The Quarry Crusher is now in its 2nd year and, through word of mouth, has grown significantly from the inaugural event last year. Its  the most unique race in Columbia and probably the state. Imagine running a quarter mile of a typical road 5k….before descending into a mile long pit into the center of the earth. Pretty cool.

This is my second time around for this event, and it should have never happened if you go by what I swore 1000 times during last years race. But alas, the quarry is closed to the public the other 364 days of the year, and somehow my giant melon of a head started to think… it wasnt that bad, was it? 

And so I somehow I signed up for another torture session. In my sick, twisted mind I always want to do my worst races over again as if to somehow prove I don’t really suck that bad. In reality, the suckage was a lot less than I made it out to be. I finished 11th in last years race even with all the f-bombs, power walking and general misery. But there wasnt a huge amount of the publicity in the first year, so I think I might have been trophy hunting a bit. So far as I know, they don’t give trophies for 11th place.

But wait…they do if you complain enough. For calling her out as a fraud (see her promotional video from last year for reference)  and generally slandering her name in public, Merritt McHaffie, the director of the 5 points association and emcee for last years race, gave me one of their left over promotional rocks.  So far the first trophy I’ve received for being an ass. I’m sure not the last.

She also had talked about making another video with racing me her in the quarry, to settle the score. This never came about, probably because she knows my Brandi Chastain impression is way hotter.

http://www.thestate.com/2012/04/18/2239282/get-a-chance-to-run-in-columbias.html

Promo video or not, this race seemed to have a lot more buzz this year, and I heard there were over 300 registered in the week before the event. Otis Taylor from the State also ran a big article in the weekend section of the state where he professed to training specifically for this race. To the collective groans of my friends, the article also quoted this blog in a few paragraphs, further adding to my reputation as an unabashed attention whore.

Fearing the worst in this race, I apparently decided the best way to prepare for this grueling undertaking was of course to do a 5k an hour before hand. Well, Greta Dobe it last year and didnt walk at all, so I could do it too, right? I did. A fruitless trophy hunt at the Cones for a Cure 5k in Forest Acres. The Ashtons , David He and even Hayes Selbee showed up and “stole” my precious win. But that’s for another post.

To my credit, I wasnt the only insane one looking to double up on the day. James Hicks, John Gasque, Valerie Selby and Hou-Yin Chang also took part in the most idiotic double dip in history.

Part of the reason for doubling up was that I didn’t like my chances in the Crusher. I knew the Yerger would be there, and since he has about 50 less pounds to carry out of the quarry, advantage: Rob. Plus, with the size of the race growing so much, the trophy chance became significantly slimmer.

Sure enough, Dimery showed up, as well as Rick Stroud and some of his Harbison trail crew. There were also a ton of pretty fast looking dudes up at the front this year, in stark contrast to 2012. Not a whole lot of familiar faces at this race for me. I think a lot of people showed up for the novelty of the event and the sheer challenge. A lot of crossfitters, some costumes.  Sarah Blackwell, Adam Beam, and Greta were back again. Ken Cobb was there to make sure I didnt have a prayer of placing in my age group.  Jenn Covington was there to cash in her free CRC race.

I lined up a few rows back and decided to take this start a hundred times easier than the sprint I did last year. Like half marathon pace. Just scared to death of the trauma of 2012. As noted above, the first quarter mile is on the roads near Olympia Mills apartments, before you enter the quarry. Once you go through the gates, there’s another quarter mile of some fairly steep, but not too bad, incline. For the uninitiated, this gives you a false sense of security. Then there’s a hard left, and its like oh dear God…  Suddenly you’re in virtual freefall down a corkscrew road into a seemingly bottomless pit. You know its bad when there’s a 10 mph speed limit sign and another one for trucks to check their brakes before the descent. It doesnt help that a pack of vultures can be seen circling the ridge above. They came to the right place.

And out come the leg sledgehammers again. I’m desperately trying to find a happy space between the pain of blasting down the decline at full speed versus the pain of trying to brake yourself against gravity. If you check my pics, you can see there’s a lot of gravity involved. FYI, there is no happy space. Either way the sledgehammers are hitting somewhere. I’m trying to be all tactical, but when Adam, then James,then Sarah,  pass me – my overwhelming grandiosity starts complaining. I latch on to James and Sarah for the rest of the way down, which I see, as forewarned, has gotten longer with the continued digging over the past year.  The leader (Kevin Trumpeter) and Dimery are already heading back up with a tenth of a mile for me to go. I guess hanging on to the lead pack is not going to happen this year.

The turnaround is just psychologically devastating. Its like you’ve reached rock bottom. HAHA. Yeah… it sucks. My goal was not to walk this year, and I swear the evil walksie voices start talking right away. But I keep telling myself to keep going. The first half is just brutal. The back of the pack is flying down at double your speed while you’re crumpled over straining to do 11 minute pace. Keep going….  Baby steps. The voices are screaming, especially when half the dudes ahead of you are already in soccer mom mode. But I’m making slow and steady progress, passing people left and right blazing away at  first time 5ker speed. Halfway up Merritt’s lounging around in her golf cart, taunting me again, saying something about her foot being in a boot from last week’s Palmetto Half.  Excuses, excuses.

I finally catch Adam at about three quarters up and he is saying something about “one more hill”. Dude must be delirious, because I know there’s least three more brutal inclines. But whatever works. On the next hill the lead girl (who had been walking) comes flying by me. Oh hell no. I start picking up the pace, but the walksie voices get louder, and I go back to my “couch to 5k” crawl. Luckily, she starts walking again and I pass her with my power jog.  Finally, I’m near the top and the 10 percent grade becomes like 3 percent, and it feels like heaven. By the time I reach the gate I’m almost up to 7 minute pace and set my sights on a guy that looks suspiciously mid thirtiesh. I try to be all stealth, but when you weigh 190 and are breathing like a rabid banshee, the element of surprise is perhaps not optimal. Nevertheless, I blow by him and actually start reaching near 5k race pace, which feels like a sprint after all the light jogging. I round the corner and see the clock still in the 25’s (I ran 28:04 last year). I blast out the last bit and finish in 26:05 or something. 17th place. The official time has me in 25:43, so I’m not sure if we briefly entered some hole in the space-time continuum, but I’ll take it. Race is supposed to be 3.7 miles, though my Garmin has 3.4 this year with a longer course. I’m thinking the Garmin is probably just in WTF? mode when it sees you going 400 feet underground.

I didnt get to stay around long, but I hear they did give out cool rocks as age group awards this year. The only problem is ..one deep age groups? I was 4th in AG so it didnt matter anyway, but every other race does top three. Do I get another rock for complaining again?

Sarah rocked a 3rd overall female, so awesome for her. Dimery won 2nd in a blazing 22:04. Hats off to the Trumpeter, who crushed the field with a 21:11. The Yerg captured my age group and Rick Stroud won the 40-44. Greta won her age group as well, along with Valerie Selby, who rocked out a brutal finishing kick. Must be all that Team Utopia South training.

Quarry Crusher..better be ready for the Blue Shoes next year.

http://quarrycrusherrun.com/results2013.pdf

Once again the Palmetto 200 and the Palmetto Half were on the same day, so I had to skip my “home field” race. Trophy agreed to submit his report on this race, which is held on the hallowed Blue Shoes training grounds and directed by our fearless marathon training leader, Ken “Captain Marathon” Calcutt.

This is the 4^th year of the Palmetto Half Marathon.  Race starts and finishes in Sandhills. This race is one I definitely look forward to.  The race director Ken Calcutt is a good friend and running companion and it’s also a course that we train on quite a bit, so I know it well.  This race usually brings out a lot of familiar faces and fast runners.  This year’s field was missing some notable faces due to the Boston Marathon and the Palmetto 200.  Most notably…the Blue Shoes.

Trophy appears to have a chip on his shoulder…a 6’3″ 195 pound pale white chip.

The weather for this race was perfect. Temps were probably high 40’s when I got there and low 50’s for most of the race.  I arrived early to beat the massive crowd and do some expected socializing.  With the Blue Shoes absent I feel it is my job as his sidekick to mingle as much as possible.  A job I take very seriously. I decided to camp out in front of Academy and survey the talent while talking to fellow running group member Nathan.  After a little while of this we join Larry, Matthew, and Tommy for a quick warm up.  We get back in time and I make my way through the crowd to near the front.  I see Plexico is here and figure he is favorite to win.  Not too many fast faces that I see.  But you never know where they will come from.

Trophy was probably warming up to make absolutely sure he had his 1:34 half pace down.

My goal for this race was to break my 1:34 curse. Up to this point I have run 4 half marathons in 1:34….all of which were within 11 seconds of each other and two were exactly the same time down to the second. Apparently I am extremely consistent in half marathons…even though I have zero consistency in a 5K. Go figure. My training had been pretty decent coming off the Columbia Full. I figured it was about 50/50 that I could break the curse and go sub 1:34.  Unfortunately I didn’t see any good pacers to start off. Where is Burgess when you need him!??!?  (Last year he was kind enough to pace me and do play by play)

Burgess likes to jibber jab during the race and then drops Trophy like a bad habit. Its all those Dr Pain /miles of smiles intervals from last year. My Burgess Project continues to do well. Bwa ha ha ha. My hopes were high for the Trophy at this one. I figured he had a 1:32 easy, maybe 1:31.

