See Spot Run is a 5k put on by the Humane Society, now in its third year. It is a race close to my heart, given it was my first overall placement. It was originally held at Riverfront Park in its first year, in June. All I remember was it was hot…brutal.  It was run on a cool double bridge course, which was scenic but unfortunately took you right by the chicken plant in 378 – not the best smelling area of Columbia. I was trying to chase down Amy McDonaugh in that race and was failing miserably, but somehow managed to pass a then unknown Ken Sekley in the final half mile to take 3rd overall male in 19:47.  For my efforts I won free entry into the next years race. I managed to unearth this photo from 2010, in which I appear to outweigh the other overall winners combined:

The next year it was moved to Earlewood Park,   in June again and again famously blazing hot.  The course was completely new, and a total hillfest. I showed up early that year to jog the course and it probably would have been better to be blissfully ignorant.  It sucks you in with a flat to screaming downhill first mile, then wipes you out with a slog up a big hill, turn around, go down that hill again, then kills you with a trip right back up that downhill first mile. I finished in 20:09 and felt good about it – most people were at least 30-45 seconds off their usual times. The Blue Shoe kick claimed another victim in Will Brumbach but Sekley exacted revenge and crushed me by nearly a minute. Code and Amy also destroyed me. That year also featured “THE DOG” – a mascot costumed runner thats doing the race for charity. What most of the crowd doesnt know is the dog is also Randy Finn, a 17 minute 5ker. It must of been about 200 degrees in that suit last year and it still took every ounce of my effort not to get mascotted. Poor Rick Gibbons was the lucky one to get outkicked by the dog at the finish and thus appear in all the promotional flyers for the race, even though they didnt explain Rick finished 11th overall in the race. 

http://sc.milesplit.com/meets/95261/results/162114/print

This year they mercifully moved the race date up a few weeks, which made a huge difference in the weather. Basically as close to perfect as you can get in May – cool, slight breeze, 60ish. I was worried the turnout would be a lot worse with both the Red bank 5k and Going the Extra Mile 5k on the same day, but it looked like a decent crowd.  Oh, and dont forget the John Petrey 5k in West Columbia, which had my trophy hunting sense tingling. Trophy claimed he wasnt racing, but I figured about even chances he would show up at that one.

I had already stalked my age group on the Strictly Running site (advanced trophy hunting technique and completely ridiculous), so I knew Angel Manuel and Steven Johnson were going to be there to make my chances at even age group placing difficult. My only hope was to finish 3rd in AG or hope one or more of those guys placed in the overall. Rick , the Diesels, Karen, Brad Steele, Rocky, Alex Ponamarev, Meg Weis, Will Brumbach, Sekley, Joe Tomlin, Teo, Charley, Crazy Legs, and Sarah Blackwell were a few of the familiar faces.  My goal in the race was to break 20 minutes, no easy task on this course. And did I mention I was doubling up with a second 5k in Charleston that afternoon? Yeah I’m an idiot.

Typical banshee start to a 5k. Brumbach told me in the first 100 meters he was going to lurk behind me this year and not get blue shoed again. Meg was right at my side in the first half mile and started surging here and there, so I made a point to hang with her and not give in to my typical “this sucks why do i do this every weekend” self talk in the first mile.  Although it helped I was able to keep pace with her, it didnt do wonders for my self esteem that the freaking DOG was kicking my ass.  The course drops off a cliff just before the mile mark and Meg flies ahead of me along with Mr buff younger guy. Man I suck on downhills. Luckily I was able to draw even with Meg and mr buff just before the mile mark. Burgess is calling out splits and gives us a 6:05. Way to save up for the hills. I manage to surge ahead during the flat part in the middle of mile 2, but Buff apparently cant take the shame of getting passed by an albino 37 year old sasquatch so he passes me back just before the first brutal hill.  The go go gadget quads of steel kick into high gear and I power past him again on the hill. I’m sucking a fair amount of wind but definitely feel a lot stronger than last year. At the top of the hill is the turn around, and I’m actually not too far off the overall lead (by position at least, if not absolute time).  At the turn I can hear what I correctly assume to be Sekley chasing me down hardcore. I surge after the turn and set my sights on DOG, who is finally starting to fade. I didnt catch my mile 2 split..which is around 6:30. Finally at the bottom of the hill I am able to overtake the seven foot giant yellow mascot, though from the reaction of the bystanders I know his furry ass is right behind me. My race paranoia sets in and I’m starting to regret shaming Rick in the last CRC newsletter. I begin to worry of a brutal karma payback with my face on the 2013 See Spot flyer. So I go ahead and empty the tank – blasting up the final quarter mile beast of a hill as hard as I can go. I know the whole time there are people not too far behind me. I figure Sekley, Meg, Will , Mr Buff, DOG…all are ready to take me down. So I decide to redline it some more at the top, and I am about toast, but too afraid to slow up.  apparently I’m willing to go into cardiac arrest to avoid the shame of getting mascotted. Luckily the last tenth is all downhill again, and I sprint it out at about 500 beats per minute and finish in 19:39. Turns out Angel placed 3rd, so I got 2nd in AG behind Steven, which I’m pretty jacked about. Even more happy about the 30 second improvement from last year, though the heat certainly played a role in 2011.

I did beat the mascot, but I still got dogged…Alejandro Arreola and his dog placed 5th human/1st canine in 19:06.  A teenager Hardie Cate won overall, followed by Joe Tomlin and Angel. Steven placed 4th.  Sekley and Will finished just behind me, but Meg was the lucky winner of the DOG finish photo this year:

She did win the female overall, so cant argue with that though. Schmitz won his new 40-44 age group, and Rocky won his for the 1000th time. Sarah, Teo and Rick also placed in their age groups.

http://www.strictlyrunning.com/RESULTS/12SPOT.TXT

Thanks to John Richards for providing the on-course photos!

The Get in the Pink 5k/10k is an event in its 4^th year , hosted by Kicks (a women’s shoe store on Devine St) and put on to raise money for Save our Suzy, a foundation to help those living with breast cancer. This is my 3^rd year doing the race. Crazy as it sounds to me now, I passed on the race in the first year (2009) because it was just a 10k then and I didnt know if I could actually run that whole distance.

A year of hard training later and I certainly could finish the 10k, but I was also a beginning student in the school of trophy hunting. Then it was less about the overall and trying to score as many Tour de Columbia points as possible. So I did one of the cornerstone moves of TH methodology: the undercard. All other things being equal, and the shorter, less glamorous distance will be the easier one. Let the thin singlet guys battle it out in a war of attrition. I ‘ll take my chances against the strollers , couch-to-5kers and kids. Anyway, I recall an epic battle with Coke Mann and Tigs, managing to outkick them and about lose my grip on life, see here:

Suprisingly that race (19:44) earned me a 4^th overall, again, because all the big dawgs were in the 10k. I played the undercard yet again in 2011 in a completely shameless TH move. I was looking to score a good 10k time that year, but my lust for little metal trinkets apparently knows no bounds. I entered the 5k last minute.

Now one thing that has been cool about this race is the separation of the 5k and 10k by 45 minutes. Theoretically, someone could run both, though I dont think its been done. In 2011 I was on the start line and got to see a good bit of the 10kers finish, so by the time I was finishing the 5k most of the crowd was gathered at the finish line already. As I approached the last half mile straightaway, I was in 4^th place again with the 3^rd place guy seemingly just out of reach. Knowing my predilection for being a bit of an attention whore, in addition to the carrot of a trophy/overall placement, set up the perfect storm for an epic blue shoes kick. I threw down a sprint that I don’t think I’ve matched since – a complete scalded, headless chicken, arm-flailing 3:50ish pace blast. Passed the other guy with like 20 meters to go to take 3^rd place, and about had a coronary, but it did score me 40 bucks. It was a bit of a fakeout though, because I used the shield of the slowest 10kers to pull a stealth pass. For this I apologize, Mr. Steve Fink.

I knew I had probably hit the well too many times to trophy hunt at this race this year, so I went ahead and finally manned up to the 10k. The race had grown beyond the TH criteria anyway.  I knew this course to be tough by the looks of it on the map. It starts out great – about 3 miles of flat and downhill, but anyone familiar with a loop course knows you’ll have to pay that back. Sure enough, at the worst possible time in a 10k, you have to start climbing in mile 4. Although it flattens out in sections, there is nothing but a steady rise all the way to the end.

I decided to run his race in a very non-Blue Shoes  way – conservatively. I was still shell shocked from my Wildewood 15k nightmare from last week, in which everything just seemed to shut down. Plus Burgess beat me like a drum – my ego cant take that.

Race had a good crowd at the startof the 10k- Amy McDonaugh, Ted Hewitt, Billy Tisdale, Burgess, Lots of J’s -J-Lybrand, J-Reeves, J-Covington;  Yerger, Shufy,  Adam Beam, Flicker,  OJ, E. Ashton and John Charlton were some of the familiar faces. Jeanna Moffett had brought out her “Run for God” group which was everywhere, though most were doing the 5k.  Tigs was there for moral support, since she wasnt racing. Code and Trophy were MIA.

