, we make it to the turnaround on Parrott avenue and head back on Wordsworth. I manage to draw even with Shannon and maybe I can justify dropping out at 2 miles if I make it that far. We get back onto Byron, which is a little bit of a psychological boost and I zone out for a bit until mile 2 chirps back at 6:37. I feel terrible but I, incorrectly, think I may be first male masters, so I soldier on. The heat is awful, and I am sucking a lot of wind. I can see Artis way up ahead and I’m already thinking of how happy he’ll be to finally kick my ass. But hold the phone… I may me gaining on him just a bit. No, it’s probably me hallucinating in my half-delirium. I start to see the front of the pack turn back into the campus ahead. I’m off in la la land again for a while, and then I see McFall is still ahead of me. I swear I thought I passed him back. And Artis is definitely starting to get reeled in.

Dammit, I’m going to hate myself if I don’t give it a try. As soon as we hit the campus, I throw down hard. And man it hurts. I can tell McFall is probably out if reach, but every step I’m gaining on Mr. Love. I ramp it up to full Blue Shoe kick mode and blast by him near the parking garage. I’m so wrecked that I am not 100 percent sure I can keep this up for the only 200 meters or so left. Luckily the course is completely flat and falls down a notch heading into the chute area. I blast through the finish in 20:14 and immediately make sweet love to the grass nearby. HR was 180 according to Garmin at the finish, so I suppose I took the race’s name very literally. Not my best, but it was all I had on a crap day, so I will take it. Good enough for 2nd masters, 10th overall. Cool plates for overall winners and cups for age groupers. But the best prize is another few weeks of living rent-free in Artis’ head. 

In the overall, David Chen crushed a 17:25 for the win, with Charlie Krause 2nd. Michael “FLYING V” Visser claimed 3rd in a PR 18:02 after just getting a PR at Light Up for Leah the night before. On the ladies’ side, Sofia Baker, Emme Crosland and Simone Handfield swept the podium. Women’s masters winners were Shawanna White, just a second off the overall podium, with Shannon Godby second. Amy Magee was 3rd.  Jonathan McFall whipped my tail for first male masters and Jerry Vaca was 3rd.

Female age groupers: Sara McFall won the 35-39, with Amanda Smyrl 3rd. Ashleigh Carpenter won the 40-44. Noel Schuch won the 50-54 with Clara Beaudet 3rd. Sherry Fadel won the 55-59. Lisa Powell won the 60-64. Lisa Smarr and Margie Shelburg went 1-2 in the 65-69. Martha Aultman won the 75+.

Male age groupers: Finn Jaworek was 2nd in the 10-15. Artis Love won the 30-34 in 20:29. Antjuan Seawright was 2nd in the 40-44. Jon Baysden and Patrick Hall went 1-2 in the 45-49. Michael Smyrl was 2nd and Michael Beaudet 3rd in the 50-54. Phil Smith was 2nd in the 60-65 in his comeback and Son Nguyen 3rd .  Lorand Batten won the 65-69. Gerald Harmon, Robbie McClam and Pete Poore won the 70-75. Richard Wright won the 75+

Notable finishers: Jim Fadel, Hayden Hall, Rusty Painter, Cassidy Carter, Drew Dickerson, Sarah Soltau, Wendy Homeyer, Nicki Charlton, Maddie Homeyer, Ben Homeyer, Heather Herndon and Mikki Barthelemy. Please let me know if I forgot anyone -drachtungbaby@yahoo.com

Pics from JP photograpy, collages by Tracy Tisdale in the CRC newsletter

Springdale 5k – Camden, SC – 9/6/25


The Springdale 5k has been a mainstay on the Blue Shoes calendar since its inception in 2009. It started out an evening race (Springdale at Sunset 5k) in late August, run entirely on the grass horse track used for the Colonial Cup. Apparently, the original directors neglected to understand that August evenings in the Midlands are exceedingly unpleasant for running , and oh yeah, no one mows the grass in the horse racing off season. I high-stepped through ankle-length grass and about died in 95-degree heat in that first race. For those interested, there is a video on YouTube. My Sasquatch ass lumbers through around the 23-minute mark, desperately blue shoeing Chad Long with a race face for the ages.

Fortunately, Erin took over this race several years later and moved it a few weeks later, on the roads and in the morning. While lacking the uniqueness factor of the horse track, it was a hell of a lot easier to run.  Easier, but not easy though.  It runs through a neighborhood called Kirkover HILLS, so this should be your first red flag. The course is a simple loop but basically drops you down for a mile and a half, and then climbs you right back up. I will say the way back up is more gradual, but it’s pretty relentless. Definitely not a course you want to blast out hard in the beginning. At least there’s a waffle bar at the finish and golden horse trophies to ease your pain. This course is tough but generally plays to my negative split favor.  Especially in 2021 when the top 3 dudes blew through a turn and left me behind to win the overall. Hey, I take holy grails any way I can get them. Just don’t ask Eric Masaitis or Steve Greer about it. Too soon.

 

So, this is race number 4 on the Blue Shoes comeback trail. It’s been a fat boy summer, so while the quad is mostly better, the food baby is still gestating. I’ve managed to drop my times from 21:22 to 20:08 in the last few weeks, so maybe there’s hope. I knew this race was not going to be fast with the course, so I was aiming to maybe make the masters podium. I show up an hour early and I am in full Debbie Downer mode. The second faux fall we were having gave way to third summer and it’s already 70 degrees at 7 am. Fabulous. Also, Friday night IPAs and whatever the hell I had for dinner are wreaking a category 5 colonic hurricane. I did my mile warmup trot and had thoroughly convinced myself this was going to be a disaster. Wah wah.

But as I made my way to the start, there were no elite guys to be found. A few kids and some young frat bro looking dudes, but no Jarvis types. Damn, I wish I wasn’t injured and fat. Shannon and Shawanna are on hand to battle it out for the women’s race. TONS of CRCers out there. The CRC team, captained by Margie Shelburg, stood at 41 at last check. We already had the team win in the bag, despite a valiant effort from the huge Clyburn family, who had over 30 runners.