We take off and the pace is pretty fast to begin with.  I hit the first mile in sub 7 and know this might not be good. We reach the overpass and I see Plex already turning on to Two Notch and already opening up a good size lead. Shocker.  I’m feeling pretty good at this point and am just keeping steady with around a 7 pace.  The last few miles coming back down Valhalla is rough so I need to get some cushioning. I’m about 3 miles in when I realize….there is no female in front of me?!!?  Odd. Normally some fast ones will show up and whip up on me.  Hold that thought. I look to my right and here she comes. So much for that. Not only does one pass me….but 3.  They were running in a pack of sorts….each separated by about 5 feet. I had a plan to stick with them for as long as I could. Good in theory…bad execution. They dropped me quickly.

What’s worse than getting chicked? Triple chicked by three girls he doesnt even know.

Everything went pretty smoothly until the hills in Wildewood.  They sure can suck the life out of you. I got back onto Mallet hill and headed home and tried to regain my speed I had lost on the hills.  I passed a couple of guys and was feeling decent. After a little ways down Mallet Hill you get to start running against the back of the pack.  I find it actually works well and most of them are quite nice and try to motivate you.  At this point in time the sun is coming up and I’m starting to feel it…so it was definitely needed.  The run down Mallet allows you to get some momentum back…and the few streets before Valhalla aren’t bad either.  But then you get back on Valhalla and the fun begins. The first part is downhill and nice.  But then you get a few rolling hills and this can make or break you.  It’s at a point in the race when you start to wear down.  For me…it seems to be break time. I am struggling to maintain pace as I go through the hills. I’ve run them many times so I know exactly what to expect. The only good thing was that no one was passing me.

Interestingly, Trophy leaves out the nasty quarter mile mountain on Valhalla. I run it a couple times a week. Its a beast and will break you just after mile 10.

After a nice little climb we finally reach Two Notch and turn for home. After a slight rise…you get a little bit of a downhill stretch back to the overpass at Clemson. I ramp up the pace a little bit, but feel at this point it’s pointless. The ever present calculator in my head is telling me that my goal of a sub 1:34 is pretty much unattainable without running a sub 6 final two miles. But…I drudge on.  Hit the overpass and it’s as fun as always.  The finish at this race is awesome though (once you get up the overpass).   I start the descent to Sandhills and try to pick up the pace.  I was passed by a fellow who looked suspiciously like a possible age grouper a little ways back. Must track him down.  I hit the turn into Sandhills and see he is slowing.  Time to unleash the Blue Shoes (metaphorically speaking since I just bought a pair of garnet and black shoes and this was my first race in them). I do not possess many things in life…but a kick I do have. I floored it and gave it everything I had.  Apparently dude has no kick cause it wasn’t close. But fun nonetheless. If you don’t feel like you are going to die when you finish…what fun is that?!!!?  I felt like death.

A finish to make me proud. Nice job Trophy.

I wasn’t sure of my exact time. My watch had delayed a little bit at the start and I didn’t catch the time on the clock as I was racing through.  I knew it was 1:34 something…so I wasn’t too concerned. It wasn’t until I got home and checked the results that I saw it. 1:34:22.  Why is this significant?  First off….1:34.  As Alex might say…son of a bitch. Second…it is the exact same time down to the second as my 2012 Palmetto Half time and 2011 Gov Cup time.  Wow. Is this even possible?!!?  I’m starting my own business….pacing people to 1:34 half marathons!  Email me for details.

Swear? Me? Never. 

As expected Plexico won by a couple minutes. 2^nd going to James Jackson of Aiken and 3^rd to Jonathon Ross of Atlanta. The female winner was indeed the woman who was in the lead when they passed me.  Heather Costello of Lugoff. 2^nd going to Emily Schneider and 3^rd to Ashlee Sears.  Winning time for Heather was 1:28.  Apparently they decided to pick up the pace a little once they passed me.  First place for male masters went to the leader of the A training group Larry Jourdain with second going to John Bradley.  First female masters was Sharon Cole.   I didn’t talk to everyone after so not sure of PR’s and all times. The Ward family did well.  PR’s by both Heath and Jen in the half and Brady and Brooke in the 5K.  I’ll let Alex hit any other CRC members who may have placed.  I, by the way, finished 4^th in age group.  So close. And the guy I passed….indeed in my age group. Good call.

There was also a 5k going on while we suffered through the half. Mike Hedgecock squeaked out a victory over Renato Cortez, Jr.  On the female side Nicole Berzins earned the victory.

Hey that Renato guy stole my 100 bucks at Healthy Capital. Nice job, Hedge.

Trophy signing off.  (Until I run another race Alex doesn’t or I beat him)

Good luck with that. Thanks, Trophy!

The Palmetto 200 is a 200 mile relay from Columbia to Charleston (James Island county park) that is now in its 4th year, and also marks my fourth year doing the event.

My first year doing this I had no idea what I was getting into. My longest run was all of 13 miles, and I am definitely someone who needs their sleep, but the idea of traveling to Charleston by foot was too cool to turn down.

Of course, it is not actually one person doing this. Typical conversation I have every year:

Me: I’m doing a 200 mile relay this weekend.

Person: Oh my God, youre running 200 miles?

Old response: long winded description of relays,legs,vans, etc, etc.

New response: Yes. Yes I am.

If you are one of the above people, the relay is 200 miles split up among 12 people. The 200 miles are chopped up into 36 parts, called “legs”, with each person running 3 of the legs. The mileage varies 1.4-9.7, but most are in the 5-7 mile range.

My connection with the P200 goes back to my pre-blue shoes days of posting on the “sub 22 5k ” message boards on Runners World looking for training advice. As it turns out, one of the regulars was a “MrSig” , who I eventually found out was also in Columbia. Mr Sig turned out to be Brian Clyburn, “El Capitan” of our team, who basically recruited me for the first relay as an unknown.

I did the 2010 P200 like a complete idiot.  My longest run was 13 miles at the time, and I had almost 23 scheduled, supposedly as one of our faster runners. I went blasting out of the gate on my first leg (leg 3)  and died a thousand deaths on that first 8.8 miler in the broiling sun. By my third leg at 5 am (leg 27) I was walking and hallucinating, swearing (quite literally)  up and down I’d never do this again.

That was 4 relays ago.

Running the Palmetto has now become an annual tradition, overseen by Brian and his spreadsheet. Most captains will haphazardly get their team together and hope everything turns out on race day. Not the Capitan. We get several pages of color coded excel sheets with our legs, distance, expected pace and arrival departure in each exchange zone. The thing is a work of art. Our blue ridge relay sheet had some quotient of difficulty due to the hills factored in, and this one had projected dew point and temperature.   Michelangelo had the Sistine Chapel, Clyburn has his spreadsheet.

We also have at least two team runs and a team lunch…and about 20 emails counting us down toward our race day.  We are one well oiled machine by the time we toe the starting line.

The team has evolved over the years, but myself, Brian, David McNiece and Joel have been constants. For this we have earned the five stars on our team shirts ( 4 palmettos, 1 blue ridge). This year Brian’s wife Jen rejoined the team, Joel’s wife Amanda came back, Darrell “Code” Brown was in for #3, Brandon was back for his second relay,  and David’s brother Andy was also in for his second. Newbies included Winston, who had been on mine and Code’s ninja team in the blue ridge, Conner – a friend of Brandon’s,  and Julie – an FBI agent who works with Winston.  We had lost our ringer Kori from the last couple of years but had some strong replacements that would probably put us close to last years record pace.

We got to the the start line at 11:15 for our scheduled departure at noon. They stagger the start times based on projected speed, beginning at 6 am for the slowest teams and 1:30 for the fastest. One of the 1:30 teams included Dan Hartley’s Columbia Marathon team, who were cool enough to come see us off at the Columbia speedway. Jennifer Hill, Jeff Curran, Israel Bilbao, Geary McAlister, Rob Yerger, Rick Gibbons were on hand soon after we showed up.  This was nice because technically we “stole” their vans. Apparently Triangle rent a car “reservations” are more like “suggestions”. We reserved the vans probably 6 months ago, but the guys at Triangle made it sound like we were very fortunate to get 2 of their precious 15 passenger vans. Luckily Brian and Joel got there at the crack of dawn and got the last 2, with them telling the guys to hold the other van for the slackers (i.e. Myself and the Code) who were coming at 9:30.  When we got there Dan was about to blow a gasket (rightfully so) because his reserved vans were not available. He got 2 large SUVs instead. Which sucks. Really bad. You want every bit of possible room on these relays. Believe me. I would have been charged with assault on a Triangle employee, so Dan handled himself a lot better than me.