I walked up to the start and was taking pictures from the front row, when I turned around to face the starter…when she basically , without warning, just said GO!! What the??? All of a sudden I swivel around, my car key in one hand and my cell phone in the other, and I’m furiously trying to put the phone in my belt at about 6 minute pace. Eric Ashton had been off to the side and he pulls onto the street going about Mach 5.  I finally got my phone packed away but I decided just to carry the key instead of waste anymore energy.  All of a sudden my Garmin gives me a mile lap time about 100 meters in, and I realize its just tacking on distance to my warmup. Apparently I didnt reset it at the start line. I can’t believe I forgot to do that in the 1.34 seconds before the gun. Oh well,  I should stop being a slave to the Garmin anyway. I had given myself a few days off from running in an effort to recharge after last week, though I had been doing a lot of swimming and biking in its place, so I wasnt sure how the legs would respond. They actually felt really good. However, the late hills on this course coupled with a fresh experience with an epic bonk made me hold things in check.  I could see Yerger and Amy ahead ,though they were already gapping me pretty bad. I decided to focus on Flicker, “neon shirt guy” and “black shirt guy” as targets.  First 2 miles felt pretty good, and I basically maintained my position pulling an effort slightly harder than tempo. I knew Burgess and perhaps Lybrand were probably right behind me. This was confirmed when a spectator caught my eye at the bottom of the decline. I couldnt make out any facial features, but I can recognize the Code from long distance, having chased him down for years now. I had a flash of terror, because I was distictly afraid he was going to Seabiscuit me for 4 miles. He did that to me at Get to the Green and I about coughed up a lung, though he made me do a 6:02 mile on fumes. He didnt do that, but he did inform me Burgess was right on my tail. I broke one of my cardinal racing rules and sure enough he was tracking me down. NOT AGAIN!! I think I picked it up a little on the straightaway down on Shady Lane, though I was fearful of the mountain in my future.  Black shirt and I were steady gaining on Neon who appeared to be hurting. We both passed him at about 3.5 miles and started the climb out of Lake Katherine. I think I had made this mountain considerably larger in my head, because when I finally reached the hills, they werent that bad.  It helped I hadnt been killing the pace prior to that too, I guess. The next 2 miles I slowly creeped on Black shirt, but Flicker was leaving both in the dust. I was trying to mount some kind of surge, but I knew Flicker and Yerger (i.e. my known age group competition) were too far ahead to catch. Black shirt had all gray hair, so I thought it was unlikely he was in my AG.  They were letting cars go behind us, so I knew we had dropped the rest of the field. The sum total of this was not a whole lot of motivation.

As we hit the straightaway on Devine St, I figured the least I could do is track down Black shirt. He was about 10 meters ahead with about a half mile to go when an ambulance came through Millwood and Devine , stopping us both. After it passed, black shirt takes off like a banshee. I’m right behind him and consider blasting the headless chicken kick, but I can see the clock in the high 41’s and know I’m neither setting a PR or placing any higher in my AG. I wasnt even sure if there was any overall points left. So for the first time in history I decided to finish calmly. No flopping arms, no headless chicken.  My general feeling was that it wasnt fair to pass somebody since he had been stopped slightly longer by the ambulance. To his credit, he was kicking pretty hard anyway, so it would have been close without the stop. So I saved the blue shoes for another day and finished in 42:10, 10th overall and 3rd in AG. Not bad given the effort.

10k was dominated by Ashton again this year, and the 32:16 is smoking even for him. OJ and John Charlton finished  a couple minutes later for 2nd and 3rd. Tisdale notched a sub 40 and qualified for the Cooper River first corral. Amy won the female overall by 4 minutes over Erin Miller and Jordan Maki.  Yerger is in complete beast mode and helped pace/guide Amy. Both finished in 40 minutes flat. Flicker finished about a minute behind them and another minute later was me and black shirt, who actually has a name, which is Winston Holiday.

5k was won by Andy McNiece, who was on my Palmetto 200 team “Van on the Run”. Drew Williams and Steven Johnson finished 2nd and 3rd, with Hedgecock right behind them, who won masters. Ken Cobb , who I remember beating at Capital City Safe last year, has clearly exited my league with an 18:25. Kenzie Riddle blasted a PR in 18:27 and won the female overall. Turns out my 19:22 from 2011 would have gotten me 9th place this year, so good thing I  didnt attempt a trophy hunt.

Speaking of trophy hunting though… Tyler sought out a small 5k in Camden on Saturday, having lied in his emails to our running group about not racing and probably paying hush money to the Diesels to keep me away. For his deceit, he was rewarded with 2nd place and 50 bucks. I would be pissed about his trickery, but I have to stand in awe of his beautifully played Trophy Hunt. The only justice is that he got beat by over a minute by a 15 year old .

http://www.strictlyrunning.com/results/12getinthepink.txt

Pics on the course are courtesy of John Richards – thanks John!

The Wildewood Fitness Festival is a first time event held just a half mile from my doorstep, with a hybrid (half trail/half roads) 15k and 4 mile trail race. Proceeds go to benefit Camp Kemo.

I was jacked the first time I heard about this race a few months ago. I’ve been waiting to do a 15k ever since they stopped holding the Labor Day 15k out at Columbia International in 2009. That race was actually my first non-5k, and I jogged about 75 percent of it (being scared to death of the longer distance) en route to  a 1:16.  This remains my PR since it was the only time I got to do that particular distance. So I was glad to have an opportunity to finally race the 15k again and take down this old mark. The bonus was the course, which I knew like the back of my hand, as all of it was on my usual training routes.

That being said, I also knew the course to be a real challenge. Total hillfest.

I got to the race actually a little later than usual, despite having a 60 second drive to the start line. Met up with the Code, Burgess, J-Lybrand and Charley and did a mile warm up. One thing immediately evident was that it was freaking hot. And humid. Felt like I was running in a Snuggie. Plus my legs were already protesting. I decided to run some on Friday, which I usually completely take off, and then I couldnt resist taking Anton’s bike (which I’m planning to buy) for a spin that evening. Dumb move.  I think my legs may have been in some PTSD mode, still fearing I was going to spontaneously enter a Tri again, now that I was cycling. Anyway you look at it, I was not feeling it. But sometimes I feel that way and end up having a good race once I get going, so all was not lost….right?

Not so much. There was a decent crowd at the start, lots of familiar faces. Big dogs Plexico, OJ Striggles, Frank “Dr. Chicago” Clark , Jeremy Becraft and Shawanna White were all toeing the line. A couple from Try Sports, who I think I remember from either the blue ridge or palmetto 200 relay, were there from out of town. Yerger, Burgess, J-Reeves, Wes Spratt, Code, J-Lybrand, the Outlaws + Gizmo, Coleen Strasburger, Ken Cobb, Charley + Winston, Team Griffin, Shufy Rowe, and Paige Tyler were just some of the regular racers in attendance.

My plan in this race was to run at half marathon pace and see if I could pick it up late. This would equate to 6:50ish. Multiple choice time…. 1) My last half marathon was a) my PR b) on a pool table flat road course in Charleston c) held in 35 degree temps with zero humidity or d) all of the above. If you guessed D , then you are the lucky winner. Question 2. This race is a) half trail b) a cluster of hills c) 70+ degrees and 90 percent humidity or d) all of the above. You get the picture. But at least its 6k shorter.

The start of this race seemed fairly leisurely, though the heat was already , as I mentioned, snuggie-esque. I settled in just behind the Code , next to Burgess, with Charley and his dog Winston just behind.  Polo Rd was pretty flat , and as you enter Sesqui for the trail section, downhill. Hit the first mile right at 6:50, so about where I wanted to be according to plan. What was not planned was the fact I already felt like death. Legs just felt tired and dead, and I was breathing way harder than I should have. I was a) really starting to hate my decision to both run and bike on the day before the race and b) cursing my decision not to trophy hunt and go for the 4 miler. Mile 2 in 7:15 , so already slowing. Then came the climb back out of the park. Fun stuff. Whats a hill without sand to completely suck any of your momentum? 1.5 miles later and I was sucking WAY too much wind this early. But at least the incline was ending and we were headed out of Sesqui. Burgess, who had been at my side the whole way, seemed to be feeling a lot better than me. He thought I was going to drop him once we hit the roads. Not going to happen. I’m pretty sure we must of taken about 3 months running in Sesqui, because the second we came out of the park it felt like August. The sun had come out with a vengeance, and there was zero breeze. Burgess and I both got chicked by a woman doing the 4 miler kicking it in to the finish, and we then had to suffer the cruelty of passing by the finish line and head out into Wildewood for another 5.3 miles. Mallet Hill Road, the main road of Wildewood, is completely exposed near Polo, and suddenly any life spirit left my body. Pace began to suffer immediately and Burgess started to drop me. Apparently I wasnt the only one hurting because all of a sudden I see Code standing on the side of the road. He decides to start running again when he sees me and Burgess, and says he’s going to turn around in a mile. He probably would have, but as we turn into the neighborhood I’m pretty much pulling 8 min pace, and he’s dropping me too. Now speed is always relative, and for some eight minute pace is fast, just as Plexico probably runs my 5k Pr pace on an easy day. But 8 min pace is basically my Sunday long run. For me to have a bib on, and ostensibly in a race, its almost too much to bear.  One of the streets is Lame Horse Rd. and I’m thinking someone has a very cruel sense of humor.On the very limited bright side, at least no one is passing me. Apparently the heat and hills are taking their toll on everyone.