The start of this race is pretty nuts. It’s flat down Knights Hill rd before turning right on Carter Street for a plunge down a mountain. Frat dudes take an early lead with Shawanna close behind. Shannon passes me and a bunch of young guys. There is one dude with a touch of grey in his hair and I latch on to him and Lady Godby. I’m pretty terrible at downhills and the early going of races in general, so this is rough for me. I start picking up Debbie Downer vibes and keep thinking about how we’re all going to have to make up this ground on the way back. We finally turn right off of Carter Street and mile 1 comes back in 6:21. Yikes. It is downhill, but now I’m afraid I’ve overcooked it. I’m still running in a pretty big pack at this time. I can still make out the leader ahead, but I’m probably sitting probably 8-10th place, which definitely opens the door for some rogue 40 year old to steal my old man glory.  Mile 2 is largely at the bottom of the hill and I’m just trying to keep pace with everyone else. We pass the fateful turn of 2021 and here we go up the hill again. It’s clear to me a lot of these guys didn’t know the course because all of a sudden, the pack is dropping like flies. I pull up even with Masterish guy and he latches on me like a caboose. To be fair, my chunky boy physique is great to draft off of. Mile 2 is 6:42, so an expected slowdown. I don’t feel terrible though, and it feels good to be making ground against the field. My pre-race slog jog was a half mile out-and-back from the finish, so pretty soon I can see the turnaround point of the warmup. I start ramping up the pace, but then I realized I was wrong. I was well over a half mile out. Oh well, I already pushed the chips in, so here goes. I start flailing away and my good feeling from mile 2 goes out the window. But there is a masters dude on my tail and I can’t let him take me down. Jennfer Ward and Betsy Long are leading a cheering section and taking pics, so I of course have to momentarily pose for them. I manage to catch Shawanna, Shannon and some guy in a football jersey in the span of about 100 meters, but I can’t shake the feeling that masters guy is lurking just behind me. Suddenly I realize I’m also holding down 3rd with number 2 just up ahead. I try to crank it up another notch, but the heart and lungs aren’t having it. Finally, I see the horse crossing sign and the little library, my signs that we’re at the last turn. I blast out whatever I have into my kick, hoping my pics won’t be too horrible. Crossed the line in 20:28 and hit the grass immediately. Totally gassed. But hey, I will take a 3rd place and an overall podium any day.

 

In the overall, 21-year-olds Jordan Greenblatt (19:25) and Coleman Bland (20:19) finished 1st and 2nd.  Shannon Godby and Shawanna White were tops on the women’s podium, with Sarah Carroway 3rd.  Top male masters were John Campolongo, Nathan McKinney and Whitney Keen. Women’s masters winners included Nikki Barthelemy, Ronda Sanders and Rita Hipp.

Ladies’ age group honor roll: Hayden Hall won the 15-19, while Jennifer Carruth won the 30-34. Jennifer Thomas won the 35-39 , with Amanda Smyrl 3rd. Ashley Carpenter was champ of the 40-44.  Amanda Holland was 3rd in the 45-49. Shenequa Coles and Angie Thames were first and third in the 50-54. Colleen Towery, Lisa Powell and Torill Nelson won the 60-64. Melody Kreling, Beverly Breuer and Lisa Smarr swept the 65-69. Helene Lipe was champion of the 70-74.

Men’s age group honor roll:  Antjuan Seawright and Nic Collins were 1-2 in the 40-44. Michael Smyrl, Drew Dickerson and Michael Beaudet swept the 50-54. Tony Yarborough, Clay Ham and Joe Roof claimed the 60-64. Lorand Batten was 2nd in the 65-69. George Cassidy and Pete Poore were 1-2 in the 70-74. Alex Ponomarev was 3rd in the 75+.

Notable Finishers: Cotton Carroway, Clara Beaudet, Paul Laymon, Lance Towery, Mary Cassidy, Teresa Shelton, Deana Rennick, Hou-Yin Chang, Rich Wright, Nicki Charlton, Traci Smith, Heather Herndon, Jennifer Reeves, Jamie Zug, Karen Vidra-Zug,  Ron Lipe and Margie Shelburg.

 

 Rosewood Crawdaddy Dash – Columbia, SC – 5/3/25

The Crawdaddy Dash is associated with the Rosewood Crawfish Festival, an event put on by the Rosewood Merchants Association to raise money for their group and the neighborhood in general.  The Dash is a rarity – a zombie race resurrected from the dead. It got its start in the early 2010s and lasted for several years. This was my favorite era of the festival, featuring washed up 90s bands reliving their glory years. Also good for aging middle-aged dads doing the same. I may or may not have been drunkly fangirling Everclear in the first row in 2015. But the race kind of petered out and died around 2019. Luckily, Erin Roof and GRIT came along to conjure the ghosts of 5ks past and the new Dash restarted in 2024. The course was the same and the start/finish (and Friday packet pickup) was at the Hunter Gatherer Hangar, so what wasn’t to love? I was asked to revive the infamous crawdaddy boxers, my “costume” from the early years of the race. Jury is still out whether they promote the race or drive people away. 

Last year’s revival was a success, but I was concerned about this year, as there were literally five Tour de Columbia races on the same day. Luckily, between CRC single and double dippers and some advertising, the event still had about 350 registered. Not too shabby. Must’ve been the boxers, obviously. 

2017ish
2018

I showed up to the race my typical hour in advance and briefly considered pulling an entitled parking spot, but the shame from True to the Brew was still fresh. No hi-vis vest guys, but I figured City Roots or somebody might have my car towed. So I hoofed it from Memorial Stadium a (gasp) quarter mile away. I still tried to negotiate a prime memorial stadium toilet, but it appeared the powers-that-be knew intrepid poopers would be on the loose. The place was locked up tight. Oh well, still plenty of portapotties at the actual start/finish. I had opted for the race shirt to go with my boxers, but again I had failed to look at the weather. Almost 70 degrees and humid. I considered changing into a  singlet, but I couldn’t deny the perfect color coordination of the boxer crawdads and the race shirt. Alas, I must suffer for my art.

Melinda’s photo with Deana

After carpet bombing the portapotty, I surveyed the field. Looked like a pretty fast group. Much to my masters and age group chagrin, bionic 45-year-old David Abel and veteran 49 year old beast Phil Midden were there, likely detonating any chance I had at a masters trophy. Of course, even my age group was questionable, since my gimpy knee has trashed the last two months of training. At least March had aged me up to 50 so now my competition was a little easier.