After a rundown of the rules by RD’s  Kirk and Brian, we were off with 3 other teams. Joel was runner 1 and literally the second after the start gun it starts freaking pouring rain. Total downpour. Joel, being an expereinced runner (ex collegiate) held back on the first part of this leg, which is a lap around the old Columbia motor speedway in Cayce.  Although I didnt see it, he apparently then crushed the others over the next 6 miles. David had the second leg, the only one which is mostly dirt road. He told me he wasnt at his best but still did well. He got passed by some total ringer dude in a singlet, but held his own after that. Andy had leg #3 , which completely wrecked me in 2010. 9 miles out in the broiling sun – it was now close to 80 degrees and humid to boot. Everybody got scared seeing Andy, a 17 min 5ker, suffering out there. Jennifer and Brian had strong runs down Charleston highway and took us ahead of pace. Then came the dreaded leg 6 . Leg 6 has an ungodly mountain which produces more cases of walksies than I’ve ever seen. And its long (8 miles) with no shade. Code takes off on leg 6 like its a wintertime 5k, 6:20 ish and no water. Surprisingly he motored up the mountain like a champ. However, the finish was probably 3-4 miles down the road and I think he barely made it. Apparently he caught the walksies shortly after the hill, and by the time he finsihed he was complete toast. I as half worried I might need to take him to an ER, but apprently this rare compound called dihydrogen monoxide was able to revive him. Go figure. Amanda then blazed through her 1.7 mile leg in St Matthws (the shortest in the relay). Winston has been training like a beast of late with the times to prove it (39:09 I think at the bridge run 10k) . He blasted through a 6 miler in the blazing heat like it was nothing, 6:30ish pace I believe. Julie then took the handoff for leg 9. She is one of the very rare runners who is not a slave to a Garmin, so she had no idea what her pace was. She took off in total beast mode, and damned if she didnt rock a 4 miler at 7:15 pace. Conner and Brandon took the next two legs out of Cameron, SC, leaving me to run #12 in the tiny town of Elloree.

My first leg was an 8 miler , my longest of the relay, going from Elloree to Santee State park. The leg didnt look too bad on paper, elevation wise.  By the time I took the handoff from Brandon, it was just after 7 pm, and still freaking hot. I had initially opted for the reflective vest on white hairy chest ensemble, but my fashion police on the van (julie and the Code) gave the “chest thong” a definite thumbs down. One need only to see my leg 12 pic at blue ridge to see what an awful sight that is. Fearing arrest in Elloree, I went with the white tech shirt instead. When I got the relay bracelet, I took off like a complete moron. About a mile in, I seemed to be laboring too much for the 7 minute pace I was trying to hit. Garmin spits back a 6:18. NICE JOB HERO. And that was just the beginning. The next 5 miles were a complete death march. Got overheated and had to slow down big time. Whats worse were about 3 miles on a dirt road in the epicenter of nowhere. I was all alone and was wishing for the sweet release of death about 4 miles in, cursing myself  over and over.  These dirt hills kept coming out of nowhere and sucking my life away. One part was so muddy I had to stop and walk around it for about 20 meters lest I lose my blue racers in the sludge. I finally caught up with Curtis from the Darlington Marathon team who looked like he was hurting just as a  bad. I finally hit the entrance to Santee State Park and was so glad to be done…except apparently the entrance road is over 2 miles. Nice. After thinking the end was around the next turn for 15 minutes, I finally saw Joel at the exchange zone. I was a total wreck after I passed off the bracelet. Basically a nice mix of pukish and pass outish. I think I scared a couple of locals docking their boat at the lake afterward. Its imagine its not often to see a half naked delirious albino saquatch taking an ice bath in Lake Moultrie.

It was dark after my leg and we left van 1 (Joel, Andy, David, Jen, Brian and Amanda) to go to work while van 2 ( myself, code, julie, winston, brandon, conner) got dinner at Lone Star Barbeque near Santee. Its a nationally known place profiled on the food network. So good. I highly recommend it.

We had some downtime before Code’s leg 18, so we went ahead to that exchange zone and finally started to see some more teams. With us starting so late, the first 12 legs were pretty desolate. I made the first use of a relay essential – the sleeping bag. I guess you can sleep in the van, though if youre 6’3″ its not exactly comfortable. Of course, finding the key elements of sleeping bag placement is difficult – you want low noise, no bugs/snakes, somewhere you can be found, and most importantly – somewhere where you will NOT be run over by a white 15 passenger van. I crashed out for a bit on the bag, but didnt really sleep as it was only 10 pm or so. The night sky is amazing in Cross, SC though.

Van 1 put in some good runs on their shift and had gotten us closer to spreadsheet pace by the time Code got the handoff for leg 18.  I was a bit concerned about the Code, since this was 9 miles , and not too far removed from the brutal leg 6 and a full belly of barbeque. Not sure when he went off but I think it was close to midnight. Sure enough, the Code was hurting and cussing up a storm when he finally arrived. In reality I think it was like 7:30 pace but he made it seem like he was out for a stroll with his mom. After Jen took leg 19 we were finally back in regular rotation.  My memory gets a little hazy at this point, mostly because I was driving and trying to avoid all the teams we were now catching up with. Just mobs of teams, some with people on bikes shadowing the female runners. Thats nice of them, but the last thing I want to do is a freaking brick workout in the middle of the relay. Sorry ladies.

We put together a nice string of legs in the middle of the night. It was MUCH cooler and the terrain gets a lot flatter as well as you get closer to the coast. Somewhere Conner said he made contact with one of the other Columbia teams – Girls Gone Run, which had Joyce Welch , Ellen Rodillo-Fowler and Dand Burgess. Joyce apparently completely chicked Conner. Sorry dude, she’s fast. I had leg 24 next, a very short 2.3 mile leg near Moncks Corner. It was now 3:30 in the morning, and had gotten damn cold. Julie had a short leg before mine, but I was freezing my ass off every time I got out of the van, so I waited to the last minute. I see Julie coming close when I get to the exchange when I realize WHERE IS MY BIB??. Answer: in the freaking van 100 meters away. So I haul ass to the van , grab the bib and fly back. Julie has just arrived and is frantically looking for an albino beast but cant find me. After a few tense seconds, I go flying by at mach 5, grab the bracelet and take off. I start off relatively easy, 6:40ish , ramp it up to 6:20 then blast it out the remaining .30 in sub 6 pace, desperately trying to make up at least some of that total fail from leg 1.  Two guys doing 10 minute pace briefly feared for their lives until my freight train self passed by with my new 50 dollar beacon-esque headlamp. I was at a full out sprint when I handed off to the Capitan.  Leg 24 was done in 15 minutes, so I then jumped in the van, jacked up on adrenaline and headed to our last van flip at zone 31 (Jennie Moore Elementary in Mt Pleasant).

We got there at about 4:30ish and its a total ghost town. We’ve apparently gone from behind everybody to completely in front.  There are literally 4 vans in the parking lot and its dead silent. PERFECT! I grab my sleeping bag and pillow and hop on a picnic table, which is like the freaking tempur-pedic bed of relays. No bugs, no getting run over, and with hardly anyone else at the zone, completely free of loud talkers. I jumped that table like a sailor on shore leave and sleep like a champ for a good hour and a half. When I wake up its still completely quiet and getting light. I feel like I’m on drugs because I actually  got some rest, which is like gold for these overnight relays. My only regret is looking over and seeing Travis Cowan in a hammock – now that is the way to go next time. He was shouldering some  ultra distance for his team which included his wife Stephanie and “barefoot” John Richards.

We had about an hour to spare during we went to town on a Chick Fil A in Mount Pleasant. When we got back Amanda with van 1 was en route, and she came blazing into the school to hand off to Julie. Julie , being a newbie to the team, had all the short legs, so she again crushed out another 5kish distance like a minute under spreadsheet pace. She’s definitely getting more work next time. Winston then had a 5 miler and blasted out some more sub 7 pace over the IOP connector. He unfortunately was supposed to do 6:40ish the whole time. The Capitan showed him some tough love! Brandon took leg 33 and laid down another 4.4 over the Ben Sawyer bridge like a boss. Code took the next leg, and he was toast by his own account. Still, he had only 3.1 miles, so I had to hurry down to Patriots Point to get Conner ready for leg 35.  Turns out I missed the parking lot for the exchange zone, and decide to take the next turn to turn around…which ends up being the on-ramp to the freaking Ravenel (Cooper River) Bridge. The bridge is almost 2 miles long, so I’m flying across it, deathly afraid of the Code just sitting there waiting. I take the first exit and then pull an action movie style U-turn that Julie assures me would pass at FBI driving school. I fly back at breakneck speed,  and make it to the exchange zone with less than 5 minutes to spare.  Conner probably got like 30 seconds to stretch before Code comes around the corner. After the handoff, I  took a shortcut to Mason Prep (near Montagu and Lockwood) and prepare for my final, and the team’s final, leg 36. Unfortunately Chick Fil A has decided to make its presence known, so me and the Mason Prep portapotty got to be very good friends. I am forever sorry to my fellow anchor leggers who followed after me. Finally Conner showed up after a run around the peninsula and I was left with my 6.66 mile, mark-of-the-beast anchor leg. I made plenty sure not to go out too fast, because the sun was blazing and it was already in the 70’s again. I knew we were too slow to break last years time, but I had a chance at getting us under 24 hours. Leg 36 is nuts – you have to cross like six heavily trafficked streets and cross 2 bridges. I had to stop quite a few times in the first few miles and wait for cars, trying to weigh a sub 24 versus my life. Luckily, they had quite a few cops out, and one time the guy brought like a hundred cars to a standstill to let me go by. All I could give him was a thumbs up, because I was starting to hurt. I was still pulling 7:15 pace with all the traffic, but the sun and heat were just killing me. This was the hottest weekend of the year so far, and I was definitely not used to it yet. I was so glad to finally get over the second bridge into James Island, but it seemed even more steamy once I got to the endless road to the finish at James Island County Park. Somehow I managed to get to the park, but I was dying. The park itself gave me a big adrenaline boost. I think I saw Girls Gone Run cheer at me on the way in, but it might have been a hallucination. It was killing me how long it was taking to get to the finish even though I was in the park. Finally I saw Julie and a couple of gold VOTR shirts in the distance and I threw down all that I had left – sucking wind and flopping around. I thought I was dead until I saw the clock and it was still in the 29’s (we were six hours off the clock, which meant 23’s for us). As my teammates started surrounding me for the run in, I misread the clock as 29: 59: 50 something and I went into some insane blue shoe kick that would rival my 5k finishes. I balsted across the finish at mach 5 , with the actual finish at 23:56:50 something. Under 24 hours!

