Crawdaddy Dash 5k – Columbia, SC – 5/4/24

It’s been several years since the Rosewood Crawdaddy Dash happened, and I was sure it was no more, but I was super happy to see Erin and GRIT revive it. I was at the inaugural race, which was probably 2011-ish. The Crawfish festival which hosts the race used to bring in 1990s alt rock vets like Everclear and Better then Ezra, so definitely right up my alley. Later, Hunter Gatherer built their Hangar outpost, and no one has to twist my arm for a post-race beer. 2014 report below:

Rosewood Crawdaddy Dash 5k – Columbia, SC – 5/3/2014

The course has a bit of a tough climb to start, but few races end with virtually 2 miles of downhill and flatness. I thought I was excited about the race, but few can match the enthusiasm of Regan Freeman. I did a half mile warm up with him and dude was AMPED. I was jealous of his crawdaddy hat though. I can always get behind a good costume. In fact, Crawdaddy was being held on the same day as the May the Fourth race, enabling me to do a rare cosplay double, Obi-Wan and Crawdaddy boxer guy. Luckily the two races were 90 minutes apart, so an easy ride over. I didn’t quite have to drive like a maniac, but somehow, I weaved through USC graduation traffic from Saluda Shoals and made it to Hunter Gatherer by about 9 am. There might have been an entitled violation of a police barrier since I drove up from the back. I’ll never tell.

It felt better to not have long pants and a robe on, but it was still pretty miserable outside. Legs got super tight on the ride over too, so that was also fun. There was a nice crowd on hand and tons of CRCers, plus quite a few double dippers. Not sure of all of them, but Chris, Melody, Nicki, Brett, Stevie, HYC , Ivery and Roy made the trip from Saluda Shoals. Thankfully there were plenty of portapotties, because I’m always afraid of another infamous “true to the poo” incident from one of my other double dips. Again, zero time goal here, just get to the finish line.

At the start, I try to position myself for maximum pic exposure on the front line, but I get passed almost immediately by about 20 people. Fantastic. As advertised, the first mile is a complete struggle bus on this course, though the initial 800 meters is the toughest. I try and maintain a decent pace, but my Jedi jaunt has apparently destroyed my life force. It feels like everybody and their mom is ahead of me and I just have nothing. I pace pretty evenly with Kara Stevens and clock in a tick under 7 minutes as we turn onto Rosewood. For reference I like 6:15 out of the gates, but that’s all I have today. What’s nice is knowing there are no more hills. I turn onto Ott and we all start the long gradual slog down to Owens field. The Ott St decline has been a favorite of mine for all virtual races, including the 2020 palmetto 200 and the 2021 virtual sweat it out with Yerg when he couldn’t make it in person. It’s really long and you can stride out the whole way down. Mile 2 in 6:39 so I’m at least near my 10k pace by now. Sellers Williamson, Brendan Holman and Seth Lapic are in sight but I’m kind of on my own at this point. Ashley is off Montgomery st taking pics, so I make sure to do some posing with what little oxygen I have left. I try and push it in mile 3 to at least get under 21. I manage to catch Sellers and I see Brendan, Seth and Yerg as I take a right on Jim Hamilton Blvd. I am very relieved to feel no wind on this stretch, because it can be brutal when it’s in your face. Luckily the only thing holding me back is 195 lbs of poor conditioning. But, hell, might as well blast out whatever you have. I start tracking down Brendan and suddenly he catches a case of the walksies. I scream at him and he sees the truly frightening sight of a pale ass tan lined sasquatch barreling his way. He takes off again in a startle but the walksie bug hits again a little while later and I manage to pass him about 200 meters from the finish. Seth is up ahead. He may be weakened by a blazing 3:03 London Marathon two weeks ago, but still better than me today. I am just toast by the finish, beautifully captured by my finish line photo, which looks like a cross between a stroke or a bad taco bell experience. Just hideous, as always. Finish time of 20:44. 9th overall. To clarify how brutal the masters competition is in Columbia, this was only good for 5th masters and technically 4th in my 45-49 age group. Luckily, the top three 45-49 people got taken up by masters overall and I got a “consolation” 1st in AG on the podium. But hey, I’ll take even a fake number one.