Burgess, Code and I are in a straight line by mile 5 when there’s a turn earlier than the course map had drawn out (at upper pond instead of old still), and I’m wondering (perhaps praying?) of there’s been a misdirect cutting off some of the distance. We hit mile 6 right in line with the marker, so my next thought is they have altered the course somewhat.  The next section of the course is a killer, as I remember from the map. Running Fox Rd has a long brutal incline with a steep decline on the other side. On the map, you turn at the top of the hill before the steep decline onto another hill, Cricket HILL Rd. Except now I see Burgess going over the top as I’m slogging up this thing about 50 meters behind now.  Sure enough, theyve altered the course to make up the missed distance of the early turn – by having us plunge down the steep decline and COME RIGHT BACK UP IT. Must of been the same guy who designed quarry crusher. Oh yeah, and they kept the cricket hill part once you get back up to the top again. GOOD TIMES.  At least you can see where you are with the turnaround – there’s actually no one behind me except for Charley about 100 meters back and then a 40ish small woman who looks like she’s crushing it. I think she looked over at me and saw the fear in my eye.  The fear of getting master chicked. Thankfully cricket hill does eventually have a downslope and I try to let every bit of my oversized mass take a gravity ride. Mile 7 arrives and I look down to see a 7:50ish split, whcih I’m actually grateful for, given the way I’m feeling. Which is like complete hell, by the way.

Code is ahead of me, and occasionally I draw closer to him, but I think theboth of us are so shamed by our underachievement that were not even racing anymore. Burgess has completely exited the picture by now. Shortly after mile 8 is a sign “LAST HILL” which I know, by virtue of running in the area all the time, is complete BS. I somehow in a half delirious state, manage to waddle up that hill and the 2 or 3 other hills beyond that. As mile 9 passes and we approach the finish, Code looks back and yells for me to kick it in. I dont think either one of us to win this ridiculous battle, and it doesnt matter for me anyway, because I am completely and utterly done. Light is on and gauge is pegged on E. Somehow I do manage a feeble increase in speed in a desperate rush for the pain to end – 6:44 split in the last .30 after running the previous 5 miles just below 8 minute pace. I cross the line in 1:10:33, 20th place and 4th in AG. Still a new PR, I guess, even if its at my marathon PR pace. Somehow Code, who finished 5 seconds ahead of me, got 3rd in age group. Masters female (Jennifer Conrick), who actually is 2nd overall, finished 30 seconds behind me. Whew that was close.

OJ , Plex and Frank took the overall in this race, OJ with 5:57 pace, which is nuts with this course and conditions. Women’s winner, the tri sports girl (Michelle Hazelton), wins the female overall in less than an hour, which is damn impressive. 2nd place is Conrick, and Jennifer Lybrand took 3rd despite having a rough day as well. Yerger completely blasted this race, finishing 5th (4th overall male) and taking my age group a full 7 minutes ahead of me. Burgess won his age group at 1:08:52, and Mike Griffin, Coleen Strasburger, Sandy Smith, Shufy Rowe, both Outlaws, Wes Spratt, Frank Eichstadt, Paige Tyler, Ken Cobb, John Bradley and Colleen Vowles all placed in their age groups. Hedgecock took 2nd overall in the 4 mile;  Rocky Soderberg also won his age group.

http://www.strictlyrunning.com/results/12WWF.txt

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/175078712

The Quarry Crusher is a new event that is being run in conjunction with the Olympia Fest in the Olympia – Granby Mills neighborhood out near Williams-Brice.  I impulsively signed up for this race about a week ago .  I had  gotten an email about it and read the article the State published, so I figured it would be a unique and cool race. They normally dont allow the public in the quarry, so I my only awareness it existed was from google maps satelite pics of the city. My father-in-law also grew up in the area, so I figured it would also be a good excuse to walk around the neighborhood. And….there was also a minor degree of Trophy Hunting involved.

OK, so one thing I noticed about this race’s website is that it is vague about the course. It makes reference to running down in the quarry and then a steep rise out at the end. They mention things like a few hundred feet in elevation change, but its hard to truly envision the course from the description. They actually have a video of this girl Merritt running in the quarry, and basically it looks like a piece of cake.  Somehow I got it into my head that it was basically a long gradual decline and then a short but steep rise right before the end.

I got there about an hour early and immediately saw Mike Hedgecock, so there went the trophy. Ran about 2 miles in warmup with him and Thunder Dan Bliesner. We ran up to the quarry entrance which was being blocked by 2 Vulcan Materials workers.  I began wondering what was so ridiculously secret about a big hole in the ground. Pretty good crowd at the start line, though they put a strict 200 person limit on the race. In addition to Dan and Hedgecock, Greta Dobe was there to double up, having just finished the Heart and Sole. Scott Hodukavich, Fred Mullen and Adam Beam were also in attendance.  Oddly enough, one of the guys from the Island Liqours team from the Palmetto 200 drove up from Charleston to run this. Dan and I can’t get away from these guys.

With the starting gun, I blast out of the gate like a regular 5k and find myself all alone in first for the initial quarter mile. I decide eventually this is probably not the best strategy and ease up a bit. Dan, Hedgecock and Island Liquors run up beside me and I let them form a small pack right in front of me. The first half mile is nice flat roads, and I’m feeling pretty good. But the quarry looms ominously ahead. We blast through the gate area and head down a short decline, then another steeper one. Not too bad.  Knowing the start line is also the finish line has me a little worried though…I wonder if I’ll have to run up this again…HOLY ^&^$!!

Suddenly we make the turn and see the above. And now I’m flopping around and trying not to destroy my knees and quads. Total freefall. I’m actually more concerned with keeping my footing then trying to maintain my speed. Apparently Bliesner and Hedgecock are better than me at downhills, and are gapping me pretty badly despite I weigh as much as both of them combined. Some other jokers pass me as well, but I’m already in panic mode about this course. As far as I can tell there is no way out but right back up. I hit mile 1 at about 5:57, though I actually spent the second half of the mile trying to slow down some to save myself. But there’s none of that to be had. My legs are taking a beating, like a couple of sledgehammers to my quads. After slowing down the pace a bit I feel a little better, and figure this may set up perfectly for me, since I’m good at powering up the hills and maybe the guys in front of me went out too fast. Completely delusional. After a mile of plummeting to the center of the earth, we finally see a cone as the turnaround point. For the love of all that is holy, do we really have to run straight back up this thing? Yep. I’m barely up the first curve upward and my legs are starting to protest. Sub 6 pace turns into 8+ really quick. And pretty soon 8 min pace is blazing because I am crawling. The momentum of every step is sucked up by gravel and sand, and if you dare look up you see this:

Not exactly a sight that gives you hope. Meanwhile I see Dan WALKING ahead. Oh, I’ve got him now…wait….I’m not gaining on him.  What was a crawl now feels like I’m jogging in place.  I keep trying to stand up tall but I keep hunching over like a 90 year old man. Finally I let out the first of many F bombs and just start power walking too, which seems unbelievable to me, but is actually more efficient than that death-jog I was attempting earlier. Usually when you walk you can expect to get passed, but soon I realize just about everyone is doing the same. Bunch of dudes pulling 5 something pace now look like a pack of soccer moms in the mall.  And the collective shame is palpable. Lots of ridiculous waddling to pass other guys going on. Really were all lucky the Heart and Sole women’s race was this morning, because I’m sure there would be a lot of chicking going on to otherwise add to our misery.  I’m doing short intervals of run/walking now.  The quarry run makes everyone a jeff galloway disciple, apparently. I cant even muster a jog for the picture area about 3/4 the way up.  Merritt, the girl from the preview video, flies by me in a golf cart in the middle of one of my walks of shame and gives me a “go blue shoes”. Damn her! That video is a fraud! Finally after a 10+ min mile and a seeming eternity, I reach the top. I can hear someone behind me but decide there’s no way in hell he’s going to pass me. Have I not had enough suffering for one day? Hitting the flat pavement is like heaven. I blast out a meager blue shoes kick and finish in 28:11 or so.  Not sure where I finished, probably around 10th.