Credit: JP photography

After multiple start line selfies for full effect, we were off. This race is all about navigating the first mile. It’s almost all uphill, though it sets you up for a gloriously downhill second mile and fairly flat third.  Coming out of the blocks, my knee is still a little tight, so I debate back and forth whether to mail this one in or go all out. I kind of split the difference and choose something comfortably hard.  The climb to Rosewood is no joke, especially that little bump as you turn left on Holly in front of the park. The rest of the way up is fairly shady and I reminisce about the one Rosewood house with the wonderful “herbal” parties of 1995. Ah, memories.. I get knocked back into reality as we hit Rosewood and back out into the blazing sun. At least it’s flat. I hit mile 1 in 7:05, which is about a minute off what I’d like to be doing, but it’s been a fat boy spring. Rosewood is flattish to downhill, but the real roller coaster begins on Ott. It’s just a freefall all the way to Owens field. I turn to my gravitational advantage and start my butt rolling down the mountain. I had been chasing Artis, but now I’m gaining on him and yep, he’s getting passed again. I live rent free in Mr. Love’s head, and I just renewed the lease. Mile 2 is just before the Live Oak rd. cross street, 6:40ish split. I feel ok at this point and the knee is loose, but Ott bottoms out at Jim Hamilton Blvd for that long stretch to the finish. While it looks fairly flat, it is slightly uphill, and that sun is out with a vengeance. Any good vibes of mile 2 go out the window pretty quickly. I can see the YERG up ahead and I try to mount a chase. Pace is getting hotter but so is the oven that is this cotton race shirt. Damn my exquisite fashion sense. I try to blast a blue shoes kick but my gimp legs and food baby belly are vetoing that decision. Comfortably hard becomes headless chicken pretty fast though as I make the turn and still see the 20s on the clock. Alas, it is not to be. All the years of teasing Tyler McGaha (where are you, Tyler??) about his “blackjack” 5ks comes back to haunt me. The house wins, and I go over – 21:02. But hey, the knee feels ok and I’m in one piece, so I will take it. Luckily David and Phil are so damn fast they placed 2nd and 3rd overall, leaving the rest of us for masters scraps. I got 2nd behind the Yerg, so happy with that. The overall/masters awards are super nice crawdad stenciled pottery plates made by Jessica Hall, wife of Pat. Thanks, Jessica!

 

Overall/masters trophy

In the male overall, Jamie Sires took the win in 16:42 over masters beasts David Abel (17:10) and Phil Midden (18:05). Ashley Graham took the women’s win in 19:46, with Sierra Jaeger 2nd and Emily Hernandez 3rd.  In female masters, Nikki Barthelemy took the win with Rebecca Goings 2nd and the ageless Carol Wallace 3rd. In male masters, Robert Yerger was the champion.

 

Female age group honor roll: Julia Ghering was 2nd in the 25-29. Sarah Carroway was tops in the 35-39. Lauren Duck was champion of the 40-44. Brie McGrievy won the 45-49, while Deana Rennick and Melinda Waldrop went 1-3 in the 50-54. Coleen Strasburger told me she was number 1 at the finish and indeed claimed the 60-64. Beverly Breuer, Margaret Ghering (Julia’s mom) and Diane Freeman claimed the 65-69 podium. Martha Aultman won the 75+ with her dog in tow.

 

Male age group honor roll: Regan Freeman was 2nd in the 25-29, with Bruce Edmonds 3rd. Artis Love finished 3rd in the 30-34. Nic Collins was champion of the 40-44. Jon Baysden and Pat Hall were top 2 in the 45-49. Ivery Baldwin was 2nd in the 50-54. Leighton McClendon took 3rd in the 55-59. Clay Ham and Jeff Radenbaugh were1-3 in the 60-64. Luther Kemmerlin won the  70-74, and Ron Hagell and Rich Wright were top 2 in the 75+.

 

Other notable finishers: Pavel Mosneaguta, Phil Smith, Stefanie Hauser, Makenzie Wilt, Kelly Danias, Stevie Dee Dukes, Cassidy Carter, Sellers Valimohamed, Waverly Duck and Tee Coker.

Gallery below by JP Photography

 

True to the Brew 10k – Pomaria to Peak, SC – 3/29/25

Start line selfie

The True to the Brew 10k is the original gangsta of the True to the Brew series, which started in 2018. This race is technically a trail event, though it’s held on the remnants of an old railroad bed, so it’s actually flat and fast. It is one of the few point-to-point courses on the Tour de Columbia, and starts at Wilson’s Grocery in Pomaria . The course follows the Peak-to-Pomaria segment of the Palmetto Trail in reverse, ending with the bridge crossing across the Broad River. The trailhead afterparty is known for the free beer and breakfast, so it’s always been a stop on the Tour de Blue Shoes calendar, basically because I’m up for beer at any time of day. 

I always sign up for this race way in advance, so of course I’m injured. I am still nursing a bit of a knee issue,  so yeah, pounding out a 10k on a rocky trail sounds like a great idea.  But no one has FOMO like I have FOMO. I decided to still run it, though maybe at 75 percent. Hopefully it wouldn’t wreck me. My usual taxi for the event, the McGrievys, were out galivanting in California, so luckily Jeff Curran and his wife Nicole were on board to help with transportation. It should be noted that there are a couple of large buses to shuttle people back to the start, and carpooling is completely unnecessary, but at least it makes me feel important. Packet pickup at Craft and Draft is always on point with a free beer with your bib. I even took the CRC first lady emeritus this time, though I might have bribed her with a Mr. Friendly’s date to follow. It’s only fair for her having to deal with runner talk.

We agreed to meet at 7:15 at Peak pharmacy , drop off my car there, and drive to the start. I have a confession to make – I typically blatantly disregard the established race parking (a half mile from the start) and pull up to the Wilson’s grocery parking lot in my typical aura of CRC ex-president/GRIT spokesmodel entitlement. I told Jeff to pull in the start line lot and ACT LIKE YOU BELONG. There were a few hi-vis vest guys directing traffic. Ruh roh. I told Jeff DON’T MAKE EYE CONTACT. We pull into a spot, and dammit hi-vis vest guy is following us. OH NO. He asks Jeff is he’s a runner or volunteer. SAY VOLUNTEER, JEFF. Nope. DOH! We were banished to the distant parking lot with the other commoners. CURSES.  Again, there are shuttles to and from the parking area and it’s a half mile downhill walk to the start, so absolutely no reason for being an entitled prick, but hey,  that’s kind of my trademark.