The post race spread was awesome with food by sticky fingers and three kinds of beer. I made sure to get my 2 drafts, though I know better than the 2011 relay where I chugged 3 pints and was fighting the pukes for hours afterwards. The Capitan seemed pleased with the team’s performance, and I know I was – we lost a beast of a runner in Kori and still were only a couple of minutes off last years record. Code and I didnt exactly tear it up, but the others, especially Winston and Julie in our van,  more than made up for it.

The best part came a day later. FIRST PLACE. We were the winners of the mixed team category and 4th overall, out of 70+ teams. Incredible! Looks like we’ll have an even tougher standard to beat next year. I’m already scared of that spreadsheet!

http://www.palmetto200.com/palmetto200/2013-results

The Bunny Hop 5k is a new race this year put on by the downtown YMCA that goes to benefit their Partners with Youth program. In addition to being a new race, the event features a completely original course that runs from the corner of Washington and Sumter into the Robert Mills House area and back. Its a little strange, because at the far end of the out-and-back route is a two block double loop that you run like 2 laps on a track before heading back. Oh, and its flat. Not completely pancake, but pretty close.

There were three races on the Tour de Columbia this weekend, so I had to plan my trophy hunt carefully. Newberry was out, because they advertise prize money. This usually attracts people who are actually fast, like your Ashtons, Bishops and Plexicos, which completely ruins my chances.  The Resurrection run seemed appealing, because its usually very small, but I’ve noticed they still get winners below 18 minutes, so again, no chance. Plus, its held on the Cold Winters Day course, which I’ve run a million times, and will again in a couple of weeks at the Cones for a Cure. So Bunny Hop it was.

Although it was a first time race, YMCA’s Erin Roof was directing and Strictly was timing, so little chance of a Judicata flashback.

Did I mention my goal for the race? Well it was to stop the suck. Last two weeks had been a nightmare with my back injury. You would think that your injuries, when you participate in one activity maniacally and obsessively, would be related to that activity. Nope, I think it involved an overzealous snooze button hit a couple of weeks ago. I guess I’m not 18 anymore. One option would be not to race when you’re injured. But that would be a trauma too much for me to bear. Last week featured a long course, 40 degree rain and a 20:16 time. Oh, the horror.

But this week was better. Back was pretty much back to adequately supporting my sasquatchian physique, and the weather was nice for racing – overcast and cool. I showed up a little later than usual and saw a welcome sight – race shirts.

Now it is a very middle schoolish thing, but every regular road racer knows the fashion faux pas of wearing the race shirt to the race. Kind of screams couch to 5ker.  Not only did the Bunny Hop feature a bright blue tech shirt (which of course I approve) but there was a sea of blue in the crowd. Awesome.

One problem with the trophy hunt was the very real prospect of getting chicked again. Kenzie Riddle destroyed me at the Healthy Capital, and Amy McDonaugh was signed up for this one. Amy didnt have a guide for this race but Erin arranged a guy with a neon jacket and a bike to help. She asked me to make sure she stayed on course. I told her I’d be glad to keep her in sight much less direct her. I told Amy she really should slow down to help me out. Not a chance.

Erin also mentioned her son Parker was going to try and break 20 minutes and pointed me out as a pacer for him. Between the blue shoes, melon head and albino gorilla habitus, I stnad out in a crowd. Go figure.  I dont think I had actually met Parker before, though I tried like hell to track him down at the dam tri relay, when he had a three minute head start on the 4 mile run course. Didnt happen..the kid is fast.  I also heard his name a hundred times at the Pumpkin Run last year, when he was on my tail for most of the race and was clearly the hometown favorite.

At the start there were no singlet dudes, so that boded well.  Rick Gibbons, Pete Poore, J-Reeves, Wes and Rhea Spratt, Jeffrey Smith, Ashley Horton, Patti Lowden, Sharon Sherbourne and Henry Holt were some of the familiar faces, but really not a whole lot of people I knew. Gavin Ferguson, the kid that had me scared at the beginning of the Velocity Distance Project 5k, was also there.  A bunch of young dudes who lokoed relatively fit lined up at the front, so a potential wild card.

I blasted out hard from the start, but damned if Amy and 10 guys left me for dead in the first quarter mile, including Gavin and Parker.Are these kids going for sub 18? I was afraid I was starting to suck again, so I manned up and tried to keep all these guys in range. The last thing I wanted to do is get chicked and middle schooled.  First mile is almost all flat. I felt pretty good but was nervous about my placement as the first mile approached. I did pull even with Parker, who stuck to me like glue for a while, but I could tell he was hurting already with that sprint start. We hit the mile mark together …6:01. Didnt know we were going that fast, so I yelled out to Parker the split, hoping maybe he could slow down to keep from bonking.

After the first mile we started doubling back for the two-three block second lap. Amy had a nice lead and 4 other guys were still ahead of me. Looked like a couple kids and two guys that I was deathly afraid might be age groupers.  Things got a little dicey on the second mile, as we started threading into the back of the pack still on their first loop. I basically had to give these guys a wide berth. The last thing I wanted to do was for someone’s first race experience to be getting run over by a blue shoed truck. I did a fair amount of dodging and lost track of where the leaders were in the crowd. I was hurting but the flat course certainly helped me maintain the pace. Mile 2 came back at like 6 flat. Holy crap. Yes, I wanted to die, but it would be nice to PR.  Just past the mile mark we broke free of the pack and headed for home, so I could see everyone ahead of me. Amy’s lead had grown some but 4 guys were getting reeled back in.

And like David Banner when his eyes turned green, seeing potential road kill makes me a maniac. So with a mile to go, I just said F$%^ it and went for it. Arms pumping, lungs burning, pure blue shoe kick. Passed two of the guys  in the next 400 meters or so, leaving Amy and two guys to go. I finally caught the next guy with less than a half mile to go. I was in a world of pain but I could tell dude #4 was hurting worse and looking slightly over his shoulder. Probably wondering what the hell escaped from Riverbanks. As we made the last turn you could see the finish line. Between seeing the finish, being deathly afraid of this teenagers sprint speed, and seeing the 18’s again on the clock, I reached into some dark, scary place and found some other gear.  Amy finished a good bit ahead of me, but I suddenly realized I was in second place, and I threw down some adrenaline fueled 5 minute pace to the finish. 18:59! Garmin actually had my run at 3.18 miles, so 5:58 pace overall by the watch.  I apparently need to have better field vision when selecting my holes in the back of the pack defense. The course is certified.

But wait…this also meant I was first male. Trophy time! OK, so it doesnt really count as a win, but I have no shame when it comes to my precious trophies. And if you’re going to get chicked, at least let it be someone smokin fast. Amy won overall in 18:42.  The “four guys” (Mike Galdieri, AJ Enoch, Kevin Raymond and Josh Horton) finished in 19:04, 19:08, 19:15 and 19:31. Brian Talkington, who I remember racing at Runway, finsihed in 20:01/7th. Parker couldnt quite reach his goal, though 20:15 for a 13 year old (1st in AG) is still impressive. Other age groupers included Marie Demetriades first in the 2-14, Gavin finished 3rd in the guys division.  Ashley won second in the 25-29, just a few seconds from first. The Roof family claimed another winner with Joe taking first in the 45-49. Rick Gibbons barely won his age group by a mere six minutes. Wes Spratt impressed his tri friends Les and Frank by fighting off all the 55-59 competition and “winning” his age group of one. I’ll give him a break since he qualified for the 70.3 (half ironman) championships in San Juan 2 weeks ago. Pete Poore also won his age group by showing up, though he ran a strong time. Patti Lowden, Sharon Sherbourne, and the Holts all easily claimed age group glory as well.

It may hurt my trophy hunt for next year, but I won 100 bucks of Mast General Store gift cards, an hour massage at Hand and Stone and 2 free Columbia historic house tour tickets. Very nice swag!

http://www.strictlyrunning.com/RESULTS/13BUNNYHOP.TXT

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/290789764

The Healthy Capital is a 5k held at Columbia High School (mascot is the Capitals) that is put on to benefit the school. Its been a favorite of mine, as I set a PR there back in 2010 and the race is always well done. They typically have the high school band out there, lots of enthusiastic volunteers, and a hot dog cookout after the race. Ive missed the race the last two years though due to conflicts with the Palmetto 200 and the Rosewood Eagles 5k.

As it turns out every start up 5k in the city decided to hold their event on March 23, which didnt help registration for this race (or any of the others for that matter). There were literally five 5ks in the Columbia area yesterday. A couple of them I wasnt even aware of until after the fact. I’m someone constantly scanning the internet, my gym, running stores, etc. for races, so if I havent heard of your race in my hometown, clearly the advertising is less then optimal.