Island Liqours ended up winning and apparently didnt even walk. Hedgecock ended up 2nd and won fifty bucks to boot. Thunder Dan finished 5th. Greta Dobe won her age group even with the double dip. They only went one deep in age groups and had certificates as awards, which is kind of lame.  I was hoping for some kind of rock as the award. Not like it mattered anyway, because I didnt win my age group – maybe second though? Hopefully they’ll have results up soon. This was a unique race and pretty cool, despite the painful slog back up out of the hole. It will apparently be back next year, where it will be even longer as they continue to dig in the ground. Bonus!

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/172523642

http://www.thestate.com/2012/04/18/2239282/get-a-chance-to-run-in-columbias.html

http://www.thestate.com/2012/04/28/2254767/crusher-run.html

RESULTS: http://quarrycrusherrun.com/results2012.txt

Quarry pics with timestamp are Scott Hodukovich’s. Also included are a few from The State.

Trophy and Diesel pulled a fast one on me this weekend and went stealth trophy hunting in Camden. Damn you Sweet T. At least they both know what color shoes to wear. Here is his report.

Trophy hunting…..we’ve all heard it, but what does it mean?  It means us slower runners try to find a small race where the faster runners aren’t going to show up, hence giving us a chance to take home trophies!  For those of you who don’t know, one of my many names is Trophy.  I won’t even go into the others. But I fear McGoho is now going to be one of them.

FYI, Trophy’s favorite nickname is “Lady McGaha”. Joe Pinner called him this at the 2010 Red Nose Run 5k. Nothing like getting burned by Mr. Knozit. 

A few years ago I wandered out into the country to do a small race.  I would give the race name, but it’s still on the “trophy hunting” list and I don’t want the fast people to know about it!  Anyways, I showed up to this 5K and found myself leading the pack.  Actually, there was no pack.  It was just Schmitz and I and we were ecstatic to be following the cop car. I still remember that moment fondly. I eventually pulled away from him and got myself a first overall finish.  For winning I got a 9 foot trophy.  Ok….it’s only maybe one foot, but in my mind it’s 9 feet!  Since then, I have been known as Trophy.  That was my ultimate trophy hunting moment.

This event led to my extensive study into trophy hunting. As a case study it depicts the key Blue Shoes TH criteria of : first time race, limited publicity, rural setting, multiple race competition on the same day. This trophy is truly amazing…you’d think he’d won the freaking Boston Marathon.

The 5^th annual Camden Clinic Classic was another such opportunity. I had quietly researched the results from previous years and determined I might could have another trophy moment.  I conferred with my partner in crime, Diesel, and we decided to go for it.  There were a couple other races on this day as well as the very popular Mud Run.  Could this be our chance???

Ah yes, research. Another critical component. The problem is, other trophy hunters see the slow winning times from last year and all show up at the next one.

The Clinic Classic is a 5K/10K held in Camden to benefit the Community Medical Clinic.  The course is actually a very good one.  It starts right on Hwy 1 in Camden and then runs through a nice older neighborhood in the heart of town.  Fairly scenic and shaded in most areas. The race is not the most organized I have ever seen, but what they lack in race knowledge they make up for with enthusiasm and the desire to actually make everyone happy.  I spoke with the director a few times and she was very helpful and was looking for feedback and ways to make the race bigger and better.

I see a conflict of interest here.

I got there pretty early to sign up and to scope out the competition.  After 30 minutes or so, things were looking good. Diesel eventually showed up to sign up as well and we sized things up.  We had decided that I would do the 10K and he would do the 5K, giving us both the opportunity for a trophy.  Things were looking pretty good.  We walked back to his truck to drop his stuff off and the most devastating moment of the day happened.  Ryan Plexico.  Son of a monkey!  Being the elite runner he is, no way he was doing the 5K.  My plan was foiled.  Diesel on the other hand…was still in good shape.  We conversed with Ryan for a little bit then did a one mile warm up. After returning I thought I saw a glimpse of Mike Hedgecock.  He was the winner of the 5K the previous year, and a definite threat.

Runners with actual talent are the bane to the trophy hunter’s existence. Nothing like lining up with soccer moms, kids and granddads only to see a last second dude in a sponsored singlet show up. DOH!

We lined up and I scanned the crowd.  At this point in time it looked to be me vs Plex.  Pshhh…piece of cake. I told him go slow so I could keep him in sight and not make a wrong turn.  Apparently he didn’t understand my idea of slow. Diesel was right there with us and his 5K chances were looking pretty good at this point, as no Hedgecock in sight.  We started and it was as expected….Ryan way in front…then me…then some others.  Some guy came up and got in front of me about a half mile in and I saw he had a 10K bib on. Uh oh.  At this point I couldn’t tell if he was for real or not.  Regardless, I passed him before we got to a mile.  During this stretch I heard someone coming up behind me….running pretty fast. Right at a mile they caught me….it was Hedgecock. Apparently he started a little late and was catching up!  He blew by me at the 1 mile mark and all I was hoping is he would turn off for the 5K.  Whew…he did.  Good for me…bad for Diesel. I made a turn between mile 1 and 2 and looked back and saw a few guys….unsure at that point if any of them could catch me.  I tried to push it a little and open up some space.  Around mile 3 or so the ugly sun reared its face.  I am not a fan of heat or the sun when it comes to running, as most know.  My pace slipped a bit but I was still securely in 2^nd place.  After about half a mile…I never saw Ryan again, until I crossed the finish line.   Around mile 4 I got confused as to which way to turn.  One of the few places it was not well marked.  Luckily the closest guy behind me yelled to me and I then got back on course.  Good that he helped, bad that he was close enough to see which way I was going.  At this point in time I was struggling trying to keep pace.  The heat was taking a toll and I was trying my best to stay ahead of the guy in 3^rd.  He seemed to get pretty close to me by mile 5.  I had almost given up that I was going to stay in front of him.  But then mile 5 or so hit and we had some shade and were going a little downhill and heading back towards the start/finish area. I found the boost I needed.  We were also catching up with some of the 5K walkers and it was nice to be able to pass them.  I kept my pace at a sub 7 at this point and was feeling pretty good. We made the last turn to go back down Hwy 1 to the finish and I took a quick glimpse back and knew I had secured 2^nd place.  I crossed the finish line and caught my breath.  Saw Plex….who looked like he had already rested, eaten,  and taken a shower and come back to see the rest of us.  Decent time for me, but a little too hot for me to PR.  Diesel ran a good time and managed a 3^rd overall in the 5K.  A teenager beat him out for 2^nd place.  Diesel apparently had a “Diesel” moment and bonked in the first mile because he believed he may actually be in line for a trophy. That was because Hedgecock was so far ahead of him he had no idea if he was running the 5K or 10K.

Hedgecock apparently won the race while starting from the front seat of his car. Diesel is the ultimate race underperformer. Dude runs PRs in training when he’s not even thinking about it. Put a bib on him though…its like kryptonite. I’m  surprised Trophy was able to hold off Whitney Keen – he has been running right at 20 minutes for 5ks.

Awards were nice and unique. Unfortunately they only went one deep in the overall, so Diesel and I were pushed into age groups, which in this race were 10 year increments. We received a nice horseshoe for our efforts.  Something I can definitely say I have never seen.  Only other racer there was Henry Holt….who obviously managed an age group win as well.  We can only hope to be running like him when we are that age.

The ultimate insult to injury – taking 2nd place, getting demoted to age groups and spelling your name MCGOHO. The 10k had all of 27 entrants, so you cant blame them for 10 year groups and 1 deep overalls. The Lexington Kiwanis Funfest 5k had a similar turnout in 2010 and I think EVERYBODY won medals. The last place finisher won overall 1st masters female. Awesome.

We learned our lesson and will never go trophy hunting again.  Riiiiiiight.   This course is actually very PR friendly and is for a good cause, so if you get a chance I would recommend you run it.  Unless you are one of the thousands of runners that are faster than me! If you are one of those, go somewhere else.

Strong work, Trophy. Sorry Plex rained on your parade. How dare he decide to ruin your trophy hunt?!

The Earth Fair 8k has actually been around for several years but this is one of the last races in Columbia I’ve never done. Its always conflicted with another race in the past, but this year it is the only TDC event this weekend. I had considered trophy hunting in Camden since the Clinic Classic is usually small and has little competition, but apparently Trophy himself had the same idea and beat me to it. Alas, Ryan Plexico showed up and stole his golden opportunity for an overall win. And for that, we thank you Ryan. The last thing I want to hear is Trophy blabbing about his second win. To add insult to injury, they only went one deep in the overall (there were only 20 some odd people in the 10k) and gave him an age group award instead…to Tyler MCGOHO. Be sure to remind him of that next time you see him. The Moe’s burrito dash probably took some people away from Earth Fair, so it was still a small race this year. People kept telling me to go run Moe’s given my ability to wolf down food even faster than my 5k running, but when you offer 7000 total dollars in prize money to the overall winners, youll probably get more than soccer moms as competition.