Overall winners in this race included the ageless Orinthal Striggles, churning out a 17:03 at age 48. Steven Hicks finally broke through in a big way with a very sub 18 in 17:41 for second across the line. He opted to take first masters, so official 2nd was Cole Andrew in 17:49 with 3rd going to Regan in a nice 18:56. Ivanka Tolan took the overall women’s race in 19:59 , with Sellers 2nd in 21:28and Kara 3rd in 21:46 for a CRC sweep. Male masters included Chris Branham in 2nd, with a nice 19:09 in the second leg of a double dip, and Rob THE YERG Yerger in 3rd. Female masters winners were Marian Nanney in 1st with Melody Kreiling taking an impressive 2ns at age 64.

Female Age group honors: Michaela Willoughby was 2nd in the 25-29. Shelley Rivers was champ of the 40-44. Kristin Wllace and Deanna Rennick won 1st and 3rd in the 45-49. Stevie Dee Dukes, Missy Caughman and Melinda Waldrop swept the 50-54. Kelly Danias was 2nd in the 55-59. Teresa Harrington won the 60-64. Margie Shelburg was 2nd in the 65-69.

Male age group honors: Christopher Houck won 1st in the 30-34 with Ian Loughlin 2nd. Seth Lapic and Antjuan Seawright took the top 2 in the 35-39. Brendan Holman and Brett Martin went 1-2 in the 40-44. With all the studs in the overall and masters, I won the 45-49 by a mere 10 minutes. That has to be a record. Ivery Baldwin, Drew Dickerson and Todd Derrick won the 50-54. Roy Shelley, Eliere Tolan and Leighton McClendon swept the 55-59. Clay Ham was 1st and Phil Smith 3rd in the 60-64. Leeds Barroll won the 70-74, while Richard Wright and Ron Hagell took the 75+.

Other notable finishers: Son Nguyen, Nicole Charlton, Maria Pray, Traci Smith, Kathryn Houck, Kristin Loughlin, and Gretchen Lambert.

Lucky Leprechaun 5k – Camden, SC – 3/2/24

Mar10

The Lucky Leprechaun 5k was established in 2018 to help promote the Irish Fest in Camden. While I am always somewhat reluctant to leave the confines of the Columbia metropolitan area, this race promised free green beer at the finish line, a pancake-flat course and the ever-present swag /awards of a GRIT event. Add to this it was being held ON MY BIRTHDAY, and I was in. Camden is barely a half hour from the casa del Blue Shoes, so really not much of a trip anyway. Erin then made the group (of mostly Camden and Elgin runners) sing Happy Birthday to me at the award ceremony, andpresented me with a giant birthday cookie cake. I’m sure 90 percent of the 2018 registrants wondered a) who the hell is this guy? and b) why is he such an insufferable egomaniac? Legitimate questions, both. What I didn’t know is that the ego stroking was only a ploy in Erin’s long game to find someone ridiculous enough and attention-whorish enough to serve as the race mascot, Lucky Leprechaun himself. So, forever indebted to the 2018 birthday celebration, I was that person. Except for an ill-timed college friend’s wedding in 2022, I’ve been the leprechaun ever since.

And let me tell you, the suit is hideous. Decked out in green velour, gold/green vest and striped socks, this thing is not attractive. It also has to be dry cleaned, which may or may not have occurred in 6 years, as well as stuffed in a closet 364 days a year. It’s pretty gross. But it definitely will get your attention, especially when you’re already 6’3” and probably 7 feet with the insane looking jaunty stovepipe hat.

However, it is not completely race unfriendly. The green velour pants are definitely light and airy, so much so that the 2019 photos are probably not suitable for viewing by children. My best time is a 19:03 in 2021, but after a year of a gimpy Achilles, I couldn’t touch that in regular racewear in 2024. My time last year was 20:03 at the beginning of my injury woes, so that was a more realistic goal.

I tried to arrive early for the race, but sometimes the race day colon is a fickle mistress, so I was a little late. The place was packed, so there was definitely an uptick in registrations, even with the competition at the Spurs Up Sprint in Columbia and the Myrtle Beach Marathon. I haven’t raced since Dam to Dam a few weeks ago and everything was tight. This would be interesting. My warmup included a rogue visit to an unofficial portapotty and getting verbally lambasted by a teen volunteer for running off course. I was like, dude do you think the race started 30 minutes early and I’m leading the entire field by a half mile in this outfit? But hey, I admire the dedication to duty. Weatherwas nice but a little humid.