Of course, the dark side of the Blue Shoes sees this scenario as a perfect storm for trophy hunting. Healthy Cap was the only Tour de Columbia race, and a known quality event, so I had already signed up a couple of weeks ago. Shenequa Coles is the race director and an active runner in the community, so that always assures someone actually knows what they’re doing. Plus, at 15 bucks for early registration, this is the cheapest race on tour.

Given that this is an established race, on the TDC and offering prize money, it was definitely not the trophy hunt pick of the day. I saw that Trophy was racing somewhere, but he knows better than to let me in as to where.

When I got to the race site, it was absolutely miserable. Temp was 40 degrees and just a total downpour. Couldn’t believe it was late March and the weather was still sucking this bad. The only worse race for weather was the Make my Day 12k. At least this race was on roads and not the trails.

Turnout looked pretty light with all the other races going on and virtually zero race day registration. I don’t think too many people woke up and thought it would be a great day to race. I had a minimal warmup, basically doing a few laps around the parking lot and a couple of strides. Scouting the competition, I didn’t see any known male elites. There was one fast looking dude I’d never seen before, but no one else. This is a high school race , so I thought there was always the chance at some random cross country dude coming out. Among the women, Kenzie Riddle was there with Erin Miller, so at least the female side had some competition. I figured Kenzie would probably win this thing. Of course, that also meant that maybe, just maybe I could get some overall glory for myself.  Kenzie would usually kick my ass, but we virtually tied at Cold Winters Day, and I beat her At Race for the Place when she had an off day. Unfortunately I’ve been a wreck most of last week. Followed up the Get to the Green with 15 more miles on Sunday, and my back didnt like it one bit. Had to recover the rest of the week, though I did get in 7 miles on Thursday without any problems.

With the weather, only the diehards turned out for this one. J-Reeves was coming back from a month off due to illness and moving. There’s about a 99 percent chance  of Ponamarev, Gasque , Pete Poore and Rocky showing up, and sure enough all were there to score some easy age group points. Valerie Selby  and James Hicks were also on board. Sheila was also on the comeback trail after being in a boot most of the last few months. Andy Mikula and Paul Drohomirecky were some other familiar faces. I had a chance to meet new CRC member Dana Burgess and Pam Inman as well.

The start of this race is always nuts, but it was made more comical by all of us running from the high school out to the start because of the downpour. You start at the top of a hill and every time a pack of high schoolers fly down at sprint speed before basically stopping at the bottom. After all the high schoolers cashed out,  fast dude  and Kenzie were ahead about 20 meters and I was all alone.  I tried to keep the two leaders in sight. I was going back and forth a bit. I started reeling them in at one point but then either I faded or they kicked it up a notch. First mile was in 5:57, which is inflated on the speedy side because of the freefall for the first quarter mile.  The second mile is mostly flat but I was getting lost. I used to know the course like the back of my hand, but we were taking a turn away from what I remember.  I was worried at this point because I was afraid it was going to make the course way short. I was also finding it really, really hard to give a damn at this point. Shoes were getting waterlogged, the rain was beating down, I wasn’t making much headway on the top two.  Running completely by yourself also doesnt help either. I was losing my sense of pace and motivation was super low. I had a decent lead on number 4 judging by the volunteer cheers,  so phoning it in seemed like a pretty good idea.  I hit mile two at 6:30, which is about my 10k pace, though  I actually never checked my Garmin because my long sleeves had completely plastered themselves to my arms.   We finally took a turn that I recognized and I realized we had gone around the original course for some reason. The whole last mile just sucked. Legs felt ok but had zero motivation to ramp it up. Plus I knew the end was a long slog up the hill we ran down to start. Finally I turned right to start the mountain climb, and I hear my Garmin beep at mile 3 WAY too far from the finish. Ruh roh. I can still see Kenzie and fast guy, who had been running like they were joined at the hip the whole race. I think fast guy was tucked in behind her some, letting her set the pace, which he then used to unleash a wicked kick to pass her at the end. I saw this happen pretty far away, because I was locked into a debbie downer mindset trying to scale Mt. Capital going pretty slow and wishing for death.  I looked up at the clock and saw what I thought was 18:30 so I thought I was still going to race a decent time. WRONG. I turn into the parking lot and realize I’m already over 20 minutes. WTF?? Finished in 20:16, 3rd overall, 1st in AG.  I was stunned by the time initially until I checked the Garmin and realized a 3.2 mile course and I had just run two 10k pace miles to finish. Nice.

After taking some pics, I went back and checked the course. It turns out they had to divert part of the race because the regular course was a total lake. Completely flooded. I would have had to swim across this thing, and anyone who knows my swimming knows thats not a good thing.

Fast guy turned out to be pretty nice, for a trophy thief. He (Renato Cortez) lives in Whittier, California and was just running on a whim. Damn him for being fast and taking my hundred bucks. Kenzie of course won the female race in 19:25 and 2nd place overall.  Erin finished abut  30 seconds behind me and took 2nd female, followed by Andy Mikula and Paul Drohomirecky. James Hicks also scored himself an open point by finishing 10th , first in 30-34.  Sheila won second in the female 30-34.  Dana Burgess and Shenequa Coles went 1-2 in the 40-44.  Shannon Mosely finished first in the 45-49, and Gasque won the 50-54. Valerie crushed her rival in the 55-59 by 12 minutes, while Alex Ponamarev and Pete Poore filled out the 60-64. Rocky Soderberg won the 70+ by showing up. When its 40 degrees and raining, and 4 other races are going on, sometimes thats all you have to do.

But wait…to make things worse, I get a text with this:

Trophy’s trophy. Yep, he ran his previous trophy race, the Special Olympics 5k in Swansea, and won it again. By like 5 minutes. A two time champion. Well played, Trophy, well played.

http://www.strictlyrunning.com/RESULTS/13CAP.TXT

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/288106695

The Get to the Green 5k is a yearly tradition in Columbia and officially opens the St Patty’s Day festival in Five Points. Its usually been a good benchmark 5k for me, and my times have slowly gotten better since first running it in 2009. For those interested, the 2009 Get to the Green is also the last time Trophy beat me in a 5k. Just thought he would want you to be aware of that.

This is a cool race. I mean, I’m mostly Irish, it’s on St Patty’s weekend, its a 5k , and there’s beer at the end. What’s not to love? The only downside is that the thing is huge..like thousands of people. This of course is an affront to my raison d’etre  , the trophy hunt. You can’t hunt for trophies in gigantic races where everyone and their mom comes out for a huge event. Somewhere there has to be those impossibly fit soccer dads that come out of hiding, never racing except to unexpectedly spoil your chance at post race bling. Damn them. My only “trophy” in this race was because they gave out awards down to 5th place. And who got the token fifth place tubular cooler award last year? THIS GUY.

But this year they added a 10k, presumably doubling my age group glory chances. Having two races automatically creates the tried and true trophy strategy, “the undercard”.  Ah, the undercard. All the studs in their singlets out competing their hardest in the 10k, while I duke it out with the stroller moms and noobs in the 5k.  But hey, thats just because everyone thinks its harder, and thus more prestigious, to race a longer distance. I swear I’ve overheard 6 hour marathoners poo pooing  races being “just a 5k”. Makes me want to grab their hand and take them out on a nice 6 minute pace stroll.

So I signed up for the 5k months ago.  Yes, I’m trying to break 40 in the 10k, but old habits die hard I guess.

The 10k started 30 minutes before the 5k, so I showed up about 15 minutes before the “main event” to take some pics.  There seemed to be a fairly small crowd , and I immediately feared I might have chosen the wrong race. Ashton was there to collect his check, but I didnt immediately see a lot of other elite types. Kenzie appeared to be likely to place among the women, Tigs was also there to compete for the overall and masters. But Eric Allers, Winston Holliday and, dare I say ,  THE CODE were probably the next fastest I knew.    So much for the undercard.

After the 10k took off I tried desperately to get ready for the 5k. Desperately,  in that I had tweaked my lower back the day before and I was trying every maneuver possible to try and make it less tight.  I think people thought I was practicing some new, awkwardly stiff form of yoga. No luck – I was forced to run like a chicken. The smart thing would have been to bag the race and try again next week. I’m not that smart though.

The 5k didnt have Ashton but Justin Bishop and Tim Jeffreys were there to battle it out for the win. Drew Williams ran like 10 miles before the race but was probably going to kick my ass anyway and take the age group.  Lots of 35-39 looking dudes out there.  I saw Ken Cobb at the last minute and knew it would probably be 3rd at best for me. Team Clyburn, Trophy, John Gasque, Ponamarev, James Hicks and Travis Moran were also on hand.  Both of Team Vowles, minus Kenneth, were there, thankfully sparing me getting beat by a middle schooler.  The Outlaws, Griffins and Henry Holt were there as well.  I saw Jennifer Heath and her son John at the start…no word on Jeff?