Gretchen’s selfie

I warmed up with the walk and a solo gimp jog for about a mile. The knee seemed OK, whispering “maybe this isn’t the best idea” versus screaming at me in obscenities like many of my other injuries. I strolled up to the start and conditions were pretty ideal  – 59 degrees and little wind. Pretty big crowd on hand since the race sold out, with a big CRC contingent despite the popular Vertex pump and run going on the same day.  Tanner was probably hoping for the win, but Without Limits had some singlet guy that looked pretty fast, and there was some master-ish guy with what looked like a sponsored singlet on, so that’s never a good sign. Shannon looked to be a good bet for the ladies’ podium, but there were some random women there I had never seen before. I still toed the line like I’m fast, but I know very well this is not the case right now.

 

Credit: JP photography

Sure enough, I’m getting passed left and right at the start as I try to settle into a comfortably hard pace. Knee is whispering again, but I’m hoping it will hush its mouth. The course is flat but you’re always having to maneuver over rocks, so at least every part of my knee is getting equally beat up. I clock mile 1 around 7:22, so not too bad. The knee has loosened up some, and I focus on keeping Frank Seier as a pacer, since he’s just ahead of me. The next mile or so I’m able to settle into that comfortably hard zone. The scenery is pretty much the same throughout the course so I start drifting into the usual dark and twisty things in my mind. Suddenly, this younger dude comes up and tells me “NICE CADENCE” and passes me. I assume this is an alternative version of “NICE JOB” and is superficially a compliment, but I wholeheartedly interpret as a HA HA EFF YOU OLD MAN.  OH HELL, I’m getting a “GOOD JOB” from some rando. He keeps going and I decide to latch on. We pass Frank and end up separating out, crossing the 3 mile mark road together.

The next 3 miles are pretty much the same. I’m chasing cadence boy and there’s no one else around. Pace picks up into the 7:15 ish range. Knee is whispering soft nothings by this point. The only real course difference is the underpass and hill back up to the trail at around 5 miles. I can smell the finish by this point, and I seriously consider blasting out a headless chicken to pass this guy. Definitely having fantasies of “HOW’S THS CADENCE??” while blowing by him. But one, that’s probably a really bad idea, especially on a wood slatted bridge, and two, my fitness is trash and I’m pretty beat anyway. There’s no one behind me, so I coast the last quarter of a mile across the bridge and finish in a shade over 45 minutes.  Good for 17th overall, and thanks to my newly advanced age, first in the 50-54! I guess getting old is good for something. I drowned out any further protesting by my knee in IPAs and an egg/bacon sandwich. Not a bad morning!

Credit Jp photography

In the overall, WOL singlet dude Jake Skory torched the field by over five minutes in 36:16.  Kevin McMullen, who I think was Mr. Fit masters guy at the start, finished second in 41:38, while Tanner was just behind in 41:46 for third.

Among the ladies, Shannon Godby crushed a 43:46 for first with Leah Austin 2nd and JK Sipes 3rd.  In male masters, Brian Mincel took the win with Brett Martin 2ndand John O’Brien 3rd.  Jessica Weems took 1st masters among the women, with Carol Anne Wright 2nd and Marian Nanny 3rd.

Women’s Age group honor roll: Hayden Hall was 3rd in the 14 and under. Lauren Duck was 2nd in the 40-44. Kristin Wallace won the 45-49. Jennifer McLeod, Angie Thames and Deanna Rennick swept the 50-54. Dawn Fellers was second in the 55-59. Lisa Powell was 1st and Teresa Harrington 3rd in the 60-64. Meldoy Kreiling won the 65-69 by a mere 13 minutes.

Men’s Age group honor roll: Bruce Edmonds took first in the 25-29. Trey McCain was second in the 35-39. Micah Simonen was champ of the 45-49. Frank Seier and Ed Aufuldish went 1-2 in the 55-59. Joe Roof was champion of the 60-64.  Jerry Rich, Leeds Barroll and Harry Strick rounded out an all CRC 70-74 podium.

Other notable finishers: Thomas Outlaw, Jeff Curran, Daniel Mosher, Marty Wentzel, Nicole Matros, Ken Walker, Son Nguyen, Missy Caughman, Michael and Clara Beaudet, Gretchen Lambert, Kelly Danias, Rick Gibbons, Sara Kozar, Loids Leaburn, Pam Griffin, Patrick Hall, Stevie Dee Dukes, Traci Smith, Pete Poore, Karen Vidra-Zug, Jamie Zug and Margie Shelburg. Sorry for the people I missed – please let me know if you’re not mentioned! drachtungbaby@yahoo.com

Montage: Tracy Tisdale/CRC newsletter pics by JP photography

True to the Brew 5k – Columbia, SC – 3/1/25

The True to the Brew 5k is a brand-new race that’s been added to the existing TTTB series to promote the Palmetto Trail in South Carolina. The existing races include the original 10k on the Peak to Pomaria segment and the half marathon in Croft State park in Spartanburg. The TTTB 5k was devised to highlight the Capital City part of the PT, which runs through the heart of downtown Columbia, including the Riverfront, Laurel, Main, Sumter and Wheat streets.  GRIT director Erin Roof, in the planning stages of this project, had asked me for some potential routes, provided they start/end at the PT headquarters on King Street and utilize some part of the trail. I devised what I thought was a really unique 5 miler that wrapped around the State house and came back. It sounds cool on paper, but in retrospect the Blue Shoes Hilly AF 5 miler from hell with several hundred feet of elevation gain and multiple major road crossings was probably not the best option. As it turns out, my tastes are not for everyone. Just ask my Sunday morning crew and their always ill-fated decision to have me lead. I will find every miserable hill in this city if allowed. This is the way.