At the start, there was a huge CRC contingent, officially 31 of us by the group list on runsignup. Sarah and Eric Allers even came in from Rock Hill. Competition looked pretty stiff, with a couple of young dudes and Chris Branham signing up last second to scrounge points. Do we have a threat to Jarvis’ supremacy on the overall Tour? Shannon Godby was back to defend her 2023 title on the women’s side.

My goal in this race was to not get hurt, start easy-ish and negative split. With the gun, I’m still tight and race pace feels brutal. Everyone is passing me and there’s a small part of me that tells me I could just mail this one in, especially with the suiton. But every time that thought gets overridden by the insanely, maniacally competitive primitive race brain that supersedes all logic. The course is a pretty much a rectangle. While fairly flat, the first half is a gradual uphill and the second half the same grade downhill. If you make it to the turnaround in decent shape, you can crush the last mile plus.

After being reassured my Achilles wouldn’t snap, I focused on trying to catch up with everyone that blew me away at the start. Sarah was leading a pack of young girls, which was cool to see her still inspiring the younger generation. She also made sure to trash talk me as I pulled alongside and told me to smack her husband in the rear if I could catch him. I’m pretty sure Eric would administer a leprechaun assault and battery if I tried that. Mile 1 was like 6:40ish, so I definitely needed to pick it up to have a chance at 20. I managed to pull up to Mr. Allers and Shannon a little over a mile in, and I was starting to feel the effect of the pace uptick and the heat of a couple layers of velour. Just ahead of them was this kid, and just as I started to pass him, he cut me off. Oh, he probably didn’t see me. A few dozen meters later, same thing. OH IT’S ON NOW, BUDDY. I pull a 2010 Marcus Lattimore maneuver and blow by this dude with the agility of, well, a 7 foot almost 49 year old leprechaun with a bad foot. Nothing like asserting your dominance against a pesky 8th grader.

I can see the pace car way ahead, and finally, finally it turns to the right. Every year it just seems longer. Rounding the turn is awesome, because suddenly your treadmill is on negative 1 percent instead of the opposite. Mile 2 is 6:30ish , so it’s going to take a miracle to get a sub 20. Plus, what felt like moderate humidity and 50ish degrees now feels like mid-August in the suit. I’m kind of dying but at least I now have my significant gravitational advantage on my side. I start to ramp it up a bit, but there isn’t much gas in the tank. Also, I’m surprised to see an a) an unknown female leading the women’s race and b) she is matching my kick step for step. I’m making zero progress. We finally crash back onto the main drag of Camden, Dekalb street,and I am toast. I can see the finish turn just ahead but mystery girl is thoroughly kicking my ass. I think I can maybe throw down a headless chicken pass at the end, but it’s just not happening. She whups my tail and finishes a few seconds before I blast through in 20:11. Good enough for 11th place (10th male) and a solitary TDC overall point. I’ll take it.

The race finish area featured pint glasses and big golden trophies for the overall and masters, as well as St Patty’s Day donuts from Mondo donuts. And did we mention beer? There was also beer. Maybe not my high gravity snooty IPAs, but a Mich Ultra will do at 8:30 in the morning. I can also say the donut was on point, since I ate it like a rabid raccoon in the car on the way home. Awesome race as always!

Overall: Sixteen-year-old Benjamin Rabon got the win in 18:15, with Chris Branham 2nd in 18:45 and Benjamin Laprise 3rd in18:49. In the women’s race, hats off to Molly Williams for holding off the Leprechaun for the win in 20:08. Shannon Godby crushed a 20:34 for 2nd and Sarah Allers was 3rd in 21:33. Shannon scored a 81 percent age grade while Sarah posted a near world class level 89 percent. Wow.

The timing company took masters runners out of the overall, so unofficially, the male masters podium was Jeff Brandenburg (19:01 and also an 81 percent age grade), the leprechaun, and Eric Allers. Female masters winners were Barbara Brandenburg, Jennifer McLeod and Kristin Wallace.