The Earth Fair is held at Saluda Shoals Park, home of the Silver Fox trot, Sleigh Bell Trot and the Dam Run 10k finish. As I was told, the 8k shares basically the entire silver fox 5k course and  then adds an extra 3k. Rick Gibbons, who had done the race before, guided myself, Code, and Geary on a tour of the last mile, which later proved to be critical. The course is one of the coolest trail races I’ve seen – a total mix of hills, flats, bridges, paved areas, and ditches. Course was very well marked and even had all the roots painted in neon orange. Very nice. Of note, the course has the silver fox hill just after mile 1 – a muddy mountain that is difficult not to walk at times. Just brutal. The rest of the course is rolling, never gets too bad, but has lots of twists and turns.

Humid but still fairly cool at race time. Crowd is pretty small, with only a few familiar faces. Rocky, Rick, Barefoot John, Geary,  Code, Ken Sekley, Team Outlaw + Gizmo, and David He are the only ones I know.  I honestly never gave a thought about placing in the overall, but there’s a slim possibility with this group. I’d give myself a chance with a road race, but I generally suck pretty bad on trails. Like really bad. Usually the best trail runners are these small, rail thin people that can dart back and forth on tight switchbacks. Gorillas like myself require some momentum to get going.

With the gun start, no one jumps out ahead so I find myself leading in the first quarter mile. Finally David He catches up and passes me, and I fully expect him to take this race. After the 5:25 mile the night before, the 640ish pace seems pretty nice. Code catches up at about a half mile in a  clearing and I run with him for a little bit. We are both wondering when the muddy mountain is coming.  Code then complains about going so slow and breaks ahead. Soon another guy comes up and passes me and is really laying on the gas. Sekley also pulls up just ahead of me. Mile 1 in 6:47. Finally I see it. The mountain – mercifully short but its got to be close to 10 percent grade. Mr. Surge is slowed to a near walk. I power up the hill and it takes me most of the next quarter to stop gasping. David has gapped the field by about 10-20 meters and Code, Sekley and I are running in single file. Suddenly David just blows right through a turn and keeps going down a hill. I scream at him to turn around and Code yells at him too, but he’s got earbuds in and cant hear a thing. As the three of us pull into the forest again, David is WAY off in the distance off course. Here Code realizes he’s now in first and starts pushing the pace. I have no confidence in my trail endurance, so I let him go a little, but Sekley follows him. The next mile I fall off the back of their two person pack, and I start to worry about Geary lurking behind me, but I dont look back. Geary breathes like an industrial machine, so I figure I’ll hear him coming. Sekley is probably having the same thought about me, except you can replace the machine with a rabid grizzly. I’m not exactly stealth with me blasting through every turn like a slalom course. At about the 4k point I’ve reeled Sekley back in and he’s now just a few paces ahead. I can see Code but only in the clearings and some of the longer straightaways. A few times I consider passing Ken but he’s holding a pretty good pace. I decide to lurk just behind him. He’s probably going to have nightmares about being chased through the woods tonight, because the next 2.5  miles I’m right behind him. Code starts fading a bit in the last 2 miles but we’ve let him gap us too much. Finally Sekley and I reach the course that’s familiar to me from Rick’s warmup. I’m sucking a lot of wind by now, but Ken has backed off a little on the pace. I suddenly recognize the last woods segment before the open field to the finish, and I kick it in hard. I pass Ken and can feel him just behind me. I then enter a whole new world of pain as I blast it way past the redline.  Form starts going into headless chicken mode, but apparently I’m willing to risk cardiac arrest not to get passed back.  I hit the line at just over 34 minutes. 2nd overall. I hand over my bib strip and basically sprawl out on the ground like a 200 pound baby. Apparently restraint is not one of my personal strengths. I’m happy with the time and placement, and I always love a good battle with a blue shoe kick.

I dont know when or where the results will be – this race is old school with snail mail entry, no chips and using the old Columbia Running Club clock.  All of the regulars scored age group wins. Code scored his second overall win. David even came back and beat most of the field, even if he did practically run a 10k. Although I am biased given my performance, this was one of my favorite trail races. Course was really cool and well marked, despite David’s zone out. Nice volunteers and timely awards, despite the old bib tag and ring method.

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/170226922

This is the second running of the Run for Her Life Downhill Mile, which I really wanted to do last year but was out of town. I love the mile. I’ve only actually run a mile race once before – actually a 1600 m in Strictly Running’s summer track series last year. Ran a 5:34 there, though it was crazy hot and I had already sprinted a 200 a few minutes earlier.  However, my dad used to watch the millrose games and the wannamaker mile when I was growing up, and there’s just something cool about this most basic of distances. This race is crazy fast – starts just off the intersection on rosewood and harden, and follows harden straight into 5 points. Its basically a slight roll over the first 0.75 then a very sharp downhill and flat sprint to the finish.

I was kind of nervous before the race. I really wanted a good time in this race, as I feel like it should be right up my alley. Basically 5+ minutes of pure blue shoe kick. My goal is to at least sub 5:30, maybe get 5:20.  I was feeling like crap most of the day though, as I’ve been nursing a cold. Between 24 hours of riding in a van with 5 others last weekend, using a million port-a-potties, having 3 cute little disease vectors in my home and starting a new job at the forensic psych hospital, I dont know where I might have picked up a stray virus. Got to the race about an hour early and ran the whole course forwards and backwards. Wasn’t really feeling it, and I was starting to dread the pain I was about to put myself through. Pretty small crowd at this race. Its put on by USC medical school, and apparently my students need to learn something about advertising. Strictly did help them out in the last two weeks, but I wasnt aware of the race until about then, and I am actively searching for races all the time.

Team Allers, Amanda, Jen Lybrand, and Eric McMichael are the only ones I know from the crowd. The start makes 5k starts seem tame. People are just hauling from the get go. Which is basically what you need to do in a mile, but I’m pretty sure there arent 20 sub 5 milers in this group. Eric Allers pulls ahead then is passed by a kid in an orange shirt. McMichael is showing his “King of the Quarter” speed and burns by me like I’m standing still. A quarter mile in and the field has settled down to orange kid, Allers, Kenzie Riddle, McMichael and myself. Pace feels crazy, but I start to settle in a little by the half, and I begin making up some ground on Eric M. The middle of the race has a little incline and it just hurts, but right at 0.75 is that freefall into 5 Points. Which kind of sucks for me, because I’m no good at downhills. I had gotten right behind McMichael but he’s gapped me by the bottom of the hill and just blasts out that 54 second quarter speed. He passes Kenzie with about 50 meters to go . I can make out the clock at 5:07 or so, and I’m in a full out sprint at this point. Hit the mat at 5:25, which I’m not disappointed about, if not overjoyed. I feel like I could have gone faster if I had felt better, but it was the best I could do on that night.

Orange shirt guy (Bryan Brooks) won the overall at 5:03 with Allers at 5:12 and McMichael at 5:20. Kenzie wins overall female at 5:20 and gets a 100 dollar bonus for breaking 5:30. Men’s 100 bucks was for 4:30, which was actually won last year by Tim Jeffreys (4:29). No one close this year of course. Amanda and Tigs take the 2-3 at 5:43 and 5:47 respectively. I finished 5th in the 62 person field.  I’ll be back at the Strictly track series in the summer – would like to be in the 5:15 range by then. I dont think they had age group medals in this race. There was an afterparty at Jake’s but I had to take off.

http://connect.garmin.com/dashboard?cid=8315861

http://www.strictlyrunning.com/RESULTS/12HERLIFE.TXT

Obviously I couldn’t run the Palmetto Half and do the Palmetto 200 at the same time. I finished leg 3 at 6:50 am, which would have given me 10 minutes to get to Northeast Columbia from Mount Pleasant. So Trophy said he’d write a guest blog entry for me. Here it is:

The Palmetto Half is a half marathon running out of Sandhills on the Northeast side of town.  This is only the 3^rd year for this race, but it has grown in popularity and this year had 933 finishers.  There is also a 5K the same morning that managed 401 finishers.  400 finishers is a good race when there is only a 5K, much less when a accompanying a half.  The race director is Ken Calcutt , a good friend, running companion, and an honorary captain of our weekend running group.  He and his staff have done a wonderful job with this race, which is probably why it is so popular. It falls on a busy time of the year, with some of the faster people going to Boston , and some of the more hardcore and crazy people running the Palmetto 200 relay.  I have nothing but rave reviews for this race. It is very well organized and I have no complaints. The awards this year were quite unique. Maybe someone that reads this who actually got one could send a photo to Alex?!?  Obviously, I did not! 

3rd place in our age group was 1:29:26 , and about a minute south of my PR, so I doubt I would have gotten any glory either.