Luckily for you, GRIT and PT exec director Mary Roe decided on a rectangle in Shandon that was considerably more pleasant to run. It does utilize the Wheat Street section and most importantly the PT headquarters, where the afterparty was to be held. If free beer and burgers are involved, then you don’t have to twist my arm to show up.  I arrived my standard hour in advance and found myself parking in front of what must have been some wild bro party on Lee St. the night before, since there were still a few douchey guys out front amped up on presumably red bull and vodka, +/- some nose candy. There was a lot of woooooing and I decided to avoid eye contact. My legs were still kind of trashed from the Dam to Dam relay the week before, and I did a couple miles of warmup with Silent H and Drew Williams, along with spectators Hicks and Joyce. Luckily there were ample portapotties since my colon kept talking to me for additional encore performances. Temps were warmish but not too bad, low 60s, with some wind. 

Always finding the camera

Start line was on King Street out in front of the PT headquarters. A quick look around was notable for no super elites on the men’s or women’s side. Nobody seemed to be paying attention to the photographer, so I made sure to pose in my new olive green Stitch Fix race shirt, which is long enough to cover my freakish torso and first trimester food baby. If Sarah has moved on from pageants, then someone has to be the diva. I couldn’t tell who was winning this race for the guys, but it seemed pretty clear Shannon had it in the bag for the ladies, though her pre-race fall made her look like she got in a fight with the pavement. But hey, If you’re bleeding, it does add to the bad-ass intimidation factor. GRIT family Parker Roof seemed to be the favorite to win the overall, though there were a couple of teens and a fit-looking masters dude in a singlet that might crash his trophy hunt.

The start was less chaotic with the non-elite field, but apparently, I must have gotten a contact high from the frat bros because I was going hard as a MF for some reason. Drew told me he was glad I was in a different AG now, but I had to inform him, at 5:30ish pace, that I was still 49 until Monday. Grandmasters will have to wait until next week. We turn on Wheat and I try to rein in the effort a bit, because I’m breathing way too hard out of the gates. Up ahead is Parker and masters singlet dude and one other young guy. The pace car is right there so between that, my giant ego and Drew’s elephant footclomps behind me, I am probably not backing off sufficiently. Sure enough, mile 1 (Wheat and Ravenel corner) comes back in 6:06. Yikes. But then giant ego brain convinces me that maybe, just maybe, I’m in that kind of shape now. It should be noted that I run 99 out of 100 5ks with negative splits, so this was not my usual.            

JEDI runner pics from mile 2.5

We make the turnround on Prospect and it’s a relief to at least be heading back towards home. It feels like I’ve put a gap on the field behind me and so it’s basically just me and Parker out for a run in Shandon. There’s a nice downhill drift on Monroe for a while, but there’s also a headwind, which doesn’t bode well for my less than aerodynamic physique. Mile 2 comes back in 6:11, which would be exciting, since it’s only a few seconds off sub-19 pace. Unfortunately, the cocaine-like push at the start is beginning to exact its toll. And bad. There are hardly any hills to speak of on this route but somehow just the slightest inclines start to feel like Marlboro St on Sunday mornings. I’m really struggling, and I even start doing mental math as to how much WALKING I could do and still keep my position. But I have no idea how much distance I have on the field, and then here comes Tracy taking pics. OMG, I would never hear the end of it catching the walksies in a JEDI photo. So I soldier on, despite the fact I’m ready to give birth to my lungs through my chest. At the turn onto King, I see Parker look back and I know he’s having nightmares of a pasty almost-50-year old chunky boy take his ass down in front of literally his whole family. And while I would relish the chance to exact such unbearable shame, my body is adamantly vetoing that idea. The wheels are falling off and I am sucking wind like there’s no tomorrow. Just wrecked. Luckily, I can make out the finish from forever away, which gives me a goal, but man, there is no blue shoe kick today.  I even have to back it off a couple of times so the brain in the giant melon head can get enough oxygen. Parker avoids disaster and crosses the line right at 19:00, while I muster the last bit of effort to crash across the finish in 19:17, complete with an HYC style collapse in front of PT headquarters.  OK, so that was not the best strategy. But the time isn’t too far off from the 19:10 at Run for the Saints when it was 40 degrees colder. I’ll take it.

Running on empty

Post race party was even better than I thought – burgers (meat and black bean), hot dogs, chicken salad sandwiches, chips and of course free Palmetto trail beer. Craft and Draft was also selling some additional brews. Awards were steel growlers for overall and masters, and because fit masters singlet guy took 2nd, I got to revel at the top of the podium for my masters “win”.  Hey, I’ll take what I can get. And a new chapter of grandmaster Blue Shoes starts this week. Watch out, fellow AARP members. 

COLUMBIA RUNNING CLUB GROUP PIC (Calico photography)

In the overall, Douglas Nover took the win in 17:38, with “fit masters dude” Craig Wiltshire taking 2nd in his first sub 18, 17:51. Nice work, Craig. Parker took 3rd in 19 flat. Not surprisingly, Shannon took home the women’s win in 20:39. Not too shabby for 52, especially after getting your ass kicked by the asphalt. What was surprising was Korinne Collins taking TWO MINUTES off her 5k PR to claim 2nd in 21:33. WHO DOES THAT?  Absolutely incredible. Though I will note she has followed my Sunday morning hill nightmares on multiple occasions, so this is her reward. Sellers Valimohamed continues her comeback to racing with a 3rd overall finish in 22:44.

In the female masters division, Courtney Givens took first in 22:58, while ageless CRC legend Melody Kreiling placing 2nd. Krystle Gregory from Summerville was 3rd.  Male masters was won by an olive green menace named Alex McDonald, with Drew Williams and Jeffrey Campbell third, all under 20 minutes. Middle aged men are brutal.

Age group honor roll: In the 11-14, Hayden Hall took 1stplace while Lauren Carpenter won 2nd in the 15-19. Michaela Willoughby was third in the 25-29. Meredith Frye was 2nd in the 30-34. Ashleigh Carpenter was 2nd in the 40-44 women, while Marty Wentzel and Adam Fisher were 2-3 among the men. Brie McGrievy was 2nd in the 45-49 women. Micah Simonsen was 1st and Jon Baysden 3rd among the men. Amanda Lyons and Kana Rahman went 1-2 in the 50-54. The 55-59 group featured Lynda Leonardi and Sara Wilcox topping the women’s division and Randall “SILENT H” Hrechko and president Roy Shelley winning the men’s division. Phil Smith captured the 60-64 men’s crown while Pam Griffin and Lisa Powell went 2-3 among the women. Beverly Breuer, Mary Cassidy and Lisa Smarr swept the 65-69 women’s podium, while George Cassidy, Jerry Rich and Pete Poore did the same among the 70-74 men. Martha Aultman and Brigitte Smith were 1-2 in the 75+ women while Alex Ponomarev and Ken Lowden claimed the top two spots among the men. 