Age group honor roll (female): Hayden Hall was 3rd in the 11-14. Julia Ghering was the champ of the 25-29, with Michaela Willoughby 2nd. Toni Jumper was 2nd in the 40-44. Bertha Woehl was 2nd in the 55-59. Melody Kreiling and Colleen Towery were 1-2 in the 60-64. Mary Cassidy was 2nd in the 65-69.

Age group honor roll (male): Regan Freeman won the 25-27. Patrick Hall was 3rd in the 45-49. Eric Allers was 1st in the 50-54, while Frank Seier was tops in the 55-59. Tony Yarborough and Phil Smith were 1-3 in the 60-64. George Cassidy and Pete Poore went 1-2 in the 70-74. Ron Hagell was 2nd in the 75-79.

Other notable finishers: Michael Beaudet, Clara Beaudet, Drew Dickerson, Margie Shelburg, Stevie Dee Dukes, Son Nguyen, Teresa Shelton. Pam Griffin, Nikki Charlton, Cassidy Carter, Tammy Carter, Dianne Steadman, Maria Pray, Sherry Blizzard. Sorry if I missed anyone.

https://runsignup.com/Race/Results/53235#resultSetId-440185;perpage:100

Nightmare in Elmwood 5k – 10/29/22 – Columbia, SC

Nov4

The Nightmare in Elmwood 5k is a completely new 5k, the brainchild of Erin Roof/GRIT and the Elmwood Park neighborhood. I’m always a fan of the swag-tastic GRIT races, but this one provided another costume opportunity and was scheduled so you could double or even triple dip CRC races in one day. Plus, the race course was essentially on my “home field”. I don’t live in the neighborhood, but Elmwood is one of the regular Blue Shoes afternoon downtown slog jog routes and the site of an unexpected Sasquatch win in the Tame the Beast 12k in 2018. I was definitely in.

I had debated being sensible and making this my only race on Saturday. But who am I kidding? My insatiable lust for CRC points and severe case of FOMO made it virtually impossible to resist a triple dip. The first step is admitting you have a problem. Elmwood was number 2 on the docket, sandwiched between two potential trophy hunts at Go Leo Go at 8:30 and RCRC Great Pumpkin at 4:00.

I saw the course map and decided to preview the route on Thursday. In my mind, it was a flat course, figuring it stayed on top of the hill on which Elmwood Park sits. …And I would be wrong. It actually takes you down almost to the bottom of the Park St roller coaster and turns on Confederate, then essentially has you run back up on a parallel street (Lincoln). Oh man, this was going to be rough, especially repeating it at the end on the out-and-back route. However, the rest of the course was relatively flat and fast, especially the Vista greenway section. And I’m going to assume Elmwood had some kind of Halloween house decorating contest because these people went all out. Perfect for the race.

After throwing down a hard 5k at Leo, and getting brutally strollered and double chicked in the process, I was a sweaty mess by the time I got to Elmwood. I had chosen a costume both great for running and appropriate for my ego, entitled “HE’S A GOD ” by a company called “Dreamguy”. Not entirely sure whether this Greek god outfit was meant for a straight dude. It was somewhat lame by my cosplay standards, but it was virtually no hindrance to racing. Plus, I wasn’t going to run in my heavy, hot Bridgerton Duke costume picked out by Mrs. Blue Shoes. As you can tell, I was completely losing my man card this Halloween.

After a destruction of the Victory Church bathroom, I scoped out the competition at the start. I knew Regan Freeman was on board already. I step up to the line and here comes “Trackstar” Eddie Crisanto. The only race I’ve ever beaten him in is the Beer Mile. And that’s because he puked. He tells me he’s doing RCRC too. Total trophy crasher! Oh well, hopefully I could still score some points.