I tried to haul ass with the start to avoid getting trampled, except my new stiffback running form wasnt exactly making me fast. A quarter mile in the crowd thinned somewhat and I was left running with Travis for the third time in a month. Also Steve Brooks, the guy I chased at part two of the triple dip, was just ahead of me.  It was nice to have some breathing room, because my back wasnt loving any lateral movement. That quickly came to a halt about ahalf mile in, when we climbed a hill and turned on to King Street. This street shared part of the 10k  course, and all of a sudden I’m dodging the 9-10 minute pace pack of the longer race. I was having to pick a seam and use Travis as my blocker. I nearly took out an older lady as I darted between her and a car mirror. You do not want to be in the way of the sasquatch at 5k pace, believe me.  I hit the first mile at 6:22 , about 20 seconds slower than normal, so this confirms what I already know: this race is going to suck.  I thought for a while the back may be loosening up some in mile 2, but apparently I was mistaken.  We turned again on to Ravenel St and by lumbosacral joint decided to goose me. Ouch.  Mile 2 was mercifully flatter but just couldnt get any speed going. I was at least keeping Travis close ahead though, and I think I passed Steve near the end of the mile. Identical 6:22 split. OK, so I’m already close to 45 seconds off my last real 5k (excluding the triple dip) , so I focus on two things: making damn sure I dont go over 20 minutes, and for the love of all that is holy…don’t get Trophied. So I try a little harder. I’m not getting much faster though, because my chicken footed steps arent helping at all. I finally turn on to Devine, and you can see the finish, though its agonizingly far away.  And I’m just toast. Travis kicks it in, and I have to let him go. At some point Code comes up and tries to Seabiscuit me to the finish, but I’m running on fumes by this point. My Garmin spits out a 6:12 split for mile 3, but WTF? the finish is still so far away. Meanwhile I make out the clock and its already at 19:30 or so. Son of a bitch. I then throw everything out the window in a mad dash for the line, breathing like a rabbit on coke, and flop across in 19:57.  Just ridiculous to be this spent running a 5k over a minute slower than the PR.  Turns out I did get 5th in age group though, scoring me a coffee mug and a water bottle. Nice. If it cant be a trophy, at least give me something useful. Oh, and thankfully Trophy decided not have a career day, finishing around 21 minutes. Uh oh, blackjack is back.  But wait a second…checking my Garmin, it shows a 6:16 pace and a 3.19 mile course,  so definitely a bit long. My secret sources inform me they probably set up the finish at the wrong marker. 3.11 miles gives me a 19:27 or so, which is more what the race felt like. Oh well, still got the sub 20 and didnt get Trophied, so I’ll take it.

Results are looking a little messed up right now, but it seems Tim Jeffreys won the 5k, with the  “A Standard” finishing third. Both had times considerably slower than usual.  Amanda Charlton won 2nd overall female.  Eddie , Jason Dimery and Drew all finished top 10. Ken Cobb and Phil Midden both displaced me further in the AG and wildcard Kevin Robinson also took me down. Times across the board are slow, so I’m thinking the long course is real. Laura Howell apparently set a course record for her (and placed 4th in AG), so she would have really torn it up on a legit 3.11. Age groupers also included Emma Charlton, Travis (19:51),  Jen Clyburn, Brian Clyburn,  Colleen Vowles,  Marshall Ramsey, Mike Griffin, Mickie Ishizue, Kim La, Pete O’Boyle, Talley Lattimore, Bill Iskrzak,  Alex Ponamarev, Catherine Lempesis, Margaret Holt and Rocky Soderberg.

Ashton won the 10k in a complete rout. I think Kenzie took second overall female. Winston crushed a sub 40 10k, finally getting his goal, and taking masters. Whitney Keen also PR’d in 42:15. Code finished a shade over 40 in a strong race. Brady Ward won his age group. Shaggy Hodukovich scored an age group placement, though I’m assuming he changed into the green hash dress AFTER the race. Ken Sekley, Lorikay Keinzle, Coleen Strasburger, Larry Bates, Tommy Outlaw, Mike Wainscott, Carol Wallace, Cheryl Outlaw, Pete Poor , Lynn Grimes, Patti Lowden, Ken Lowden, Del Soule, and Henry Holt also age grouped.

http://racesonlineresults.com/events/get-to-the-green/results/2013

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/284960896

One of the most difficult aspects of trophy hunting is choosing the right race. I mean, nothing is more frustrating than carefully calculating the factors of rurality, small attendance, the undercard event,  and poor publicity only to have Joe McSpeedy home from college come out in his singlet and blow it all to hell. Of course, what if you didn’t have to choose? What if the stars aligned for three races to be perfectly geographically and temporally spaced to allow for the rarest of rare among the obsessively race addicted – the triple dip?

John Gasque, who runs our Tour de Columbia, first pointed this out to me a few months back. Sure enough, on March 2, my birthday weekend no less,  a possible triple dip had shaped up. The March for Meals 5k at Riverbanks Zoo was at 7:30, a new race called the Colorectal Cancer Awareness 5k was at 8:30 at Maxcy Gregg park, and Race Judicata was at 10 at Hand Middle School.  It was going to be tight, but physically possible, to get all three in. The main logistical factor was the March for Meals -Colorectal transition. March for Meals has a brutal course that will either produce a slow time or physically destroy you…possibly both.  There’s about 10 minutes minimum between the Zoo and Maxcy Gregg. So even blasting out the MFM 5k, hauling ass into downtown, finding a parking spot and picking up the race packet was going to take at least 45 minutes. Notice I failed to mention physically recovering from a grueling 5k effort. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

With the triple dip in place, I sent out the opportunity in the Columbia Running Club newsletter in attempt to get some takers. Sure enough there were a few others that were also psychotic enough to give it a try.  Gasque, James Hicks, and Cheryl and Tommy Outlaw were on board. Valerie Selby, Henry Holt and Carol Caulk were also interested but were going to double dip instead. I offered five bonus Tour de Columbia points to anyone finishing all three.

And lets not forget Trophy. He gets wind of my triple attempt and sees a prime opportunity to end his 4 year losing streak in 5ks, and signs up for Judicata, the 3rd race. Well, I figure if he’s going that route, by all means people should know about it. The week prior I made sure the showdown was prominently featured in the newsletter and on the CRC facebook page. Pretty soon Trophy realized he had gotten himself into a lose-lose situation  – win and its because I was weakened by three 5ks, lose and its an even greater shame.

Besides beating Trophy, my main goal was to break 20 minutes in March for Meals, the last Columbia race I had yet to accomplish this. I also hoped to at least pick up some age group placements in the other 2 races.

I arrrived at March for Meals about an hour early, and the place is already packed…excpet no one’s in the zoo. Everyone is in the outside parking lot that I was goign to use for my quick getaway. It takes me a few minutes but then I realize the problem – a very long train is just sitting there on the tracks blocking the entrance. No one can get in. I run a mile warmup and come back, and there’s no movement of the train. I stroll up to the entrance road, and Annie the RD is trying everything humanly possible to get this train moving. The bad part is that she knows it will delay the start, probably to 8:00. I’m already panicking, because there’s no way to make it to Colorectal in time with a late start. Luckily a few minutes later she tells us she can probably get things going at 7:45. Man this is going to be close. This race has already had some bad luck – it had to be postponed last year because of a tornado watch.

Finally the train starts moving and we all get into the zoo at 7:30,  right when the race was supposed to start. I grab my bib and painfully watch minutes tick away at the start.  At 7:46 we get the go ahead to start, which is amazingly quick considering the amount of people registered. With the start I take off like a maniac, as every second is going to count in getting downtown in time for race #2.  Plexico and two kids blast out from the front , along with a crossfit guy behind them. I lag behind mr crossfit and try to tightrope that fine line between optimal speed and complete bonkapalooza. You have to blaze the flat part of this course. Why? Because a good part of mile 2 is a tightly winding 12 percent grade through a mountain on the other side of the river from the zoo. You’re doing well to do 8 minute pace up the worst part of it. I mean, there are freaking steps on this thing.  My first year doing this race I didnt know about the mountain and about puked up a lung trying to climb it. Luckily crossfit guy wasnt quite prepared either, and I pass him on one of the staircases. By the time I reach the top I am sucking some serious wind. They then make you dip a little and run up another incline. Awesome. Following this torture is a complete freefall on a paved road down the other side. There is no elegant way to go down this thing, especially since the mountain climbing has just obliterated you. I basically flop myself down the hill, feels like I’m beating my quads with a sledgehammer. Back over the bridge and you have to wind through the back alleys of a number of animal exhibits. One of these is the elephant area. I assure you when you’re breathing at maximum capacity, elephant poop is 100 times more unpleasant. I can see the two kids ahead of me, but I can tell I probably wont be able to catch them. I have no idea what my pace is, because my new Garmin went into power save mode waiting at the start. As I approach the final stretch in the parking lot, I can make out low 19’s, so I blast it hard and finish in 19:45, a course record by 30 seconds (though dates back to 2011). Goal number one reached. I had no idea at the time, but also managed 4th overall and 1st in AG. I am half delirious, but as soon as I stumble past the finish, I turn around, grab my camera from Trophy (who came to watch) and a water, and start walk/jogging to my car. And I am just toast. I jump in the car still gasping for breath and take off..departure time 8:09 from the zoo.

After flying down the highway ,  Huger, and Blossom St, I pull into Maxcy Gregg right at 8:20. I had to make myself a parking spot on the grass, and run another quarter mile to the packet pick-up. Of course everyone’s done with that so I’m able to get my bib immediately, and  just in time at 8:25. Whew. So I made it, barely. Did I mention I was still wrecked from March for Meals?  I was. Like ready-to-jog-the-Colorectal wrecked. I lined up still sweating from MFM and all the stress in getting downtown. Somehow Gasque and James made it there in time, having even less time to work with. Gasque was smart as he had done early packet pick up and didnt have to deal with that aspect. He’s an experienced double dipper. At the start I realize there’s no elite people at all. A trophy hunter’s dream. Except this trophy hunter is at 40 percent tops, so all I’m thinking about is finishing.