Other notable finishers (I tried my best to include everyone, let me know if I missed anybody, also would love to meet new CRC members) : Patrick Hall (whose Dog Daze company also sponsored the race), Ted and Anna Hewitt, Webster Lyons, Violet Beets, Katherine Meyers, Bertha Woehl, Leighton McClendon, Sarah Soltau, Joanna Holden, Missy Caughman, Deana Rennick, uiGretchen Lambert, Shiela Bolin, Clara Beaudet, Teresa Harrington, Lois Leaburn, Makenzie Wilt, Harry Strick, Maria Pray, Traci Smith, Andrea Bowman, Kristin Wallace, Karen Vidra-Zug, Dianne Steadman, Heather Herndon, Dianne Freeman, Jonathan Kozar and Sara Kozar.

Calico photography /montage from Tracy Tisdale/CRC newsletter

 

Cupid’s Chase 5k – Columbia, SC – 2/8/25

Start line

The Cupid’s Chase 5k has been put on for about a decade and is one of 48 similar races across the country put on by Community Options. Community Options helps fund programs and housing for people with disabilities, so obviously a good cause. It’s held in Maxcy Gregg park and features a fairly fast out and back course through Shandon. While known for being on the pricey side, the race has a reputation for some awesome awards and door prizes.

I missed last week’s Be the Buffalo, so it didn’t take long for me to develop a bad case of the FOMOs and generalized race withdrawal. Cupid’s was the only race this weekend, so I hoped it would bring out all the hardcore CRCers already out there scrounging for 2025 points even before they get their 2024 plaque. Greedy bastards (me included). The registration was a little steep at 45 bucks but fortunately this esteemed publication had a discount code. READ YOUR NEWSLETTER, PEOPLE.

For better or worse, Cupid’s also starts at 10 am, so plenty of time to sleep late and get ready. I always appreciate ample time for my dramatic colon to play out its typical three act play on race mornings. I get there an hour early and it looks like a decent crowd. Weather is nice though crazy warm for February, 60ish. True to form, Cupid’s race packet has  a Nike tech shirt with $22 tag still on it. Not too shabby. I even wore it to the race because apparently, I’m a notal noob.

Silent H and I slog jogged a few miles and checked out his new Honda, even though it made me sad with the recent death of my prized 2005 pilot with all the race stickers. Rest easy, big blue. One surprise encore for my colon and everybody starts lining up. The crowd is sizable but no Hunter (aka 2024 SC male runner of the year) or other super elites. Tanner is on hand, and I say he might have the W on this one. There are some pesky high school kids though, so that’s always a wild card. After my start line selfie, I look over and see Phil Midden. OH NO. Like OJ Striggles, Phil is exactly my age and a far superior runner, as well as a long-time destroyer of my trophy hunting hopes. He rarely races, but when he shows up, he gives me a good beat down. Oh well.

So I should really break this race down into three separate dramas. 

1) THE TURN. This course is a simple out and back, with the first part straight up Blossom until you turn on Amherst. Nothing super surprising in the early going. I paced with J-Ly early and Tanner and a group of kids led the way up ahead. I powered up the hill and I’m focused on getting my breathing back when I spot some chaos up ahead. The lead cop car appears to stop suddenly, back up and then turn on Sims. Everyone in the lead pack follows the car. OH NO. I hate misdirects. I’m the next runner and I have a crisis of conscience. Well, I’d like to call it a crisis of conscience. More like a “what should I do so have a chance at that sweet CC swag”. I could run the right course, but we’re only a block or two from the turnaround. Community Options is not exactly a bunch of USATF road racing officials, so a slightly short course is probably not going to result in the lead pack getting DQ’d. Where is HYC when you need him?? The thought of being the lead guy to run the right course and getting a win on a technicality does cross my mind, though. Ultimately, I decided running a 4k today doesn’t sound too bad , so I turn on Sims too.

 

2) ON PATROL LIVE.  After I make the turn, I realize this is even shorter than I thought. I’m all in my head, knowing my time is going to be useless, and Phil has probably stolen my swag already anyway. I’m awakened from my Debbie downer episode when some dude in an SUV takes a hard turn onto the course, followed by a scream of some choice words by the cop managing the intersection. I’m about to cross when I see the cop jump in his car, flip his blue lights and haul ass down Wheat to go get the SUV guy.  I look both ways at the intersection, which is a little hard to do when you’re pulling 5k pace as an albino sasquatch. Thankfully any other cars there decide they don’t want to get arrested for vehicular manslaughter either. I didn’t see the aftermath, but H reported he saw the SUV guy in handcuffs. Dayum.

 

3) AMBULANCE FOR ARTIS. So I burn down Blossom as hard as I could, but the two high schoolers in front of me are not going to let a near grandmasters chunky boy chase them down. We approach the finish line and see the clock flip over to the 17s. Yeah, this is super short. I hit the finish in 17:17, Garmin has 2.75 miles. Extrapolate the pace and consider a touch of Blue Shoe Kick and it’s probably about a 19:15. Not too bad. Not too long after, I’m jibba jabbing at the finish when I hear a scream and some brakes. Apparently, Artis Love came crashing through the finish and took a hard right, fearing a Kobayashi style “reversal of fortune”, aka puke. Only problem is that the finish is on Blossom st with an active right lane. A car brakes hard and Artis seemed to take a side swipe from the mirror. I went running over. Because everyone wants a psychiatrist as their first responder. THOUGH WE ARE M.D.s, DAMMIT. Sorry, got triggered. Luckily, he seemed ok, though I’m sure the adrenaline was high. The kid who hit him stopped and was appropriately freaked but he was glad Artis was all right. We walked Artis back to a chair by the finish, when I guess the RD decided to call in the cavalry. A fire truck and an ambulance with lights and sirens showed up and planted themselves right in front of the finish line. Dude got a level 1 trauma response for a bruised hip. Luckily Artis got checked out and was able to walk around later, though I’m sure he was sore the next day.