The gun goes off and my legs feel like complete, absolute trash. I’m getting swarmed from the get-go and getting passed left and right. Instead of flying down the opening hill on Park, I’m finding myself braking and tearing up my quads trying to reduce the pounding. Dr. Kushinka is crushing the field already, and Eddie and some other guy I don’t recognize aren’t too far behind. Regan is by himself, then a big group with me and Yerg , Parker, Jen Davis and an unknown woman in a Cinderella costume. Oh no, I can’t let someone else take the fastest costume. The slog up Lincoln is no joke but at least it’s short. It takes all the way until the Elmwood cemetery rd before I finally feel a little better. The course flattens out and the first turnaround, appropriately, is right at the cemetery gates. Mile 1 just before the cone in 6:40. Yikes, this is about 30-40 seconds off from my usual. I try to ramp it up a bit and finally take down Cinderella, but she is still looking strong. I can’t let her be the belle of the ball, because obviously that’s me. Looking ahead on the greenway, I can see Regan, and it looks like he’s all aboard the struggle bus. PERFECT. The second turnaround is on Finley Park,and I pull a NASCAR maneuver like a runaway city bus, passing Mr. Freeman on the outside. There’s a mob scene behind me so I better put it into high gear. Mile 2 in 6:15 on the way back on the Greenway. It’s cool to see everyone in this out and back section. Huge CRC turnout! I’m getting pretty gassed by this point but I know I’ll need some in the tank for that last hill. I think I’ve gapped the rest of the field but I keep having hallucinations of other runners thanks to the wind whipping through my toga dress and sash. So manly. I bottom out on Confederate avenue and take the left on Park. Sweet Jesus this is steep. Short, thankfully, but really steep. As I power up this hill I can see Eddie up ahead. I’m not going to catch him, but hopefully I can salvage a sub 20 after that opening mile. At the top it’s flat again and I am just toast. One last turn into Bryan St and I go HAM to the finish, crossing in 19:44. Standard Blue Shoes collapse, trying to not look too ridiculous, as I know Erin is directing the photog to document the sweaty cosplay mess on the pavement. 4th overall, first masters,and most importantly, first costume. I’ll take it. Took home a nice basket of Riverbanks swag and a cool skull trophy. Great race!

Overall: Marc Kushinka left everyone for dead in 17:17 , while Codie Pickett from Moncks Corner was 2nd. Eddie got third. Jen Davis was able to track down Cinderella (Andrea McCracken from Raleigh) for the top two women’s slots, while Shannon Godby was 3rd female/1st masters. Nikki Barthelemy and Joyce Welch completed the masters podium for the women, while Rob THE YERG Yerger and Prez Roy Shelley went 2-3 for the men.

Female age group: Ryan Welch won the girls 10 and under, while Sabine McGrievy was 2nd in the 11-14. Sophia Homeyer was 2nd in the 15-19 . Jessie Weaver ran in full Mandalorian costume and still took 2nd in 25-29. This is the way. Janie Campbell was 2nd in the 30-34. Brie McGrievy and Stevie Dee Dukes were 2-3 in the 45-49. Dana Kaminer, Missy Caughman and a completely unrecognizable Clara Beaudet swept the 50-54 podium. Bertha Woehl and Tee Coker were first and third in the 55-59. Melody Kreiling was champ of the 60-64, with Regina Kelly 2nd. Eileen Korpita won the 65-69. Lynn Grimes and Brigitte Smith were 1-2 in the 70-74.

Male age Group: Liam Patangan blazed a 21:38 to take the 10 and under boys, with Oliver Oates 2nd. Parker Roof was tops in the 20-24. Regan won the 25-29 while Brian Aplin was 2nd in the 30-34. Micah Simonsen was champ of the 45-49 in his comeback race! John Sherrer won the 50-54, with Michael Beaudet 3rd. Joey Swearingen and Kurt Hamm went 1-2 in the 55-59. Dave Hale PUSHED DA RUN to 1st in the 60-64. Pete O’Boyle crushed the 65-69 in 23:28 with Harry Strick 3rd. Leeds Barroll and Pete Poore went-12 in the 70-74, while Ron Hagell and Ken Lowden did the same in the 75+

Other finishers included: Ian Loughlin, Michael and Kate Ferlauto, Michael Jensen, Regina Kelly, Will Rowan, Teresa Shelton, Deanna Rennick, Gabby Swearignen, Jennifer Glass, Melinda Waldrop, Quentin McGrievy, Maria Pray, Chateau Mangaroo, Laura Howell, Heather and Brian Hawn, Bridgette Honor, Rachel Trott, Tony Claremont, Samantha Horsley, Margie Shelburg, Sue Weaver and Kristin Laughlin.