The race starts at the Plex and runs out along Clemson road to Two Notch, then back behind Target and into Wildewood. There are a few hills scattered throughout, but overall not a bad course.  As many people know, I hate the heat, and due to the recent hot temps….I was praying for some cool numbers on race day.  Thankfully, we had it perfect.  I believe it was high 40’s at race time.  Hard to ask for better.  I got there pretty early and did some socializing as usual.  Right away I saw some of the faster people…..Plexico…Frank.  Heard rumors of a coach from CIU trying to go 1:12 I think.  Hmmm….too fast for me!  Amy showed up and figured she was a good bet to win overall female, as she has been smoking it lately and running wonderful!  We had a good turn out from our weekend running group, all showing up for a nice race and to support our leader Ken.  Charley, Jon, Nathan, Mark, Heath, and Buckle Up….who provided support with the cones.  He did a fine job with those!

Except for that traitor Blue Shoes.  At least Buckle Up didnt go rogue at Ken’s race – he’s setting TDC world records in banditing.

 Race started and I settled in with Burgess to try to pace a 1:33 or so….a goal for both of us.  I have run 3 of my last 4 half marathons in 1:34….surprising consistency from me. We got to the top of Clemson and could see below that Jud and Ryan were already quite a ways ahead of us. Machines.  The race for us was rather uneventful.  We maintained a pace right on target for most of the race…attacking the downhills and resting on uphills.  Jeff and I caught up to Karen Manning and she joined our jolly group for the majority of the race. We ran and Jeff provided very entertaining thoughts and commentary the majority of the time.  You would think this would wear him out, but him and Karen still managed to drop me on the nasty hill on Valhalla .

What’s all this talking? Burgess needs to lay off his blabbing and go for the glory. At least he didn’t get Trophied. 

I have checked quite a few times with our race director, and he has not been successful with removing this hill from the course. Sorry guys…I tried.  I finally got back on Two Notch and this is a good stretch to make up some ground. I found some more in me and started hitting some sub 7’s down this mile or so.  Good pace for me at this point, and was able to pass Karen again. 

Trophy cant push the pace unless he’s about to get masters chicked.

Unfortunately Burgess apparently had the same idea as me, and I was unable to make up any ground.  I struggled up the overpass (again, unable to get this part off the race) and started speeding up towards the end. The finish in my opinion is a good one. A little downhill into the middle of Sandhills.  The finish is lined with people cheering you on….a good feeling at the end of 13 miles.  I caught up to someone with about .1 to go and we raced to the finish!  I was just able to edge him out.  Burgess had remained strong and managed to best me by about 20 or so seconds. After they posted the chip time I did some research and I bested Governors Cup, my previous PR, by .15 seconds. Yes…..that is .15.  Can’t say I’m not consistent! 

Trophy’s birthday present

Jud managed to win in a time of 1:14.  Plexico got 2^nd overall with a 1:15.  Frank ran a PR and a time of 1:21, good enough for 6^th overall. Anton got 2^nd Masters overall with a 1:23.  Larry Jourdain ran a good race with a 1:27.  Amy did manage to win overall female with a time of 1:23.  Megan had a good race…2^nd overall female with a 1:29.  Heath “Diesel” Ward managed a PR as well. Kudos to all the runners of this wonderful race. Can’t wait to do it again next year! 

Insanely fast times in this race

Shout out to those who endured the high temps in Boston .  Any finish at all was a good one. Also a shout out to the Palmetto 200 team “Van on the Run”.  Great job to all of you!

I’m hoping the 200 won’t interfere with this race next year.

As my races have been limited, and my times pathetic, I welcome the chance to at least make a guest appearance on what is definitely the best blog I have ever read (don’t read any others) J.  I, like most of you I am sure, look forward to what our friend the race freak/CRC President has to say each week.  He is nothing if not entertaining and informative!   Trophy signing out.  Run happy my friends.

I paid him to say that. Excellent post, if lacking in my usual flagrant grandiosity and ridiculous detail.

http://www.strictlyrunning.com/results/12PHM.txt

The Palmetto 200 is in its third year this year, and this is also the third year I’ve done this event. I first saw this race on the web back in 2009 when it was just getting organized. In a strange twist of fate, one of my forum friends from Runners World ended up being Brian Clyburn, who then recruited me to be a part of a team he was putting together for the 200. At the time, I had just done my first half marathon, and was a little scared of the mileage requirements, but I signed on anyway.  I went on to a big PR at the Palmetto Half that year  (a couple of weeks before the inaugural Palmetto 200) and that was enough to delude me into thinking I could handle big time miles. I went out like a bat out of hell on my first 8.8 miler that year in the 80+ degree heat and about ended up a medical casualty. I recovered enough to run a decent 7 miler in leg two, but had a total meltdown on my third leg, 7.5 miles at 4 something am. This bonk made my Richmond marathon disaster seem triumphant. I had a walk of shame and was seeing spots/hallucinations. I have no idea how I finished that particular leg other than a sheer determination to end the suffering. I swore I’d never this relay again many times during that 7.5 miles. However, a sausage biscuit at the Seewee outpost and a nap was apparently enough to have me ready to go in 2011 by the end of the day.  I was much better prepared the second time around, and Brian gave me less miles, knowing I have absolutely no sense of pacing. We had a great race as a team that year, finishing 2+ hours better than the year before and ended up being the first team to cross the finish, though not the overall winner. My 4th leg that year was laying waste to the free beer and mexican buffet at the finish, nearly resulting in a post race reversal.

For those unfamiliar, the Palmetto 200 is a relay based on the Hood to Coast relay in Oregon. The course is just over 200 miles divided into 36 parts or “legs” that range anywhere from 1.7 to 10 miles. Course runs from Columbia Motor Speedway in Cayce, SC to James Island County Park just south of Charleston.  Twelve people make up a standard full team, with each member running 3 legs.  Runners 1-6 are in one van, and 7-12 in the other. Each runner runs in order over the course of the next 24+ hours or so to complete the course.  Before the relay, every team captain submits a projected average pace of the entire team, and this determines your start time. The idea of the staggered start is to try and get everybody to finish at about the same time.  The slowest teams start at Friday 6 am, and the fastest at 1:30 pm. Finish times are supposed to be on Saturday afternoon.

As mentioned, Brian is our captain, and if there is anyone born to be a relay captain, it is him. Starting about 3 months out, we start getting emails about the relay, with pre-event runs and a team lunch. Utlimately this culminates in “THE SPREADSHEET”. This thing is color coded with projected start/end times, maps and your projected (expected?) pace.  Mine was 7 minutes flat this year, for 16 miles. El Capitan does not mess around.

This year Brian made some new recruits and divided us into “fast” (Van 1) and “older and extremely good looking” (Van 2).  Though I fit none of these criteria he put me in Van 1, where I was probably 4th or 5th in speed out of the group. Van 1 was Dan “Thunder Dan”, Andy “Nard Dog”, David “D-Mac”, Darrell “Code Brown”, Brandon “Mayfire” and myself. Van 2 included Brian “El Capitan”, Kori “Nrv-Flo”, Joel “Honey Badger”, Amanda “Cobra Kai” , Whitney “Soap Distant” and Ellen “A Pos”. Yes we were instructed to have nicknames and we all had team relay shirts with the names. Team “Van on the Run” does not do things halfway.

We got to Columbia Speedway about 11:15 in prep for our 12 noon start. The weather was inexplicably cool. All this past month I kept thinking how miserable this relay was going to be with the record heat we had been having, but you cant beat a high of 72 and sunny in April in SC.  We had two main competitors that were in our start wave by Brian’s calculations: Team Island Liquors and the Clemson Thundercats. The Thundercats  were the most evil given we were a group of mostly USC grads. Someone suggested we rename ourselves the Thundercocks, but that was deemed a bit too graphic.  We got a briefing from the race director and we were told we would be running 6 hours behind the main clock, which started at 6 am that morning with the first wave. There were actually a few even faster teams starting at 1:30. Our stated time was 7:45 pace that would have us finishing at 2 pm, but us relay vets knew el capitan would hold us to a higher standard.

The Code was our first runner and our 4 team wave started right at noon with a lap around the speedway. I already had to start trash talking Code in the first lap because he let some dude pass him right before the photo op as they left the speedway. We then jumped in the van and headed to the next exchange zone, where Brandon waited to run. We were excited to see Darrell rounding the finish  at the end of his 5.7 miles, pushing it at 6:30ish pace the whole way, though not too far ahead of a trailing group of two. Brandon took off and blasted his way through leg 2, a stretch mostly on dusty country roads. I don’t know his pace but he left the two behind him at least a couple of minutes back. Andy was our third runner and is a complete beast. His was 9.26 miles and almost completely out in the sun. This was the same leg (slightly different course) that completely wrecked me in 2010, but he just destroyed it in just over 6 flat pace.

Which led to my first leg, a very short 2.6 miler that i was set to tear up. The problem with relays is that you do a lot of waiting around stewing in your own pre-race anxiety before you run. On top of this, the pressure to do well for your team is definitely more intense than the individual pressure for a regular race. This was also put up or shut up time for me dating back to last year. Last year Trophy ran this leg and looked like he might need a medical tent afterwards. He then went on an on about his 2.6 miles, that I have dogged him about it every time the relay has come up since. Ask Tyler how he’s feeling so fly..like a two six. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GvgJEznqtms.