 

But, even with all the 911 action, let’s get to the important part – THE AWARDS. Cupid’s Chase awards are usually awesome, but totally random and highly variable. I swear someone will get a 100 dollar gift certificate while the next age group will be a key chain and a pen. I moved back into Debbie Downer mode for the awards until I heard the glorious announcement of the 3rd place overall PHIL MIDDEN. YESSSS. I call this “PULLING AN OJ”, where you get a consolation age group win because the real fastest guy got pulled up to the overall/masters. Some would be ashamed of this victory, but it’s safe to say, between flying elbows, turkey costumes and incessant poop talk, I HAVE ZERO SHAME. I got some rechargable running lights for my efforts, which, while not $100, was better than Julia’s candle collection. 

 In the overall, Douglas Nover and Justin Meza took the top 2 spots over my age group nemesis Phil Midden. Hannah Hilal and Meredith Moyer took the top 2 women’s spots, with Jennifer Lybrand third.

Age group honor roll: Finn Jaworek won the 2-12 boys. Jordan Seeger won the 20-24. Sellers Valimohamed and Julia Ghering took the top 2 in the 25-29. Artis survived his trauma for 1st in the 30-34. Tanner Lybrand won the 35-39 and was 4th overall. Daniel Mosher and Amy Magee both placed 2nd in the 40-44. Adam Lawrimore took 2nd in the 45-49 behind the sasquatch. Merrit McNeely was 1st and Jennifer McLeod 3rd in the 45-49 women. Kirkwood and H took the top 2 in the men’s 55-59, while Lynda Leonardi and Pam Griffin did the same among the women. Beverly Bauer and Sue Porter were 2-3 in the 60-69 group. Brigitte Smith won the 70+ women while George Cassidy, Jerry Rich and Leeds Barroll swept the men’s podium. 

 

Notable finishers – Most importantly, Patrick Hall is the actual winner of this race, since he was the only one who ran the whole correct course.  Other finishers included Joey and Gabriella Swearingen, Antjuan Seawright, Stephanie Mosher, Marcus Cunningham. Tameika Cunningham, Alex Ponomarev, Pete Poore, Harry Strick, Ron and Helene Lipe, Jennifer Reeves, Bridgette and Bryan Honor and current CRC tour race participation leader, Margie Shelburg.

 

Fill the Pack 5k and MLK 5k Double Dip – Lexington /Columbia, SC – 1/18/25

Fille the Pack start line

So I’m pretty sure the last time I double dipped, I swore I was done. Two races, one morning. It’s stressful and exhausting. But when I see the stars align for a DD opportunity, I get a wicked case of FOMO and I guess I can’t help myself. As per the usual, porch IPAs may also have been involved. 

This double looked to be an easy one. Seven thirty start for the Fill the Pack 5k and 9 am for MLK. A quick google maps look showed a 22-minute drive between race sites. As someone who has pulled off a triple dip twice and a 30-minute double, this should be a piece of cake.

Plus, these were going to be two good races. I’ve done the MLK probably ten times and it’s always well done with cool awards. It used to be on Strictly’s old Palmetto Grand Prix and brought out all the beasts. It still usually has some decent competition, and the course is conducive to some fast times. I had no idea about Fill the Pack, but it was being held on the legendary Stomp the Swamp course at River Bluff, which is brutally hard but features a cool start/finish in the high school football stadium.

Waking up on race morning, I had my usual moment of Why the hell do I do this to myself??, made even worse by the fact it was 40ish degrees and raining. Awesome. But I had to do at least Fill the pack for two reasons. One, Tracy was coming out for a pro bono Jedi photo shoot and despite my questionable looks, I can’t help but be an attention whore. Two, the Visser. The dude (Michael Visser) has been all over social media in search of his first sub-20, and I couldn’t help but get caught up in his enthusiasm, since that was basically me in 2010. I told him “Come follow me to a sub 20”. I couldn’t let him down, right? Yeah, we’ll get to that. 

I showed up an hour early and the race already had a decent crowd. It is apparently being used by F3 as their local running championship, so some pretty fast looking dudes out there. I don’t understand F3’s lack of racing, but they will show out when they actually put on a bib. I always have to look out for unknown superfit millennial soccer dads with this group. Branham is already there blowing up the bathroom and adjusting his nose strip when I arrive. I’ve made up some of the gap between us, but he is still kicking my ass since my Achilles betrayed me in ’23. Wesley also shows up a couple of minutes later. I used to be able to beat him too, but recently he’s been giving me a smackdown more often than not.  And then there’s the Visser, who I apparently completely misjudged since he’s dressed like an elite in a singlet and arm warmers and is super lean. I only found one potential double dipper in Margie Shelburg. With her average 5k of around 50 minutes, this would be a tough double, but she swore she would do it, even if it meant an HYC style late start at MLK.

Thankfully for the doublers, we started right on time, and the weather wasn’t too terrible. Kind of a light mist, low 40s. Definitely different from the mid-August swelter of Stomp the Swamp. The start is a diagonal across the football field and wow, everyone is hauling ass immediately. It should be known this course will destroy you if you go out too fast. It’s mostly uphill for the first half, with a part they call the “calf crusher”, a huge hill in the middle of campus that you go up and come right back down. But first you have to climb out of the sports complex, and that’s no joke either. Branham has a good lead on me only a quarter mile in, and apparently Visser will not be “following me to a sub 20” because he’s already out of sight. We hit the calf crusher, and it certainly is aptly named. I manage to catch Trey McCain and we basically climb it together, both chasing Wes, who is about 10 meters ahead.