Until the race starts of course. Lead guy , who looks pretty fit, jumps out and starts gapping the field very early. OK, so an unknown ringer, I thought.  His friend, a shorter guy is back quite a bit in second, and a girl/guy tandem is running together right in front of me. I take off probably close to 7 minute pace, just figuring I need to tempo this run and save some for the Trophy showdown. Problem is that a mile into the race, lead guy has slowed down and I can easily see the pace car. And even in my weakened state, I start getting manaiacally competitive again. I pass the couple and start ramping up the pace . OK, just hang out here and you’ll be good. But damned if the other guys start falling back a bit. After a 7 minute first mile, I hit mile 2 at like 6:30. Lead runner is still in range and number 2 is looking back . Probably can hear the sasquatch footfalls. I start closing in on number two but he actually kicks it in some in the last half mile. After ramping it up into near actual 5k pace, I back off because I know I have third in the bag (letting cars in behind me) and my legs are jello anyway.  I cross in 20:23 3rd overall, 1st in AG.

There was actually plenty of time between Colorectal and Judicata, especially since the two races are so close together. I made sure to rehydrate and actually eat a little. Still pretty obliterated from March for Meals but the Colorectal tempo-ish run seemed to flush out some of the lactic acid.  Instead of speeding down the road in a half delirious state, I was able to leisurely make my way to Shandon.

Trophy was already there, preparing for his big moment. The Diesels have showed up to document the showdown. Pretty meager crowd for this one.  The Color Run had a couple thousand people and presumably some people who do actual road races, and between this and the two other races, Judicata was left the scraps. This race is always a crapshoot. On one hand the course is awesomely flat and they usually have nice gift certificates for awards. On the other hand, the race is put on by a group of law students, that changes each year,  most of whom have no idea what they are doing. Last year they did 20 year age groups. In 2010 they had a volunteer leading everybody the wrong way.

At the start Plex is there for his double dip, and to assure that the Trophy-Blue Shoes challenge doesnt end up being a fight for the win.  Gasque, James Hicks, and the Outlaws are there to complete their triple dipping as well. Henry Holt, Valerie Selby and Carol Caulk are the also there for their second race of the morning.  Geary, Travis Moran and Amanda Charlton are on board to make sure we keep up the pace.  CRC members Ashley Horton and Bryn Schiele are there, along with The State’s Otis Taylor, who has been gearing up for his first half marathon (Columbia Marathon half) the next week.

With the starting gun, Trophy blasts off like its a 400 meter race. Knowing my only goal is to beat him, and not knowing how my endurance is going to hold up,  I tuck in behind him and let him set the pace.  After a half mile I pull even with him , engaging in a little Billy Tisdale psychological warfare.  In the distance I can see Jen and Diesel,  so I pass Trophy and start throwing down. This is not what I wanted to do, and possibly a recipe for disaster, but my tendency towards being an attention whore apparently overrides any sense of race strategy.  My new Garmin is still giving me trouble, so apparently I let it power down again and its not on.  The mile marker has a guy reading times and he yells out a 6:04. ?? Pretty sure the mile mark or the time is wrong.  In either case, Trophy is behind me.  Our absolute sprint/kick is pretty similar,  and he’s definitely going to win that battle after my 3 5ks, so I feel like I have to have a nice lead near the end.  Plexico is already in another zip code, but Travis is running not too far ahead in 2nd. I use him as a pacer and try to reel him in as much as I can. Surprisingly, once the initial pain of ramping back up to race pace is done, I feel relatively OK. Relative to wanting to die, at least.  I’m able to hold the same pace through the second mile.  About 2.25 miles in, I see Plex pop out of a side street ahead and I realize something isnt right. I know there’s a turn off to the right at some point but I don’t see anything marked and Travis is going straight, following Ryan. Damned if I’m turning right on one of these streets just to have Trophy beat me on a misdirect, so I just follow the two ahead of me.  We turn left at the end of the next block and realize were back on the right course. Another right and its just a straightaway to the finish. Nothing helps me more than a glimmer of red clock digits, so I blast into a world of pain as usual. Travis’ kick apparently is pretty strong because he’s able to hold back the rabid bear behind him. In the last block I do take one cautionary look back just to make sure Trophy isnt going to stealth blue shoe me.  Luckily, nobody is there.  The clock tells me the course is ridiculously short, low 17’s, so I coast on in. Finished in 17:37, 3rd overall, 1st in AG. Informal garmin survey had the distance in the 2.9’s, so probably a decent time for me anyway, but I guess I’ll never know.

Trophy did finish about a minute later (18:32, 5th overall) .  In addition to this being a no-win situation for him,  I should note he had been sick in the week leading up to the race and less than 100% on race day too.  Victory is still sweet though.

Gasque, James, and the Outlaws all completed their triples, along with Henry Holt, Carol Caulk, Valerie Selby and the Plex doubling up.  The Lightning brought home two easy wins. They did correct the age groups down to 10 year increments…until age 50, where apparently they just gave up  and lumped everyone from 50-98 in the same group.  WTF?  Something tells me were going to have to have a meeting with these guys next year if they want to be on the Tour de Columbia.   I did win a 20 dollar gift certificate to the Tropical Grill downtown, which I doubt I’ll make it to – so let me know if you want it!

http://runningtime.info/2013/030213R.htm

http://www.strictlyrunning.com/RESULTS/13COLORECTAL.TXT

http://www.strictlyrunning.com/RESULTS/13JUDICATA.TXT

The Make my Day 12k is now in its 4th year, put on by Half Moon Outfitters and going to benefit Friends of Harbison State Forest.  The race has grown a lot by word of mouth because of the cool shirts, socks and other swag you get with registration. Plus, its still just 25 bucks. Its competed with other races before, so somehow I never made it out to the MMD previously.

I should preface this race with the fact that I exceedingly suck at trail races. They favor the small and the agile, and I am decidedly neither. You get nearly 200 pounds of albino sasquatch moving and it tends to keep moving, so all the stops, starts and dodging on trails is a hell a lot of extra work. And then there’s Harbison State Forest. She and I have all the close, loving relationship of a vindictivel ex-girlfriend. Read: not good.  My last tango with Ms. Harbison came last year in the Xterra half marathon, which was as much fun as a waterboarding session. Somewhere there are some ungodly awful finish pics of me –  pale, shirtless and delirious – crossing the line at 2:15 plus.  Lots of walksies and dehydration going on.

One of the most difficult aspects of trail running for me is wondering where the hell I am. I have no sense of direction, which generally isn’t aided by staring at the ground at high speed desperately trying not to fall.  So I will get lost if the trail isnt well marked, but just as important is not knowing how far it is to the finish. I can gauge my pace down to within 10 seconds on the roads, but I’m completely useless on the trails. Plus, even knowing how much distance is left doesnt tell you if its a soft straight downhill to the finish or some arduous nightmare of switchbacks and mountain climbing.

OK, enough bitching and moaning.. Oh wait, did I mention it was in the mid 30’s and raining at race time?  I’d like to voice a complaint about that. OK, done.

I got to the race 45 minutes early and there was already a big crowd. This race has continued to grow. Sure enough the shirts and socks were really nice. No Clint Eastwood this year, but  a high quality tech shirt just the same. Did I mention it was blue? Awesome.  They kept up the best AG awards ever – plastic guns you can wear as a medal. Not that I had any chance at getting one.  They have had 10 year age groups, and I knew Drew Soltau, Drew Williams, Rob Yerger and Ken Cobb were already signed up in the 30-39. Trophy and Charley from our sunday long run group were also there to represent in the thirties.  If that wasn’t competitive enough, a few bearded , scrawny, Anton Krupicka types were roaming around and looking pretty thirtiesh too.

Bri Hartley, Birgit Spann, the Diesels, the Howells, Ted, Dean , Rick , the Clyburns, Geary, Arnold Floyd, Henry Holt, Valerie, Sarah Blackwell, Winston Holliday, Ramsey,  Sekley,  Mike Wainscott, Frank Eichstaedt, Jason Thompson and Jim Lichty were some of the familiar faces.

With the start, Drew Soltau takes off like a maniac, though the rest of us maintained a more leisurely pace. I had major PTSD from Xterra, so I made sure I was going plenty slow in the beginning. I planned on using Geary as a pacer, since he’s a good trail runner and knew the course. My Garmin apparently never got started so I was flying completely blind. I ran with a pack that included Geary, Rob Yerger and Bri Hartley for the first few miles. Greg Howell and Dean took off from the front, but I figured I might be able to catch them later. I’ll save you the suspense: NOPE.  Speaking of going out fast, Charley and his dog Winston were already way ahead just a mile or so in. Charley took a brutal fall but popped right up seemingly not losing a step. I didn’t see him for a long time. A few miles in and the pack has thinned some. I passed Bri and was praying that I wouldn’t get chicked by an 11 year old girl. An incredibly talented 11 year old girl, but you don’t want to get beat by someone born in the 2000’s.  And, I knew Trophy had to be back there somewhere. That would be an even worse shame. I focused on keeping Geary and the Yerg in sight. We went on for what seemed like forever in this formation.