Pic is me mocking Trophy after his 2.6 in 2011. So I’d better not blow it on this leg, right? As soon as I got the bracelet baton, I blasted out like a banshee, but then told myself to rein it in. I was supposed to hit an average of 7 minutes throughout, so I figured maybe I could go a little faster, say 6:45 for this little jaunt. I was feeling pretty good, especially since a lot of the first mile was a slight decline. I looked down when my Garmin beeped my one miles split…6:09. Way to pace yourself hero. Relay organizers say the best way to pace is 10 seconds slower per mile than your 10k…here I was doing a fast 5k split. Here is when I saw a hill, which is why Trophy said he was so gassed. I started to suck some wind on this thing, but was able to power up it pretty fast. Just as I was thinking Trophy was a complete wuss, I saw it. Turns out the reason for this only being 2.6 miles is the small mountain that arises out of nowhere for the last three quarters of a mile. I had already told myself to slow down, but Mt. Charleston highway was doing a good job for me. I kept having hallucinations that the other 2 teams were hunting me down, but it was just my flailing limbs and the rocks on the road. Second mile was at 6:45 and hurt a hundred times worse. To add insult to injury, the crest of the hill is the finish, so instead of my teammates seeing me rock out the first mile, they see me heaving like I’m on death’s door. I hit the last 0.6 at just over 7 minute pace and collapse on the grass.  17:02, 6:36 pace. OK Trophy…no more teasing.

David took the baton from here and despite stating he was in terrible shape still managed low 7 pace through some more seriously hilly exposed areas. Dan brought the thunder on leg 6 and had to face what had been David’s nemesis for the last two years. On leg 6, there is a half mile of a hill that looks like its straight out of the blue ridge. This is in the middle of an 8 miler, the majority of which is in the direct broiling sun. Ive seen most people walk most of it (yes we park on the side of the road in the middle just to watch the carnage). Dan was powering up it this year. Unfortunately, there was a 40ish woman behind him who had been tracking him down and blasting what was likely low 6 pace. Dan said he finally heard her at the top of the hill. I really expected her to pass Dan, but give him a challenge and he is going to pick it up a level. We saw both of them round the last turn a half mile from the finish of leg 6, with masters chick right on his tail. Dan brought the thunder though, and was able to hold her off.

We then handed off to van 2 and crashed out at Santee state park after refueling at the Cracker Barrel. We used to eat conservatively, fearing GI disasters with all the running, but it seems the best way to keep going is just to eat and eat a lot. No problem with that here. I tried to sleep some at Santee, but inevitably there will always be that someone that talks like the whole world needs to hear. Of course one of those dudes pulled up to the field with all the people crashed out in sleeping bags. I brought earplugs for this purpose, but I wasnt tired enough after my mini 5k to sleep anyway.

Van 2 finished at about 8 something at night and Darrell started us off from Santee State Park to Lone Star BBQ, blasting off 4 miles in low 6 pace. Island Liquors and the Thundercats had opened up a big lead over the afternoon but they were still on the same legs as us. Brandon then had the unenviable task of running right through the center of Santee on a Friday night. I had this leg last year. For the night parts of the relay they make us wear a headlamp , with a reflective vest and at least 2 blinking lights front and back.  Lets just say this attracts a lot of attention from the locals, who may or may not like this invasion by alien coal miners in white vans. It also gets dogs going, and apparently Brandon survived a near attack by Santee’s version of Cujo.  Luckily this year the race had a ton of police supervision, apparently with a cruiser every 5 miles during the night, which was awesome. Brandon finished his leg and got to push “the easy button” that one of the volunteer’s kids had. From the pace he was doing, it looked anything but easy. Andy then tore up the next leg, again at six flat pace, bringing us within a couple of minutes of the Liqours and Cats.

I then headed out into the pitch dark for a 5.6 mile romp straight through Holly Hill. It was a little after 11 pm. I was a little gimpy from my mini 5k up the mountain, but it was the coolest weather I’ve run in since February and flatter then anything in Columbia. I hit mile 1 at 6:49 and decided I could probably maintain this pace. It was a little scary at times – traffic was light but 55 mph cars coming at you keeps you on your toes. Luckily most gave me a wide berth with my crazy ass outfit. I went right through Holly Hill, which was pretty much deserted except for a Subway, where I got some interesting looks. Its not everyday Holly Hill sees an albino Sasquatch on the loose. As I reached the other side of Holly Hill, which is only a few blocks, I saw a glimmer of red. My first chance at ROADKILL. This is the term relayers use to describe passing other teams. Late in the relay you catch up with the slower teams and pass a lot of people, but I figured this was probably still someone in our start wave. I figured that based on being less than halfway done, but also by the fact this guy was proving tough to catch. I had thrown down 3 consecutive 6:47ish miles and I hadnt out much of a dent in his lead. At some point I figured less than a 5k to the finish and started to pick it up. As I started to near him, I think he sensed my presence and fought me off , but finally I caught up with him. He actually was very nice, was encouraging and even told me he was from the Liquors. I almost felt bad passing him. Almost.  I still had to burn it to keep him off my tail, when I saw dimly ANOTHER LIGHT.  The possibility of a double roadkill was too good to pass up, and I started to ramp it up past 10k pace. I think this girl might have been doing a brief walk of shame, but once she saw my light she started booking it. She was wearing a loose reflective vest and was carrying a flashlight, creating a dizzying strobe effect that was really disorienting on top of my own headlamp. I blasted into low 6 territory, knowing I had less than a mile to go. Finally passed her with about a half mile to go, and saw she was a Thundercat.  I continued 5k pace and even threw a mini blue shoes kick to end the leg in style. Last two splits were 6:30 (mile 5) and 6:16 (last 0.6).  So much for restraint. On the upside the weather and flatness made everything so much easier, so I figured I would be OK.  Nice for my teammates to do most of the work to set up the double pass on my leg. David then had his short 2.6er and held the lead. Dan then extended the lead by rocking out a 9.67 miler and started catching some of the slower teams from the earlier start waves.  St Paul Methodist (all the exchange zones are schools or churches) had a late night ham sandwich and chips sale at the end of Dan’s leg. I wolfed that thing down like it was nothing.  I think I may actually gain weight on relays.

I then drove the van down to the last van turnover site, Cordesville baptist church. I’ve driven the last two relays as my own personal penance for being a complete sloth in the 2010 relay, lying down in the wayback and basically just eating and sleeping. Cordesville has a huge field which is prime for sleeping. A bunch of sleeping bags and tents were laid out close, but I have to be far off from the parking lot to avoid homicidal rage toward loud talking ass clowns. My teammates actually all slept in the van, but beasts like myself just cant get comfortable. One thing about this night, it was FREAKING COLD. Low 40’s I think, but with a slight wind it felt way worse. Luckily the Strictly Running hoodie I have has supernatural heating properties and kept me pretty warm, as long as I formed a sleeping bag cocoon and pulled the hoodie over my face.  I positioned myself in view of the van and partially in the glow of a security light, as to avoid getting my internal organs crushed by a 15 passenger van. That wouldnt be a very dignified way to go. I initially had a hard time sleeping even with it being pretty quiet. I was near a shed with some empty barrels with possible shotgun holes, which I feared may be a good snake lair even if target practice wasnt currently in session. Whats worse, there were wolves. Wolves howling. Like right out of a movie. We were in the middle of Francis Marion forest, I guess. All these concerns apparently succumbed to overwhelming fatigue because the next thing I know Code is waking me up.

Code apparently snorted a line of coke because he is jacked up about this 330 am run, which is his last.  I am considerably less than enthusiastic and freezing my ass off to boot. My time out of the cocoon about killed me. After shivering in the van for awhile and cursing my recurrent bad judgement for entering these relays, I was able to defrost and take down a couple starbucks doubleshots.  Drove to the scariest exchange zone, a pitch dark Huger recreation area. Except this time apparently every van in the relay is parked there. They have one scary outhouse there that has become legendary. There’s no light in it, and when you turn on your headlamp, you are glad you cant really see anything. I call it the House of Horrors. With that as the only option, lets just say the surrounding pines are well fertilized.  Code finally finishes his 10 miler and I’m quite sure he’s done another line of coke, because dude is amped to be finished.  The rest of the van, who are still facing the roughest and worst leg, are not quite sharing his enthusiasm. I myself am facing a 7.5 miler on an hour and a half sleep, stomach churning with a melange of espresso, gatorade and nilla wafers. Brandon is lucky to have gotten his worst legs over and goes out and crushes his remaining 5k. Andy had the 7.5 miler that brought me to near death in 2010 and knocks it out in like 6:02 pace. Dude is a monster.