The Visser

I feel decent in the early going and decide that I must be killing it since the pace feels fast.  We kick out into a parking lot after the calf crusher and the 6:15 mile of my mind is actually 6:41. WTF?? I guess the hills are taking a greater toll than I thought. I try to kick it up a notch but even the parking lot and the connector to the upper entrance of campus is uphill. Around 1.5 you enter a forest paved trail area that is pretty steep in some sections. Yeah, this isn’t helping my pace. Finally, I hit the top of the course in the forest and start plummeting down. I’m afraid of slipping and ripping something in another sharp turn as we enter into another parking lot (site of Silent H’s most recent injury). I didn’t think it was possible, but mile 2 is even slower at 6:57. Jeez this more like the 21-minute pace group than a sub 20. But at least the rest is almost completely downhill. I crank it up a notch and manage to pass a younger guy in a yellow shirt, then set my sights on Wes. Unfortunately for me, Wes is not having it and I’m having trouble closing the gap. We hit the sports complex again and counselor Sawyer is still holding me off. But I’ve been known to channel my inner Rocket Sanders and pull off some epic blue shoeings on the astroturf of the River Bluff football field. Just ask Code Brown and the Yerg. As soon as my feet hit the soft turf, I start throwing down. But that is when the running gods paid me back for Blue shoeing and turkeying. No sooner is my kick in motion when I hear it. Footsteps. Oh no, no one passes me, right? Pace gets amped again but all I see is a yellow blur as the guy I passed whips by me like I’m standing still.  DAMMIT. As it turns out he and three other young dudes up ahead join forces and whip Wes’ ass too. Both of us brutally Gen Z’d. I end up with my tail between my legs, crossing the line in 20:21. 6:09 last mile and a 5:39 kick, and I still get a beat down. Oh well, still good enough for 1st in AG, though no overall points since I was 12th. Visser absolutely crushed a 19:20, a huge PR and probably good for a sub 19 on a flat course. Thankfully he decided not to follow the chunky old man.

 

Blue shoed. From Jedi Runner Photography

In the overall, Patrick Timmerman took the win in 17:42, with top F3 John Mouzakis second in 18:58. Rowan Anders was 3rd in 19:17. The women’s race was won by Leah Austin in 21:22. Twelve year old CRCer Cooper “Honey Badger “ Robbins took 2nd in 25:16. Fellow CRCer Shenequa Coles took 3rd in 26:36. Branham took home male masters in 19:58 while Geraldine Schnupp was the women’s winner in 27:34.  Highlights of the age groupers included Mark Bedenbaugh and Mark Gallagher winning the 60-64 men. Pam Griffin won the 55-59 women, while Patrick McElderry and Kenny Culbertson went 1-2 in the 50-54 men. Double dipper Margie was 3rd in the 65-69 women. Full results here: https://www.strictlyrunning.com/json/Index_JS_C4.asp?uYear=2025&uRaceId=4520&uEvent=5k

 

MLK start

After a failed attempt to recruit Wes for the double, I jumped in the car to head to MLK. The twenty-ish minute drive was just enough to get my legs super stiff. It didn’t help I was cold, wet and was wallowing in my shame from the football field. If I hadn’t forked out the cash already, I probably would’ve bailed. I get there with over half an hour to spare, which is a good thing, because my colon decides to wake up a la the True to the Poo incident on the Palmetto trail. It’s still freezing and now I’m doing bathroom intervals to add to my misery.  Brady had told me the registrations were pretty similar for these races, but the terrible weather has apparently driven quite a few away from MLK. CRC hardcore regulars were out there though, with Jimmy and Hunter Jarvis, Tanner Lybrand, Shannon Godby, Ashley Graham, Pete Poore, Ponomarev, Kirkwood, Shawanna, Artis Love, Ivery Baldwin, Joyce Welch, Lynda Leonardi, Jenny Nance, Michele Edmundson, Stephanie Mosher, Darci and Pippa Kenagy, Asheigh and Lauren Carpenter, Marcus Cunningham, Gretchen Lambert, Bridgette Honor, Jerry Rich and Marcus Cunningham. Margie made it there in time too, with 4 minutes to spare! Pete has done this race over 30 times and is probably an honorary member of Alpha Phi Alpha, the fraternity that puts this race on. 

The course for MLK is certainly easier than FTP.  The first mile is a pancake flat loop around MLK park and into 5 points. Mile two is the tough one, a climb into Shandon on Blossom and King, a la the old Get to the Green course. After the turn around on Heyward, the last mile is mostly flat and downhill, save for a little bump at the end on Lee Street. 

With the gun in race 2, I am feeling rough in the early going but start to loosen up on the back half of the park loop. I’m definitely the ugliest in a three-person pack with Shannon and Ashley. I get a flashback to 1995 chasing girls in five points. Ashley surges ahead and Shannon falls back a bit as we make the turn into Blossom.  Mile 1 in 6:15. Hunter has already exited the zip code and Tanner has put a pretty big gap on us three. My legs are a little cashed, but my lungs feel better since they were already blown out at FTP. Despite my Sasquatchean physique, I’m better at hills than most, so I throw down the hammer on Blossom and break free.  The Blossom/King hill combo is pretty brutal, so I mail in the next quarter mile to recover. Rounding the turn on Woodrow back to home feels good, so I try to at least stay in sight of Tanner. Mile 2 – 6:36. The last mile feels decent cardio wise, but my legs are begging me to stop. Thankfully, it’s all flat on Woodrow/Wheat and King on the way home. I’m running all alone but I’m still deathly afraid of getting a repeat of the last race. Apparently, Mr. Yellow shirt, Andre Smith, lives rent-free in my head now. Cresting the last hill on Lee st, it’s one long fall down a mountain to the finish. I can see the clock and it’s still in the 19s but it’s going to be close.  One last blast and I manage to cross in 19:50. Whew! Very happy with the time for the second half of a double. Good enough for 3rd behind Hunter and Tanner, and 1st old man (Masters).

 

In the overall, Hunter Jarvis cruised to another win in 16:10. Tanner got 2nd in 19:10. Ashley managed to hold off Shannon for the top two spots in the women’s field, with Hannah Hilal 3rd. Shawanna scored 1st female masters while Kirkwood won among the men. 

Age group honor roll: Pippa Kenagy and Lauren Carpenter took top 2 in the 11-20. Artis Love was 2nd in the 21-30 men. Sellers Valimohamed (nee Williamson) returned to racing with 1st in the 21-30 women. Ivery Baldwin was 3rdin the 41-50 men.  Shawanna White, Merritt McNeely, and Ashleigh Carpenter won the 41-50 among the women.  Joyce Welch and Lynda Leonardi took top 2 in the 51-60 women. Legends Jerry Rich, Alex Ponomarev and Pete Poore swept the 70+.