Did I mention it was cold? It was. VERY.  I was actually wearing my old school CRC jacket and it was soaked through.  There were bits of sleet and an occasional wet snowflake or two falling, but mostly just soaking, bone-chilling rain. Several areas on the trail were just complete mud pits. I was trying my best to avoid the worst, slowing to basically a walk at times, but I think I was witnessing the death of my latest blue racing flats. Why I couldn’t just break down and wear my heavier trail shoes is beyond me.  Oh wait – overwhelming maniacal competitiveness… that’s it. Some nasty hills in the middle.  The Midlands Mountain trail is no joke. I was exceedingly thankful we turned away from the Spider Woman trail – many horrible memories from Xterra lie there.

Luckily the trail was marked very well, because I had no clue where I was, or how far I had to go. At some point there was actually a five on the trail, so I assumed this to be 5 miles. Of course, trail courses are anything but accurate in distance. I had heard the 12k (7.4 miles) was more like eight.  At some point I passed Geary on one of the hills, though I know he was close behind with his industrial machine breathing.  Then I saw Charley and Winston up ahead.  I was thinking total roadkill, but I’ll be damned if Winston isnt dragging Charley up these hills. Every time I got close on the inclines they would pull away a little on the downslopes. I started ratcheting up the pace a bit so I would be sure to catch them by the finish. But apparently Charley was doing the same thing.  I got real close on a particularly steep hill, but he pulled away again on the straightaway. At the top of the hill we passed a field that I recognized and I started to realize we were getting close. I ramped up the pace a little harder but wasnt making much headway on the Charley gap. And then suddenly, there’s the finish. I crossed in 59:20 something, 20th place.  As mentioned , my Garmin was never started, but informal survey of others had the course around 7.8 to 7.9 miles.  I wasnt thrilled with the result, but not too bad considering the trail and conditions.  And at least I didnt get Trophied. Charley, Clyburn , Rob and Greg all kicked my butt though.

Drew Soltau ended up in 3rd behind two guys from the upstate. Bri won overall female in a close battle with Birgit. I dont know all the age groupers since I missed a little of the award ceremony desperately trying to stay warm in my car. Dean, Brady Ward, Sarah Blackwell, Henry Holt, Arnold Floyd, and Winston Holliday all took home some glory. I’ll have to check for the complete results when they get posted.

The Red Shoe Run is a 5k and 10k put on by Ronald McDonald house that was known in years past as the “Red Nose Run”. Apparently they lost the sponsorship of the circus, hence the name change. The  name is referencing the shoes of Ronald McDonald, a clown who was my personal nemesis in elementary school.  Him and that bastard Old McDonald and his farm.

So somehow I’ve done this race every year, despite the fact that I’ve pretty much sucked every time I’ve run it. I started in 2009, when it was held on the coldest day in Columbia since 1986. The low was 9 degrees that morning, and I ran the 5k in full sweatsuit regalia, adding another couple of pounds to my less than svelte frame at the time. I about died sprinting out the last 100 meters to finish in a blazing 25:36. I did the 10k the next year, when they had a really cool course that crossed over the blossom and gervais st bridges into Cayce. I think I ran about 45 minutes and didnt place in my age group. Oh, and it was a beautiful 34 degrees and in a frigid downpour. The next two years they modified the course to take out the scenic aspect of the 10k and made it 2 miserable loops of the 5k course. Awesome.

I had gone back and forth about which race to run this week, and finally decided on the 10k. Yes, it sucks to climb the monster hill that starts the course twice, but its still a lot better than trying to do it once at 5k pace. Also, I need to start doing more 10ks to whittle down my PR of 41:23, which is way slower than what it should be based on the 5k PR (18:46).

So I get there and have just placed the 10k registration in the volunteer’s hand when Jordan from Strictly comes over and tells me everything’s changed. They’re doing major construction at the Coliseum area, so the course had to be switched to the BGCM Turkey Day 5k course, which made the 10k uncertified, and changed the Palmetto Grand Prix race to the 5k.

Holy crap, my whole carefully planned race strategy was now completely in up in the air. I impulsively switched to the 5k when I heard “uncertified course”.  But then I realized that all the big dawgs were switching to the 5k too, and I might be missing a rare reverse undercard trophy possibility in the 10k. I’m  embarrassed to say how much I agonized over this ridiculous meaningless decision. I almost switched back a dozen times, but eventually I figured that there would have to be a complete “kids and old ladies” field for me to overall place in a 10k, so I just stayed put.

Sure enough Jason Dimery, Howie Phan and a few lean looking dudes in singlets lined up for the earlier 10k start, so that at least released me from my trophy fantasy. Mark Robertson, Jim Lichty , Valerie Selby and Travis Cowan also manned up for the longer distance.

5k start was loaded with all the Palmetto Grand Prix champs from 2012, since Strictly comped them all an entry into this race. Sadly, they had nothing for Mr. 13th place. John Sneed, J-Lybrand, Geary, Billy Tisdale, Amy McDonaugh (with Justin “A Standard” Bishop guiding) Birgit Spann, Sharon Cole, Lightning Plexico, Thomas Tapp, Albert Anderson, Arnold Floyd, Henry Holt and Rocky Soderberg were all present with the PGP champion gold racing bibs. Joining me in the ranks of mere mortals were Trophy, Jen/Diesel/Brady Ward, Gasque, Pete Poore, J-Reeves, and Palmetto 200 ringer Andy McNiece.

I was so not feeling it at the start, but I had made my bed so i’d better lie in it. One bonus was that only Amy, Justin and Plex were from the open division in the PGP.  Andy was sure to beat me too, so what I saw was basically a battle between Billy and I for 5th place. The start felt rough and immediately I saw Amy and Justin leave me for dead, and Billy started gapping me right off the bat.  After a flat quarter mile, the course goes straight up a mountain from the Colonial Center to the Horseshoe. Although I was able to basically draw even with Billy at the top, I had also lost my will to live somewhere just past Assembly. Or at least the will to run like a headless chicken and suck wind for the next 15 minutes. I missed the one mile split but looked down at about 1.1 and saw the watch flip over to 7 minutes, so I knew this was going to be ugly. Billy was a few paces ahead, but it was starting to get congested as we caught the tail end of the 10k, which started 7 minutes before the five. Why they couldnt have everybody go off at the same time is beyond me. So the second mile is very difficult to pace because there’s no other 5kers around me, and the back of the 10k is going at 12 minute pace, which makes me feel like I’m a total beast. It doesnt take much for me to lapse into delusional grandiosity. I just try and keep Billy in range, with our typical give and take of me  catching up on the hills and him gapping me on the declines. Mile 2 feels slowish so I dont bother to look at the split. I figure I need to make up some serious ground on mile 3 or I’m going to post something really ugly, and/or get blue shoed by Geary or maybe even Trophy. So I do kick it up a notch, but there’s considerably less motivation in just trying to not suck versus striving for your best. The good thing is that the last mile is a flat to downhill loop near Longstreet Theatre, passing by such revered collegiate Blue Shoe landmarks as Hunter Gatherer and Sandy’s Hotdogs. After a turn at the back of the State House, its straight down that awful opening mountain. Blazing fast by default. By this time though I’m really phoning it in – the only glory up for grabs is sprinting to catch Billy, and between his kick and my apathy its just not happening. I make the last turn and its already 19:20 something. I do throw in a feeble effort to break 19:40 but end up right on it. 6th place overall, 1st in AG.

Certainly less than overjoyed with the time, but I was able to cross the finish and not collapse in a sweaty, heaving mess as I’m prone to do. I ran the exact same time on Thanksgiving day on the same course and about blew out a set of heart and lungs in the process trying to beat my brother. Plus, last mile was in 5:59, so a sub six mile is always nice, even if it was freefalling down a half mile of mountain. Hopefully I can ratchet it up a few notches at my next race, which is Race for the Place on Feb. 9.  Last year Gomez took 3rd in AG at that race..with an 18:36.

In the 10k, Dimery crushed a sub 37 on a really tough course, so he’s definitely returning to form. Two of the singlet kids took 2nd and 3rd, while 16 year old Anna Johnson won the women’s race. I probably would have finished 7th in the 10k, so good thing I didnt switch. Mark finished 2nd in AG while Lichty finsihed 3rd in strong races for both of them. Howie Phan predictably torched his age group by 5 minutes, while Valerie Selby and Alex Ponamarev also placed.

In my race, Plex easily won in 17:20 followed by Andy. Justin placed third by guiding Amy to an 18:36, a new PR, and the women’s overall win. Very impressive.  Fifth went to Billy, who finished five seconds ahead of me. Second place female went to Lache Kimana, who unmercifully chicked the Trophy, with Birgit Spann not far behind for third. Brady Ward made the Diesels proud by winnign his age group by a mere 20 minutes. Mrs. Diesel claimed first in the 30-34, while Trophy broke through the Blackjack barrier en route to a 20:45, 2nd in AG. Sharon Cole claimed first in the 45-49, while 50-54 was swept by Billy, Thomas Tapp and Gasque. Geary and Albert Anderson each crushed their age groups, while Pete Poore placed 3rd in the 60-64. John Sneed and Arnold Floyd had an epic fight to the finish, with Arnold holding off a vicious Sneed kick. Both finished first in AG. Rocky Soder berg and Henry Holt finsihed 2-3 within ten seconds of each other, while Margaret Holt also won her group.

http://www.strictlyrunning.com/results/13redshoe.txt