I pick up a roadkill in the first 10 yards of my 3rd and last leg. The slower groups have a lot of recreational runners, a lot of whom are hating life by this time.  They are out in force by this point, and I have to admire the 10 min + pace teams because these guys may be out here as much as 36 hours. I am fortunate to get to run at 6 am, so the sun is beginning to come up. This is spirit lifting, and with it still being cold with a flat course, the running is a little bit easier. I target 7 min pace, but end up doing mile 1 in 6:44. It doesnt feel that bad, so I just try and hold it. Gradually the sleepiness wears off and I’m able to feel a little better.  Liqours and Thundercats are back ahead again by a long shot, so I dont focus on trying to catch them. This leg has a lot of turns which help break it up. Some patches open up to the sun beginning to come up over the marsh, so its really beautiful, if only I wasnt dead tired. But I’m on a mission, and as Dan says about leg 3, the faster you go, the quicker its over. There are a few slower teams scattered on the course, so they also help give me something to run towards. I basically lock into a 6:40ish pace and zone out…taking one mile at a time and trying to think about anything than walking or sleep. After what seems like forever, I hear the roar of  highway 17 and this jolts me out of my daydream. Luckily I draw a break in the cars and can cross without stopping. I know I’m only a half mile to the finish after the mile 7 split (7th mile 6:43,  every mile had been 6:40-6:49, total metronome)  so I blast as much a blue shoes kick as I can, knowing its the end of the whole thing. Finish in 50:02 for 7.48 miles,  6:41 pace, very close to my 12k PR at Ray Tanner actually.

So glad to be done at this point.  The run actually energizes me and its good to see David and Dan tear up the last two legs in similar fashion, crushing it out. We pass the baton on to van 2 and have a celebratory breakfast at IHOP. Afterwards we go to James Island County Park and wait for our other van to finish.  Brian has kept us updated throughout the relay, and Van 2 has been faster than projected as well. Kori is our ringer, flown in from Minnesota and out there nailing sub 6 pace on every leg.  He even took one of Ellen’s night legs to save her from dodging the cars and local wildlife. We know Liqours and Wildcats are too consistently strong, but we continue to be on Van on the Run PR pace, with a chance at a sub 24 hour time. At the finish they have free draft beer which tastes so good..even if I’m dead tired and just finished off some french toast within the past 2 hours. We sit at the finish line with the clock nearing 30 hours (which minus 6 hours is our time). Finally, with the clock at 29:55, Brian comes sprinting onto the finish area field, and we all run across together – 23:55 and a huge team PR.

We’ll know the official results in the upcoming week, but we are probably top 10, most likely closer to top 5.  I’ll certainly be back again next year.  Next up: Blue Ridge Relay Part II??

http://www.palmetto200.com/

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/168076213

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/168076196

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/168076179

The Fallen Heroes 5k is in its third year, with proceeds to benefit the Wounded Warriors Project. Somehow I had never done the race before, so I decided to run it, despite that my trophy hunting instincts felt the Resurrection Run might be a better opportunity for glory. Turns out this race had almost 500 runners, which is huge for a relatively new race.

Something unique about this race is the course – starts at the USC ROTC building at the corner of Pickens and Wheat, immediately climbs up the side of Mt. Saluda from the Columbia Marathon, does a loop through some area of Shandon that I’ve never seen before, then heads back down the mountain all the way to the finish. I thought this might be a good course for me since I’m a decent hill climber, and the screaming downhill at the end would only add some punch to the blue shoes kick.

I got there about 45 minutes early and did a mile out and back on the shared beginning and end of the course with the Code. The Code was already in depressive mode, having been dealt the ultimate shame of a blue shoes beatdown the week before. He said the shin splints were still acting up and “I might have to walk the downhills”. Right. Code’s grumblings aside, the first part of this course is brutal with a capital B. Unrelenting hill for three quarters of mile. To make things worse..something was going on with my shorts…

Which I finally figured out after 15+ minutes of some not so polite adjusting. Backwards. Nice. The time I made this discovery was exactly 2 minutes from the start, with nowhere to go to do a quick change. Fantastic. That’s what I get from getting up before the crack of dawn and dressing in the dark.

Start was pretty impressive – tons of people came out for this event – though relatively few regular racers, who were split between here, Resurrection and the Newberry race. Angel, Meg, Team Schmitz, Ted, Spence, J-Reeves, Team Lybrand, Barefoot John, Karen, and Eric M were all in attendance. Meg was trying to find a reason not to race – perhaps the fear of the blue shoes??

The start of 5ks are usually insane with everybody sprinting, but this one was actually more controlled, because the view from the bottom of Mt Saluda is pretty sobering.  Trying to power up this hill at 5k pace was as much fun as getting punched in the face. At least everybody else seemed to be feeling the pain too. I managed to pass Meg, but I kept noticing this woman ahead of me that was giving me the beatdown despite being dressed in a very casual outfit, like she might fit in with the 35 minute plus crowd. Either way she was leaving me for dead because I was sucking some serious wind by the time I reached the top. Luckily the Code wasnt too far ahead. I could even see Angel and a college kid in some battle royale right behind the pace car.  By the time I reached the mile mark, I didnt even look down at my split, because I knew it would be slow.

The next mile I tried to pick up the pace, though I really didnt do so until a quarter mile in with all the hill recovery. I finally started to make some headway on the field, passing a few guys in the loop in Shandon. I got completely turned around and realized I had absolutely no idea where I was going.   At one point I thought I was nearing the finishing hill when I made the painful realization I hadnt even got to the mile 2 mark. I guess I got distracted at this time, because all of a sudden I looked up and we were merging back into the oncoming stream of middle and back of the pack runners. I also realized that there appeared to be no one ahead of me anymore.  I had a moment of sheer panic but then turned around and saw others following me. My paranoia was heightened by some woman saying I was going the wrong way, which I think she meant as a joke since she was still heading out on the course, but really freaked me out.  I figured either I was on the right track or singlehandedly turning the rest of the race into chaos. To make things crazier, the field was so spread out toward the back that I was doing some Marcus Lattimore maneuvers to avoid strollers and walkers. I eventually just ran almost on the curb. I finally found volunteers directing me at a turn, so I guess I was on the right path after all. I had no idea what happened to the Code and the pack ahead of me, but they were nowhere in sight. Hit mile 2 in 6:20 despite all the slowdowns. I didnt know my mile 1 split, but I figured it was time to kick it hard to make up for that initial mountain climb. I finally hit the beginning of the long Saluda downslope, and tried to really blast it. This usually involves a lot of flopping arms and head in my case, since I apparently have limited control of my body on downhills. As I was flying down the hill I heard it…

Either a rogue tornado was approaching in the middle of a sunny spring morning or there was a train coming. Immediately I flashed back to the Fidler 5k , which uses a similar course, and how that race had been plagued by train stops. I knew I was close to the tracks though…maybe it was another railroad, or maybe I could blue shoe it and make it through. A volunteer was at the last turn before the straightaway to the finish. He saw me in full blue shoes kick blasting away and told me “Uh, you dont need to worry about it, there’s a freight in the way”. As I make the turn I see Angel and a few others standing around like its social hour and big tanker cars going by. After dropping some random obscenity I started to sprint, thinking it might be through by the time I get there, but then I realize the train is actually slowing down. So I stride up to the intersection and figure the race is over. After waiting around what seems like forever, the train is almost at a stop when Angel or somebody jumps up and starts climbing through the train. Suddenly the rest of us are up on the tanker cars and jumping off the other side. As soon as I hit the ground I’m sprinting like a freaking maniac, as though I’m still going to have a good time despite sitting around for 45 seconds. I see the clock change over to 20 minutes, and then we all slow down and basically line up in the order we reached the train.  Crossed in 20:15, 7th overall.

Then I realize Code isnt even at the finish. WTF? I look back and it looks like a scene from a disaster movie. Streams of people are coming out of every space in the train, which is now stopped. Some people, ahem… Karen, were even going UNDER the train – taking the phrase PR or ER quite literally. Finally someone starts directing runners around the train in some ditch up the road. Code shows up a few minutes later looking like he’s ready to kill someone. Apparently he and a few others got misdirected and ended up almost at Rosewood before turning around. I comforted him by taking a photo of his 22 minute finish and asking him how he could get blue shoed again.

One guy, a club runner at USC, apparently beat the train and finished in 18:02. The rest of the top 10 got held up but basically maintained our finish positions, minus Code and his expedition party. The woman on the hill, who is from Georgia, would have probably crushed a sub 19 and would be a great ringer for any wagering going on. Meg finished 2nd and Jennifer Lybrand finished 3rd overall in the women. Angel finished 3rd in the men. All the overall winners took home giant trophies, so I was extremely jealous. I may keep Angel’s since he had to leave before the awards ceremony.  Spence just missed out on the trophy action, finishing 4th. Crazy Legs won his first Masters age group, with Ted taking 2nd. I ended up in 2nd behind a guy I’ve never seen before. Team Holt also both won their age group.

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/165789086

http://www.strictlyrunning.com/RESULTS/12FALLENHEROES.TXT